I am struggling

[Anonymous]

OP, you can't or you won't find a therapist? It's not clear from what you said above.

[Anonymous]

That’s really hard, good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am really struggling with depression and feelings of worthlessness and failure right now.

I don’t feel like I have anyone I can lean on with this. The opposite— I feel I have to keep it together for others and hide what is really going on with me.

I just needed to tell someone. I wish I had someone, anyone, who could help me.

It’s hard to be the strong one all of the time. Please contact a local church. They often have free counselors or a Pastor that will help and listen. Praying for you Op. hugs and lots of love

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m sorry. I have had times much like you’re describing and it’s so, so hard.

When I didn’t have anyone to talk to, I wrote my feelings in a spiral notebook. It actually helped a little. Sometimes I wrote really dark things but getting them out seemed to help somehow. Other times I literally scribbled furious scribbles in rage over the pages. That helped, too.

In the end for me, antidepressants made a huge difference. I was worried about the cost but the major ones have generic versions that are like ten dollars a month with GoodRX at Giant.

I’m thinking of you and wishing you well. ❤️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am really struggling with depression and feelings of worthlessness and failure right now.

I don’t feel like I have anyone I can lean on with this. The opposite— I feel I have to keep it together for others and hide what is really going on with me.

I just needed to tell someone. I wish I had someone, anyone, who could help me.

Do you want to hurt yourself? If so, please go to an emergency room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I feel this. Get therapy for yourself. This is your life, no one else can fix it for you. Get a professional’s help so you can enjoy & get some meaning out of the years you have left.

I cannot find a therapist. I have worked hard to find one and a CANNOT do it. Please stop telling people to get therapists like it’s easy, it’s not.

Sorry you are having a hard time. I used a self help workbook program until a therapist was found. That and building in 15 to 20 minutes in my day to focus on me was a good start.

I recognize you are trying to be helpful but this doesn’t help.

I am looking for support, not advice. I really, really don’t want advice.

DP. I interpreted the last sentence of your OP (“I wish I had someone, anyone, who could help me”) as an opening for people to suggest how you could get help. But I understand just wanting to vent too.

Advice like "find a therapist" isn't very helpful because (1) most people are aware of therapy as an option, (2) finding a therapist is just one more thing for a person already struggling to do, and not an easy one at that.

Helpful advice would be suggesting ways to find a therapist, explaining exactly how you found your therapist, providing a list of low-cost or sliding scale therapists in the area, etc.

Same with "do a workbook." Give the name of the workbook you used. Explain how it helped.

At least the person on the thread who suggested medication provided the name of the medication and some advice about cost.

"Get a therapist" is actually kind of a cruel thing to say to someone who is posting desperately about depression and worthlessness in the middle of the night. It's not really an actionable piece of advice.

[Anonymous]

Sending you love! I found the following books helpful:

Adult children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Feeling Good by David Burns
Detox Your Thoughts

Therapy would be ideal but I understand it can be hard to access.

Your workplace may have an Employee Assistance Program that provides 6 free therapy sessions.

[Anonymous]

This is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is perfect.

Pretty much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I’m sorry. I have had times much like you’re describing and it’s so, so hard.

When I didn’t have anyone to talk to, I wrote my feelings in a spiral notebook. It actually helped a little. Sometimes I wrote really dark things but getting them out seemed to help somehow. Other times I literally scribbled furious scribbles in rage over the pages. That helped, too.

In the end for me, antidepressants made a huge difference. I was worried about the cost but the major ones have generic versions that are like ten dollars a month with GoodRX at Giant.

I’m thinking of you and wishing you well. ❤️

Journaling was hugely helpful for me too.

I’ve been where you are OP. It feels like you are going to feel awful forever. It isn’t forever. Hang on and it will get better!

[Anonymous]

Op hugs
Try 10 min of yoga, breathing exercises, the calm app or journaling. They are all easy to implement and may help to shift your mindset just a bit, in a positive way.
Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

I love this gentle yoga video. It really isn’t hard and lifts my mood. It is 40 minutes but even if you just do 10-15 minutes, it is a great way to show yourself some love. I know it says it is for seniors—I’m not a senior and love it. Hugs to you. You aren’t alone.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3BGQjGwEr3k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sending hugs your way.

Why can't you tell someone?

My spouse doesn’t know how to support me, I have no friends close enough to share it with, my family is dysfunctional and can’t handle emotional support. I don’t feel like I can afford a therapist right now and in the past when I stretched financially to pay for one, she was not very helpful and didn’t seem to listen to me or understand what my issues were. I really can’t afford to spend money on a therapist who doesn’t help or, in that case, seems to make it worse.

I might suggest (I am a therapist) that you find (online/zoom) for Adultchildren.org --it's a 12 step program for adult children of alcoholic or dysfunctional famlies. It's helped me tremendously and my parents are not alcoholics.

[Anonymous]

op, know that many many many of us feel like this. like we've got the absolute limit of what we can handle, like we are failing SO hard. Like we cannot do it any more and we dont know where to turn and we dont know who to turn to and nothing feels like it will help. Like a piece of gum stretched over a knee, or like someone trying to scramble up one of those steep slopes under an overpass, where the rocks keep coming loose and you keep losing your grip. And you probably have kids and you wake up in the morning and try to put the stretched gum, scrambling rocks person in a box and pretend to be the calm, confident, happy parent. and sometimes it all hits you that not only are you not happy but you're missing your kids growing up bc you aren't happy but you CAN'T be happy. scrambling, rocks, gum. and you wonder where the f the idea of how it was 'meant' to feel went. where you thought you'd blow dandelion clocks with a cute kid and giggle and sleep well at night and feel joy. I don't have advice, I just want you to know you're not alone. I wish I could find the dandelion clock blowing mom too.

[Anonymous]

This used to be me.

I found this DBT workbook very helpful:

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1684034582/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=616931534842&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9007537&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=13888034817601668395&hvtargid=kwd-6801168521&hydadcr=24631_13611696&keywords=the+dbt+skills+workbook&qid=1688265436&sr=8-1

Along with doing Jon Cabot Zinn’s guided meditation. The body scan in particular.

https://www.amazon.com/Guided-Mindfulness-Meditation-Series-1/dp/B083ZK7QQQ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1LHFF9ZJAPXKF&keywords=jon+cabot-zinn+guided+meditation&qid=1688265489&sprefix=jon+cabot-zinn+guided+meditation+%2Caps%2C111&sr=8-1