HS Bully Died of Cancer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she became a better person after high school, and maybe she didn't. Either way, as far as you know, it's good riddance to the b1tch, and it's perfectly fine to feel that way.

This. You’re not dancing on her grave or expressing your negative feelings for her to her family. You’re fine and normal, OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, I totally understand why you don't want to talk with anyone about it. I was bullied horribly as a child, and have never really recovered from it. I told my husband about it once and then regretted it. For one thing, I still feel ashamed about it in the first place, and that's not a feeling that will ever go away. As for being happy she's dead, I actually look forward to the day when the people who bullied me die - I hope to outlive them enough to enjoy it. So, enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Your mixed feelings are perfectly understandable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out yesterday that a woman who bullied me in high school died of cancer recently. We are in our 50s. It was really strange to look her up online and see what she did with her life. No one ever wants to wish something bad on someone, but of course my first thought when I found out was “Wasn’t that the girl who bullied me?”. I had it tough then and I’ve overcome a lot. Posting here because I’m embarrassed to talk about it with my husband or current friends.

What's embarrassing about talking about it? I think it's perfectly fine.

OP: I guess I’m still embarrassed to have been on the receiving end of someone else’s emotional problems, to have been identified as a target.

That’s silly. You didn’t ask for it. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

Spoken like someone who has never been targeted. Not OP, but was a target throughout school. When you spend a good bit of your formative years being treated as if you were less than human, and being told you are in fact less than human, that shame becomes a part of you and never goes away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posting here because I’m embarrassed to talk about it with my husband or current friends.

You should be, and I say that as someone who's still traumatized from the bullying they went through.

People shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about being bullied when they were younger.

They should be ostracized for celebrating someone's death.

[Anonymous]

I pray you never fully understand the absolute misery and sadness that your ex bully and her family faced. Cancer isn't just a bully. It's truly evil. Don't celebrate this OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found out yesterday that a woman who bullied me in high school died of cancer recently. We are in our 50s. It was really strange to look her up online and see what she did with her life. No one ever wants to wish something bad on someone, but of course my first thought when I found out was “Wasn’t that the girl who bullied me?”. I had it tough then and I’ve overcome a lot. Posting here because I’m embarrassed to talk about it with my husband or current friends.

What's embarrassing about talking about it? I think it's perfectly fine.

OP: I guess I’m still embarrassed to have been on the receiving end of someone else’s emotional problems, to have been identified as a target.

That’s silly. You didn’t ask for it. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

Spoken like someone who has never been targeted. Not OP, but was a target throughout school. When you spend a good bit of your formative years being treated as if you were less than human, and being told you are in fact less than human, that shame becomes a part of you and never goes away.

If you are mentally that weak, you have bigger issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posting here because I’m embarrassed to talk about it with my husband or current friends.

You should be, and I say that as someone who's still traumatized from the bullying they went through.

People shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about being bullied when they were younger.

They should be ostracized for celebrating someone's death.

I don't see OP celebrating. We're all going to die; this is nothing remarkable. It's okay to feel relief when someone who caused so much pain leaves this world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I pray you never fully understand the absolute misery and sadness that your ex bully and her family faced. Cancer isn't just a bully. It's truly evil. Don't celebrate this OP.

At the end of the day, we are going to be remembered as we lived. Suffering yourself does not excuse you when you inflict pain on others.

[Anonymous]

OP is allowed to think anything she wants and feel whatever she does. There is no shame in expressing these feeling anonymously. Do not be the thought police.

Now if OP danced on the grave or wrote a hostile letter to the family about her bully that should be shamed, but OP hasn't done that. There is danger in shaming people for feelings and thoughts they don't act on. OP needs to be able to admit these normal thoughts so she can process it all.

My MIL was atrocious to me and was a horrible mother to her children. Let's just say by CPS standards there was neglect, emotional and verbal abuse with an incident of physical. She died in a miserable way. We didn't publish in an obituary that she was a demon, but we certainly talked privately among ourselves (immediate family and those of us who married in) about the fact she was an angry and mean spirited person. Her neighbors shared a few stories of their experiences which were funny stories about extreme selfishness. Nobody was offended. They captured who she was and stuck to facts though they did find it amusing how entitled she could be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mixed feelings are perfectly understandable.

+1. We understand. Don’t say it out loud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Posting here because I’m embarrassed to talk about it with my husband or current friends.

You should be, and I say that as someone who's still traumatized from the bullying they went through.

People shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about being bullied when they were younger.

They should be ostracized for celebrating someone's death.

Some people do not positively contribute to society, and are actual negative in society. It's fine to celebrate those peoples' deaths.

[Anonymous]

OP: Thanks all for your empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently came across the news that an elementary school bully had died of cancer. Looking at her obituary gave me a glimpse of her life -- un wed mother with 2 kids from 2 different dads, very christian, close with her family. It was hard to have ill feelings toward her as it seemed like that the mean, cruel person that I knew at 10 years old went on to become a better person later in life.

Nothing about that says "better person" to me. Unmarried mom with two different baby daddies, but she's "very christian?" LOL. Sure. Sounds like a massive hypocrite. She was probably very close with her family because no one else could stand her.

I do feel sorry for her kids, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I pray you never fully understand the absolute misery and sadness that your ex bully and her family faced. Cancer isn't just a bully. It's truly evil. Don't celebrate this OP.

She's not celebrating it. She's posting in secret on an anonymous forum.

It's human to have a little schadenfreude in your heart when a horrible person gets what is coming to them. Just don't indulge in it, or you end up becoming them.