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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Lots of judgement of everyone else's choices on this thread.

Anyway, shopping for a ring? Who cares. Your ex will let his kids know, I suppose, when his wedding date is. His kids can decide whether or not they wish to go, and what their future relationship is going to look like.

Life, I hope, will be long for all of you. And in those many decades, you will have plenty of time to see currently tense relationships develop into something that's a little more constructive, I hope. Just because there's hate now, doesn't mean there will always be hate.

I don't understand this theme on DCUM that the kids of the first wife hate their father who left to have kids with someone else. I really hope my children would be more mature than that, [b]if I ever leave my husband,[/b] or my husband ever leaves me.

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The difference is that, in the case of the bolded, you won’t have more kids. [/quote]

PP you replied to. But... I WANT more kids, and I'm young enough to have more kids. It is not a crime to have kids with consecutive spouses, and it does not automatically mean that only bad parents do this, or that the older kids are necessarily penalized. We are all different, and most of us do our best with what we have. Sure, men can have kids until late in life and men with kids from second and third wives is cliche. But working within that cliche, I don't think they're worse parents because of their re-marriages. They just never were the most hands-on parent in the first place, and buy into the 
"wife/mother as primary parent" model. The hands-on parents, if they ever have second families, continue to be hands-on parents. It's in their nature.

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