Employee says manager is condescending. How to handle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she too social? Maybe she needs to tone it down and focus more on work unless it’s her job to be social.

THIS is why we gotta stop blaming women. Wtf is ‘too social’ and why does that deserve or excuse a condescending manager? No. Be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she too social? Maybe she needs to tone it down and focus more on work unless it’s her job to be social.

It's a very, very social field. It may be part of the problem but the fact that this guy has never greeted her seems very off.

[Anonymous]

Is there anyone who can talk to him about this? He should know that he/the org is at risk of losing an employee over his attitude.

[Anonymous]

The only way you can figure this out is by doing a 365 review. The “never greeting” thing sounds more like the employee being touchy than anything else. There are certain people who have rigid ideas of “politeness” and get fixated on perceived violations of that. Manager has been there longer than employee, so you should try to sort out what is really going on.

I had a manager who was very rude. Everyone knew it. It’s not something that can be hidden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone who can talk to him about this? He should know that he/the org is at risk of losing an employee over his attitude.

This.
Perhaps you could also think back or look into to other departures and consider whether the org has already left b/c of this manager.
I wonder how other people in this manager's group feel about his behavior, too. Perhaps they are also bothered but have learned to ignore or are quietly planning to leave.
I recommend telling employee that you'd like to monitor the situation and see what you can do but htat (1) employee will have to give it some time; (2) you'd like to plan on checking in regularly. Then you initiate regular followups. It's possible that the employee will settle in with the whole group and not be as bothered. Or it's possible that this employee is giving you a very useful warning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she too social? Maybe she needs to tone it down and focus more on work unless it’s her job to be social.

THIS is why we gotta stop blaming women. Wtf is ‘too social’ and why does that deserve or excuse a condescending manager? No. Be better.

You’ve never worked with anyone who didn’t get their work done because they were constantly socializing?

Manager is probably jealous because she’s making friends among the staff so quickly. Or she’s one of those extroverts who doesn’t understand introverts.

[Anonymous]

It is time for the organization to fund some sort of management training. You don't have to tell the manager that they are in trouble. Just say that the company (or you) wants to up their management game and attendance in the training is a requirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only way you can figure this out is by doing a 365 review. The “never greeting” thing sounds more like the employee being touchy than anything else. There are certain people who have rigid ideas of “politeness” and get fixated on perceived violations of that. Manager has been there longer than employee, so you should try to sort out what is really going on.

I had a manager who was very rude. Everyone knew it. It’s not something that can be hidden.

This sounds pretty black and white to me. Either they guy says hi/ greets or doesn't. He's missing a human element, it sounds like.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to do nothing. Don't greet them. Don't wave. Don't even look in their direction. Nothing. Co-workers aren't obligated to greet you and vise versa. I had a co-worker who would blatantly ignore my “Hello and Good Mornings” but spoke with everyone else. At first I thought she couldn't hear me but I soon came to realize that she could, she just didn't feel the need to speak to me. I just stopped speaking to her and I survived. From that experience I learned to not say anything to a person who won't speak back to me and I always make sure I make eye contact with a person before I say “Hello”. That way I know if I'm being ignored or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way you can figure this out is by doing a 365 review. The “never greeting” thing sounds more like the employee being touchy than anything else. There are certain people who have rigid ideas of “politeness” and get fixated on perceived violations of that. Manager has been there longer than employee, so you should try to sort out what is really going on.

I had a manager who was very rude. Everyone knew it. It’s not something that can be hidden.

This sounds pretty black and white to me. Either they guy says hi/ greets or doesn't. He's missing a human element, it sounds like.

It’d not black and white at all. The employee could be overly sensitive - like the manager was in the middle of something important and was distracted, one time, and now she’s on a crusade. It happens. In general I am suspicious of people fixated on the “rudeness” of others. If this manager is truly off-putting then OP should be able to find evidence of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way you can figure this out is by doing a 365 review. The “never greeting” thing sounds more like the employee being touchy than anything else. There are certain people who have rigid ideas of “politeness” and get fixated on perceived violations of that. Manager has been there longer than employee, so you should try to sort out what is really going on.

I had a manager who was very rude. Everyone knew it. It’s not something that can be hidden.

This sounds pretty black and white to me. Either they guy says hi/ greets or doesn't. He's missing a human element, it sounds like.

It’d not black and white at all. The employee could be overly sensitive - like the manager was in the middle of something important and was distracted, one time, and now she’s on a crusade. It happens. In general I am suspicious of people fixated on the “rudeness” of others. If this manager is truly off-putting then OP should be able to find evidence of that.

If this is always happening then the problem is the manager. People matter. You need to greet them. We teach this to small kids.

[Anonymous]

A direct conversation with the manager. No hiding. You are going to end up with a lawsuit. Why are you protecting the offender?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only way you can figure this out is by doing a 365 review. The “never greeting” thing sounds more like the employee being touchy than anything else. There are certain people who have rigid ideas of “politeness” and get fixated on perceived violations of that. Manager has been there longer than employee, so you should try to sort out what is really going on.

I had a manager who was very rude. Everyone knew it. It’s not something that can be hidden.

This sounds pretty black and white to me. Either they guy says hi/ greets or doesn't. He's missing a human element, it sounds like.

It’d not black and white at all. The employee could be overly sensitive - like the manager was in the middle of something important and was distracted, one time, and now she’s on a crusade. It happens. In general I am suspicious of people fixated on the “rudeness” of others. If this manager is truly off-putting then OP should be able to find evidence of that.

If this is always happening then the problem is the manager. People matter. You need to greet them. We teach this to small kids.

My take on what the OP is saying is that the manager never greets her. He mentioned on her first day; he didn't approach her and say "Hi Erica, I am Michael. We are going to be working together blah blah blah." and according to her, he still lacks the skills to greet her. He also mentioned that there were examples of him being harsh towards her in the first few weeks. It sounds like a lot is going on. One thing is for sure this employee isn't going to take his crap. She gave you a warning she's looking for a new job.

[Anonymous]

Is she really attractive and he's uncomfortable around her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she too social? Maybe she needs to tone it down and focus more on work unless it’s her job to be social.

THIS is why we gotta stop blaming women. Wtf is ‘too social’ and why does that deserve or excuse a condescending manager? No. Be better.

You’ve never worked with anyone who didn’t get their work done because they were constantly socializing?

Manager is probably jealous because she’s making friends among the staff so quickly. Or she’s one of those extroverts who doesn’t understand introverts.

Jesus. The ENTIRE reason the OP posted is because the employee who is unhappy is good and they need her.