Scared of ADHD child/emotional dysregulation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't spank. You can't correct a disability by spanking.

I used to wake my kid up barely enough to get her to swallow the meds, then let her sleep another 45 minutes so she was fully medicated when she woke up.

NP. This is epic advice. The reason I DCUM. Thank you, oh wise one!!! Will start doing this ASAP.

[Anonymous]

To be clear, I meant administering the meds and letting DC fall back asleep. Why didn’t I think of that?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't spank. You can't correct a disability by spanking.

I used to wake my kid up barely enough to get her to swallow the meds, then let her sleep another 45 minutes so she was fully medicated when she woke up.

NP. This is epic advice. The reason I DCUM. Thank you, oh wise one!!! Will start doing this ASAP.

I'm so glad this helped. Another special needs parent gave me that advice when we were in the thick of things, in the worst of it. I could barely get through the day, let alone brainstorm new ideas. It was a lifesaver

[Anonymous]

I highly recommend Celebrat Calm https://celebratecalm.com/
Sending any kid to his room is a bad idea as is physical punishment, but there are great alternatives.
Also Zoloft. My son is still ashamed of how he treated his closest friends before he started Zoloft and at 23 he knows he’s on a small doss for life.

[Anonymous]

We did virtual parent training through Alvlord Baker. Try them - they often have a waitlist and are expensive but it was very good.

I know, really I do, that huge feeling of “I need to get my kid under control “ and I imagine it’s worse in the south where people may be more old fashioned about discipline. But I really agree with the PP about refusing to escalate. You know your kid is a good kid and he will eventually calm down and you can have a conversation, get him to make amends. While he’s out of control he can’t do it - you have to wait until he is ok. That’s when the training and natural consequences come in. Walk away, model calmness, show you are in control and you believe this is temporary. And please please please don’t spank any of your kids ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did virtual parent training through Alvlord Baker. Try them - they often have a waitlist and are expensive but it was very good.

I know, really I do, that huge feeling of “I need to get my kid under control “ and I imagine it’s worse in the south where people may be more old fashioned about discipline. But I really agree with the PP about refusing to escalate. You know your kid is a good kid and he will eventually calm down and you can have a conversation, get him to make amends. While he’s out of control he can’t do it - you have to wait until he is ok. That’s when the training and natural consequences come in. Walk away, model calmness, show you are in control and you believe this is temporary. And please please please don’t spank any of your kids ever again.

Fwiw, people are more old fashioned about discipline in the South but more realistic about behavior and expectations. All in all, it's better there than here.

[Anonymous]

My child would often need something physical to help him snap out of one of his meltdowns. So while spanking was the solution for the various reasons presented, sometimes finding an alternative would have the same impact. We'd get him to punch a pillow, or run laps, or break down a large box for recycling by jumping on it. In some cases easier said that done when he's not able to respond to instructions from us, but when we were able to get him to redirect his rage it helped to end the meltdown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thank you for the kindness and lack of judgement. We moved away from the DC area to a southern state with very few services/available therapists that aren’t preaching “Christian strategies”. We have a great child psychiatrist who monitors meds and we meet via zoom.
But finding training for me and my son-I haven’t had much luck. [/quot

I highly recommend Impact Parents! They're based out of Atlanta but do all of their training virtually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be clear, I meant administering the meds and letting DC fall back asleep. Why didn’t I think of that?!

This assumes your kid will go back to sleep after the med wake-up. After about 3 or 4am, my kid will spring awake and be up for the day if they hear so much as a gentle breeze outside, a floorboard creak, or any random (and minor) house noise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To be clear, I meant administering the meds and letting DC fall back asleep. Why didn’t I think of that?!

This assumes your kid will go back to sleep after the med wake-up. After about 3 or 4am, my kid will spring awake and be up for the day if they hear so much as a gentle breeze outside, a floorboard creak, or any random (and minor) house noise.

Look into Jornay. It’s given at night and is designed to kick in in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suggest parent training for parents with kids with ADHD. I wouldn't suggest therapy for a 10-year old with ADHD.

There are several options. I like the ADHD Dude but that's my personal preference.

This for sure.

[Anonymous]

Look into adding a non-stimulant medication, which may let you lower the stimulant dose. DS takes kapvay and concerta. Kapvay twice a day, and concerta just in the am. He needs it because he is extremely hyper and physical off medication. We literally never see the hyperactivity anymore. He's not doing a camp this week and I forgot to give him his stimulant until 10:30am, but his behavior was still impeccable at that point. When he was on stimulant only, he'd wake up like a maniac. While emotional outbursts aren't his problem, I assume the benefits of this type of twice a day medication would apply equally to your DS. And in our case, we were able to lower the stimulant dose by half when we added the non-stimulant. The non-stimulant isn't perfect on its own, but it gets you 50% there, and a low dose stimulant takes off the edge.

[Anonymous]

Also read The Explosive Child. You could have Plan Ced what was happening at the breakfast table (which will make sense once you read the book) and had a much more peaceful morning. The Explosive Child is a game changer.

[Anonymous]

OP, there are some therapists who are licensed/have reciprocity in multiple states. You might be able to meet with someone good at least remotely. There is some pact or something that allows them to do this.

I would look for someone great out of state, so at least you get support.

Also, in the meantime, try a remote parent support group.

I encourage you to read/practice self-compassion. It's the only thing that's really helped me when my son is out of control.

[Anonymous]

op please please do not hit your child.
a. it's abusive
b. as others have pointed out it is showing your own emotional dysregulation
c. it's causing him trauma which may be contributing to his outbursts and finally
d. I could be wrong but i'm pretty sure hitting your kid is illegal in DC so if anyone finds out they can and will call CPS.