Do I tell them?

[Anonymous]

Let your ex-h tell them what a fool he is.

Ugh going to my BIL 2 nd wedding in June. To us it’s just comical, knocked up a 30 yo at 50. His kids hate him.

Oddly the mom of the kid died and he’s marrying some wonderful divorced chick who isn’t fooling enough to have more kids, she will raise the motherless child.., thank god because my BIL he’s useless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let your ex-h tell them what a fool he is.

Ugh going to my BIL 2 nd wedding in June. To us it’s just comical, knocked up a 30 yo at 50. His kids hate him.

Oddly the mom of the kid died and he’s marrying some wonderful divorced chick who isn’t fooling enough to have more kids, she will raise the motherless child.., thank god because my BIL he’s useless.

I know a man who, at the age of 55, has six children, ages: 2, 9, 11, 11, 27 & 29. Has been happily in second marriage for about 15 years. Wife is a decade younger.

I can’t imagine having a 2 y/o at 55!

[Anonymous]

Lots of judgement of everyone else's choices on this thread.

Anyway, shopping for a ring? Who cares. Your ex will let his kids know, I suppose, when his wedding date is. His kids can decide whether or not they wish to go, and what their future relationship is going to look like.

Life, I hope, will be long for all of you. And in those many decades, you will have plenty of time to see currently tense relationships develop into something that's a little more constructive, I hope. Just because there's hate now, doesn't mean there will always be hate.

I don't understand this theme on DCUM that the kids of the first wife hate their father who left to have kids with someone else. I really hope my children would be more mature than that, if I ever leave my husband, or my husband ever leaves me.

[Anonymous]

It is completely inappropriate for you to announce someone else’s engagement — especially before it’s even taken place! I’d be irate if I didn’t get to be the one to inform my kids that I was getting married.

Stay out of it. It’s not your job to manage relationships for your former spouse or adult children. Besides, if you say anything, it will like like you’re intentionally stirring the pot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ffs move on with your own life. Dear god let it go. Your children are adults!

They still need their parents.

Nobody likes young second wives & their desire to replace first wife’s kids, sorry.

Then you should have stayed married. Adults don’t need parented. You are worried about losing your atm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Lots of judgement of everyone else's choices on this thread.

Anyway, shopping for a ring? Who cares. Your ex will let his kids know, I suppose, when his wedding date is. His kids can decide whether or not they wish to go, and what their future relationship is going to look like.

Life, I hope, will be long for all of you. And in those many decades, you will have plenty of time to see currently tense relationships develop into something that's a little more constructive, I hope. Just because there's hate now, doesn't mean there will always be hate.

I don't understand this theme on DCUM that the kids of the first wife hate their father who left to have kids with someone else. I really hope my children would be more mature than that, if I ever leave my husband, or my husband ever leaves me.

The difference is that, in the case of the bolded, you won’t have more kids.

[Anonymous]

Which one of you is responsible for raising such needy children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Lots of judgement of everyone else's choices on this thread.

Anyway, shopping for a ring? Who cares. Your ex will let his kids know, I suppose, when his wedding date is. His kids can decide whether or not they wish to go, and what their future relationship is going to look like.

Life, I hope, will be long for all of you. And in those many decades, you will have plenty of time to see currently tense relationships develop into something that's a little more constructive, I hope. Just because there's hate now, doesn't mean there will always be hate.

I don't understand this theme on DCUM that the kids of the first wife hate their father who left to have kids with someone else. I really hope my children would be more mature than that, if I ever leave my husband, or my husband ever leaves me.

The difference is that, in the case of the bolded, you won’t have more kids.

PP you replied to. But... I WANT more kids, and I'm young enough to have more kids. It is not a crime to have kids with consecutive spouses, and it does not automatically mean that only bad parents do this, or that the older kids are necessarily penalized. We are all different, and most of us do our best with what we have. Sure, men can have kids until late in life and men with kids from second and third wives is cliche. But working within that cliche, I don't think they're worse parents because of their re-marriages. They just never were the most hands-on parent in the first place, and buy into the
"wife/mother as primary parent" model. The hands-on parents, if they ever have second families, continue to be hands-on parents. It's in their nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Lots of judgement of everyone else's choices on this thread.

Anyway, shopping for a ring? Who cares. Your ex will let his kids know, I suppose, when his wedding date is. His kids can decide whether or not they wish to go, and what their future relationship is going to look like.

Life, I hope, will be long for all of you. And in those many decades, you will have plenty of time to see currently tense relationships develop into something that's a little more constructive, I hope. Just because there's hate now, doesn't mean there will always be hate.

I don't understand this theme on DCUM that the kids of the first wife hate their father who left to have kids with someone else. I really hope my children would be more mature than that, if I ever leave my husband, or my husband ever leaves me.

The difference is that, in the case of the bolded, you won’t have more kids.

PP you replied to. But... I WANT more kids, and I'm young enough to have more kids. It is not a crime to have kids with consecutive spouses, and it does not automatically mean that only bad parents do this, or that the older kids are necessarily penalized. We are all different, and most of us do our best with what we have. Sure, men can have kids until late in life and men with kids from second and third wives is cliche. But working within that cliche, I don't think they're worse parents because of their re-marriages. They just never were the most hands-on parent in the first place, and buy into the
"wife/mother as primary parent" model. The hands-on parents, if they ever have second families, continue to be hands-on parents. It's in their nature.

Yeah yeah do whatever you want. It's your dysfunctional family. It's in people's nature not to like their father's (or mother's) second family and most women who are the same age as their step kids figure it out pretty quick and learn to deal. I guess we got some fourth wives here who are a little slow on the uptake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which one of you is responsible for raising such needy children?

Why do you hate your children so much that you feel the need to create a second family to replace them? Are you going to disinherit your older kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AC's are aware of exDH's GF and his plan to have more kids with her, which presumably means getting married. Do I tell them he is shopping for an engagement ring? Don't ask me how I know, but I do. Or MMOB? One AC is taking this really hard, so not sure if me gently telling the news is better than him just dropping it like a bomb. What would you want to have happen? Thanks.

They’ve probably overheard it by now. They probably glance at your texts, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ffs move on with your own life. Dear god let it go. Your children are adults!

They still need their parents.

Nobody likes young second wives & their desire to replace first wife’s kids, sorry.

They are not kids, they are adults. They need to get over their dad's sex life and find some friends, SOs, hobbies etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which one of you is responsible for raising such needy children?

Why do you hate your children so much that you feel the need to create a second family to replace them? Are you going to disinherit your older kids?

Oh, so it's about money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ffs move on with your own life. Dear god let it go. Your children are adults!

They still need their parents.

Nobody likes young second wives & their desire to replace first wife’s kids, sorry.

They are not kids, they are adults. They need to get over their dad's sex life and find some friends, SOs, hobbies etc.

Parenting doesn’t end the day a kid turns 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which one of you is responsible for raising such needy children?

Why do you hate your children so much that you feel the need to create a second family to replace them? Are you going to disinherit your older kids?

Oh, so it's about money.

Well, if Dad has 3 more kids, that dilutes the pot for the 3 older kids.