Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?
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Anonymous
| I would have to think they'd committed or were about to commit murder or suicide to do it. By the time they get to college, they know how to conduct themselves. |
Anonymous
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Simply bc you pay the bills? No. If you have a legitimate concern about a child with depression/anxiety/special needs/addiction issues… mayyybe.
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Anonymous
| That is super extreme, OP. Is your child in crisis? If you are at the level where you feel the need to violate their privacy like that, maybe it’s time to get a professional involved. |
Anonymous
| If you infantilize your adult child like that the results will likely be that they meet your expectations and continue to be your baby for many years to come, or they will refuse to have a relationship with you at all. |
Anonymous
No, no and no. You can stop paying if you want but unless they agree, you can't control them with your wallet. That's unfair invasion of privacy of another adult. Would you want to share yours with your parents or employer or bank? |
Anonymous
| Only reasons I can think of are danger of suicide or homicide or similar, then all bets are off and you do whatever is needed to save them. |
Anonymous
| I had a mom who did this, and I was exhibiting no suspicious behavior. She also read my journal growing up and would bring up stuff in it like a boy I liked or when I expressed frustration with a friend or a class. Not surprising that we were not close AT ALL and I never went to her for actual problems. I'm 37 now and we have a strained relationship. |
Anonymous
| No! |
Anonymous
| No because I do not think the young adult in our family is mentally unstable or in danger. |
Anonymous
why are you suspicious? We have never done any of that, nor have we even been tempted. |
Anonymous
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No, of course not. The only thing I have a right to do is see grades, and pull financial support if the grades are not up to par.
But by all means, keep up the psycho, controlling behavior. You will reap the distant relationship you sow. |
Anonymous
Seems ok if all phones on her account (not simply paying). Not that I recommend reading the texts. |
Anonymous
Your mom was wrong to do that. |
Anonymous
| Why? |
Anonymous
It's not legal even if it's on the same account. |