Do you ask about guns when you schedule play dates?

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids - 13, 11, and 8. Frankly I don’t often ask. I doubt I will ask anymore. When I used to feel like I needed to ask I would say - fyi we don’t have guns if you were wondering and usually they would respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dogs worry me more than guns on playdates. But I wouldn’t let my kids go visit someone who I didn’t think would secure firearms properly.

+1

Assuming a nice normal family, they'll have their guns stored somewhere, not lying around loaded along with drugs and open bottles of booze. It takes some effort for the kids to get them, even if they are stored poorly. A dog, on the other hand, can come at you any time any place. And dog owners are so much more in denial about how dangerous their dog is.

[Anonymous]

This is true, but DH has a friend, completely typical/average DCUM Dad, who has a handgun that was not locked up, just kept on a closet shelf. Their child absolutely would try to show it off to friends (they have some social struggles) and when DH told me, I was surprised. That said, I am more concerned about the middle/high school age. I find it more likely teenagers are left alone and show off guns…based on my own experience growing up!

[Anonymous]

Who would actually respond “No, I keep it loaded and lying around?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who would actually respond “No, I keep it loaded and lying around?”

+1. I feel like I don’t need to ask the gun question because there are other signs that tell me this isn’t a safe house to go to on a playdate.

[Anonymous]

DH is a LEO, and some people who’ve come over know that already. I’m assuming they know that means we have guns. I haven’t been asked yet, but I absolutely wouldn’t be offended. If anyone acts offended when asked, I wouldn’t want my kid at their house anyway.

[Anonymous]

I’ve raised four kids to high school, lots of playdates both ways, and nobody has ever once asked about our guns, not have we asked.

Yet this topic comes up every few weeks, and people always chime in that they always make sure to ask.

I wonder why there’s such a disconnect.

[Anonymous]

Why are you freaked out? If you’d asked, they would have said yes, it’s locked up. Would you have freaked out then? They sound like responsible gun owners. Kind of weird they told your kid though.

I grew up in a house with many, many guns. They were always locked up and ammo kept separate. I never even saw them unless they were being cleaned after use.

[Anonymous]

I have tweens and teens and have never been asked and never ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I never ask and I trust that if they have it it’s locked. If someone asked me, I would avoid them in the future as high maintenance

Agree.

+1
And not a gun owner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH is a LEO, and some people who’ve come over know that already. I’m assuming they know that means we have guns. I haven’t been asked yet, but I absolutely wouldn’t be offended. If anyone acts offended when asked, I wouldn’t want my kid at their house anyway.

When my son was in k, his best friend’s dad was a LEO. I did ask about how they stored guns and he said he got home from work and immediately unloaded them and put them in a safe. I was comfortable with that. I wouldn’t expect a cop to leave a gun laying around. A safe next to the bed with a fingerprint scanner, yes, but not loaded and accessible by kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH has guns. I have 3 kids - ES through college age. We have only been asked once and I wasn’t at all offended. I explained that the guns are locked at all times unloaded in a safe that requires both a key and a numeric code. I offered to let the mom see how the are stored. She said she was comfortable with my explanation and the playdate proceeded as planned.

If any gun owner is offended by your asking, I would worry they aren’t storing their guns safely.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have tweens and teens and have never been asked and never ask.

This. Never been asked and I’ve never asked. Oldest 2 are in college now.

[Anonymous]

This topic comes up every couple of weeks here.

No, I have never asked. My oldest is 8. Playdates are still semi supervised. Access to guns is not something I think about when my kids are playing with others. But we have talked about gun safety. We don't own any but others in my family do and my kids have seen them and understand the concept of safe storage.

If this makes you anxious or you have a reason to doubt the responsibility of the family you should just not let your kid at their home. I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me but I would think you are weird.

[Anonymous]

We have a gun safe and they are kept locked away. Ammo is actually in a separate safe. Our kids don't know about the guns (even though they know DH goes hunting).

I would think you're high maintenance and would likely rescind the playdate. I'm not offended by your question, I'm more offended because you likely think people who have guns are crazies and I really don't want those kind of friends. DH goes to war zones regularly and needs to know how to protect himself. He also hunts and we eat the game. Which I get also offends a lot of people who'd rather eat a cow that lived in a pen.