Staying at parents’ house with kids

[Anonymous]

My inlaws are like this. We call it the "unwelcome welcome". They act like we're such an inconvenience, but then complain that we don't come more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Grandmother here. Stay at a hotel. If you don’t want to or can’t pat for it ask your parents to.

We have the opposite issue. We have no problems when our grandkids stay in our small house. But we get a hotel when we visit our kids because we are annoying. And they have big houses.

I suggest you talk about this with your parents. You may learn they would welcome this idea.

Op already said they don’t want to pay for a hotel/airbnb, nor should they have to. Op’s parents /in-laws could take a lesson from you and either be more gracious hosts, be the ones to make the effort to visit, or accept not having a relationship with their grandchildren.

Yeah OP said she didn't want to b/c they CHOOSE to pay for other vacations. Choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound high maintenance. I don't allow kids to bring water/food all over the house. That's not respectful. Bring a basket for the shoes. And, bring towels. Five people, and all the sheets, towels, etc. does get to be a lot.

Dislodge the stick, MeeMaw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't she express her annoyance without it being a deal breaker? Maybe she is annoyed with the clutter but still wants you there. Maybe let it not bother you -- or ask her if it bothers her as much as she's making it sound. It's normal to have all that stuff with kids. It's also normal to be annoyed by it.

They are given three bedrooms. The stuff should stay there.

[Anonymous]

If they can’t get over 3 water bottles on the counter, this is never going to work.

You have 2 choices: ignore their discomfort or get a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Keep visits to 3-4 days. Then you may have time and energy to see them more frequently. They may do better with shorter visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound high maintenance. I don't allow kids to bring water/food all over the house. That's not respectful. Bring a basket for the shoes. And, bring towels. Five people, and all the sheets, towels, etc. does get to be a lot.

Op here. My parents (and in-laws actually) don’t have plastic cups and only use glass cups that are identical. So kids had a cup at each meal. They’d reuse them but when you clear the table you can’t tell them apart. 5 cups x 3 meals and they went crazy. And then water bottles because we’re going to amusement parks, playgrounds and hikes. Anyways, I thought that if I brought labeled water bottles and that’s all my kids could use for the whole day that the problem would be solved. I washed them at night. When you clear the counter though, there’s no where to put water bottles. I wish we could have a drawer or a shelf in the pantry.

And no, all of the closets and dressers are full. My parents aren’t hoarders, but there isn’t room for our clothes. Same with in-laws (the one room doesn’t have a closet and the other they store coats in it).

I guess no I don’t think it’s reasonable for parents to complain at us about our mess. Unless they’re pointing out a solution. Life is already harder in a new location (naps, bedtime, food) and I’m trying my best.

Choices, yes, I get that. We do vacation with parents but they like it when we visit. And no, they’d absolutely not pay for a hotel. We don’t get any money from parents.

[Anonymous]

So, bring a set of plastic dishes for the kids. They don’t have kids so expecting a kid friendly home is not reasonable.

[Anonymous]

This is why you don’t have three kids. One or two is enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t have three kids. One or two is enough.

How many should OP leave behind?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t have three kids. One or two is enough.

How many should OP leave behind?

It’s more a PSA for others to not have a horde of kids that you and others can’t handle

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP, that sucks. It sounds like they just dislike being around young children and the mess that occasionally comes with it. It also sounds like you've made an effort on your part to minimize the clutter, etc. and to be respectful houseguests.

I'd tell your parents outright, if you haven't already, that you feel unwelcome whenever you come to visit and ask them for their ideas in finding solutions. Maybe as a PP suggested, those collapsible bins will work to corral plastic kitchen stuff in one spot. But if it continues, I'd simply visit less and I'd be happy to tell them why, if/when they complain.

[Anonymous]

Your parents like the idea of you visiting more than the actual visit. Have they always been fussy? My parents have definitely become more cantankerous with age but not to the extent of micromanaging their grandkids.
Ask them to visit you and go vacation where you’ll have fun instead of subjecting yourself to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t have three kids. One or two is enough.

Looks like OP’s parents have landed here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why you don’t have three kids. One or two is enough.

How many should OP leave behind?

It’s more a PSA for others to not have a horde of kids that you and others can’t handle

Easier to stop visiting ridiculous grandparents. Just don’t whine that no one wants to see you.