Our Entire House is DH’s Office

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family paperwork is a 15 minute a week task. It would be very easy to ask him to avoid a space while you are on an interview, which is very likely only once in a while.

The real problem is that it seems like he is intruding in your “me” time.

Seriously? It takes me 15 minutes to empty out my kids’ backpacks each day and decide what to keep and what to toss, and that’s before actually DOING anything. Family administration has taken me HOURS over the past month. We’re going to Europe for 2 weeks this summer and researching and booking flights, trains, hotels, and making sure all of our passports are in order is no joke. We’re not hiring a travel agent and DH and kids are counting on me to have a good trip.

So if DH has a bad time he’s going to blame you?

You don’t need a travel agent you need marriage counselor

And it’s 2023 who uses a travel agent for Europe?

[Anonymous]

This is me but I am the only one who ever works from home, and my kid is in daycare! And my firm does not have a call-heavy culture.

We don't have enough space for a dedicated home office (without sacrificing a guest room, which I value having for sibling/grandparent visits).

It's whatever.

[Anonymous]

Since talking about it and offering solutions didn’t work,
I woukd passive aggressively run the roomba. Or the blender/ food processor, regular vacuum, etc. and just shrug and continue on if I got the eye from him.

You’ve got to do your job too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family paperwork is a 15 minute a week task. It would be very easy to ask him to avoid a space while you are on an interview, which is very likely only once in a while.

The real problem is that it seems like he is intruding in your “me” time.

Seriously? It takes me 15 minutes to empty out my kids’ backpacks each day and decide what to keep and what to toss, and that’s before actually DOING anything. Family administration has taken me HOURS over the past month. We’re going to Europe for 2 weeks this summer and researching and booking flights, trains, hotels, and making sure all of our passports are in order is no joke. We’re not hiring a travel agent and DH and kids are counting on me to have a good trip.

THANK YOU. Just because it's 15 minutes for one person doesn't mean that it's 15 for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family paperwork is a 15 minute a week task. It would be very easy to ask him to avoid a space while you are on an interview, which is very likely only once in a while.

The real problem is that it seems like he is intruding in your “me” time.

Seriously? It takes me 15 minutes to empty out my kids’ backpacks each day and decide what to keep and what to toss, and that’s before actually DOING anything. Family administration has taken me HOURS over the past month. We’re going to Europe for 2 weeks this summer and researching and booking flights, trains, hotels, and making sure all of our passports are in order is no joke. We’re not hiring a travel agent and DH and kids are counting on me to have a good trip.

How old are the kids?? Why are you doing their tasks? Train them to deal with their own stuff, then you'll have more time to do your freelance travel agent gig.

[Anonymous]

I can relate so hard. DH and I are both lawyers and I swear to God I’m about to start billing his clients.

[Anonymous]

Try WFH in a one-bedroom apartment with two adults with a husband who is losing his hearing.

[Anonymous]

I do this and now I’m realizing it might be posing off my DH. Just gently mention that it would help you if he paced his office instead and kept work issues to himself. If my spouse even hinted at that I would refrain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family paperwork is a 15 minute a week task. It would be very easy to ask him to avoid a space while you are on an interview, which is very likely only once in a while.

The real problem is that it seems like he is intruding in your “me” time.

Seriously? It takes me 15 minutes to empty out my kids’ backpacks each day and decide what to keep and what to toss, and that’s before actually DOING anything. Family administration has taken me HOURS over the past month. We’re going to Europe for 2 weeks this summer and researching and booking flights, trains, hotels, and making sure all of our passports are in order is no joke. We’re not hiring a travel agent and DH and kids are counting on me to have a good trip.

So if DH has a bad time he’s going to blame you?

You don’t need a travel agent you need marriage counselor

And it’s 2023 who uses a travel agent for Europe?

No, but the flights and hotels aren’t going to book themselves. It would be pretty bad if we arrived and I didn’t get around to booking us a hotel. Who do you think should make our reservations?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I have both been WFH for years - way before covid. DH does same pacing through house on calls all day - and he has no volume control - which drives me batty as I can’t think with the noise. We both have home offices but my DH starts day at kitchen island, then migrates to centrally located dining room. He takes over the screened porch if its nice - and takes his calls (80% of his day) wherever. My WFH is rarely calls - as I’m out on site visits for meeting ls so in & out throughout day.

My bottom line is this is a home first and the stresses of work do not need to bleed out to everyone else who lives here. Kids are allowed to be kids when they’re home and being kids - and dog doesn’t need to be crated because he’s in a meeting when he has a secluded office with a door available. He does 80% of kid duties so I’m thrilled he’s here and flexible but this work from home is a sanity challenge!!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like people don’t like their spouse working from home, especially if they don’t work. I know some people who feel this way, and they feel monitored, even if the working spouse doesn’t do anything special to monitor. As an earlier poster said, the non-working spouse perceives that their roaming, working spouse is an invasion of their “me” time. One friend doesn’t like her husband knowing how much Netflix she watches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family paperwork is a 15 minute a week task. It would be very easy to ask him to avoid a space while you are on an interview, which is very likely only once in a while.

The real problem is that it seems like he is intruding in your “me” time.

Seriously? It takes me 15 minutes to empty out my kids’ backpacks each day and decide what to keep and what to toss, and that’s before actually DOING anything. Family administration has taken me HOURS over the past month. We’re going to Europe for 2 weeks this summer and researching and booking flights, trains, hotels, and making sure all of our passports are in order is no joke. We’re not hiring a travel agent and DH and kids are counting on me to have a good trip.

15 minutes for backpacks? GTFOH

I don’t think 3 minutes per backpack is unreasonable. 3 minutes x 5 kids=15 minutes. Maybe you are much more efficient at managing your family. My family is a lot of work, but I love it!

You’re checking backpacks for 5 kids? IME,the backpack checking age range is from 4-8. How many people have 5 kids in that range give or take a year or two? Before that age there’s not much to check for. And after 8 or 9 they really are able to be responsible for their own things. Permission slips or fun events like the book fair or spirit week, if you want to participate the you need to own your part and get mom and dad the paper work. But certainly not checking their backpack every night.

[Anonymous]

Similar boat here. You need to have a come to Jesus talk and set some boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family paperwork is a 15 minute a week task. It would be very easy to ask him to avoid a space while you are on an interview, which is very likely only once in a while.

The real problem is that it seems like he is intruding in your “me” time.

Seriously? It takes me 15 minutes to empty out my kids’ backpacks each day and decide what to keep and what to toss, and that’s before actually DOING anything. Family administration has taken me HOURS over the past month. We’re going to Europe for 2 weeks this summer and researching and booking flights, trains, hotels, and making sure all of our passports are in order is no joke. We’re not hiring a travel agent and DH and kids are counting on me to have a good trip.

This is why they say… SAHMs with kids in school are useless. They fill up the time with make-work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family paperwork is a 15 minute a week task. It would be very easy to ask him to avoid a space while you are on an interview, which is very likely only once in a while.

The real problem is that it seems like he is intruding in your “me” time.

Seriously? It takes me 15 minutes to empty out my kids’ backpacks each day and decide what to keep and what to toss, and that’s before actually DOING anything. Family administration has taken me HOURS over the past month. We’re going to Europe for 2 weeks this summer and researching and booking flights, trains, hotels, and making sure all of our passports are in order is no joke. We’re not hiring a travel agent and DH and kids are counting on me to have a good trip.

Is this a joke? You know that plenty of people plan trips to Europe, with kids, while holding down full time jobs. I'd hate to hear your whining if you had to do this while working a job.