Do you reserve the right to check your college kids’ texts if you’re paying the phone bill?

[Anonymous]

And also search their car & bedroom?

[Anonymous]

Yep

[Anonymous]

Do you want your child to continue to talk to you after they graduate?

[Anonymous]

Of course not.

[Anonymous]

What are you hoping to accomplish?

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous. Of course not.

[Anonymous]

No, stopped by 11th grade, maybe 10th (now a college senior)

[Anonymous]

No way. Nor would I ever want to.

[Anonymous]

I guess technically maybe you could claim you have that “right”, but no. The last time I checked was freshman or sophomore year of high school.

[Anonymous]

Um, that’s actually illegal. Look at the ECPA. There is no exception for people who pay the cell phone bill.

You however are well within your rights to not pay for your child’s cell phone bill.

[Anonymous]

Why?

Are you legitimately scared for their personal safety (like, do you think they are caught up in selling drugs or prostitution or a violent relationship or something extreme)?

[Anonymous]

I would only search the car/bedroom if I thought there were drugs in there assuming I owned the car obviously. The main reason for that are the forfeiture laws and I'm not risking losing my property if they have a substantial amount of drugs. Otherwise I'd butt out and would never search the phone.

[Anonymous]

No. You do not. End of thread, there is nothing to discuss here.

[Anonymous]

What are you looking for? Why don’t you trust them?? I feel no need to snoop on my AC bc they are really open with me and tell me what they and their friends are up to. As for the rest, they are entitled to their privacy. How long are you going to treat them like they are teenagers, and when are you going to evolve your relationship with them? It’s time to grow up OP

[Anonymous]

I already don't do this with my middle and high schooler, so unless they were mentally ill or drugged, I can't imagine doing this. Their car, until they can afford to buy one, is our car, so I see anything my driving teen leaves behind. We pay for everything, and will continue to do so for many years.

I don't know what to tell you, OP, except that neither my husband or I or anyone in the family ever ran into any trouble as youths, and neither do my teens or their cousins. For us it's easier to build trust than be authoritarian.