What youth-HS sport was the best experience for your family?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, soccer in this area is toxic.

[Anonymous]

Summer swim. The community over years of both kids and parents. I feel like it’s how I’ve watched the kids of my neighborhood grow up.

[Anonymous]

Rec soccer is fine. I agree that summer swim is best though. My kids did CYO basketball with their parish and that was great also.

[Anonymous]

Soccer has been good for us. I hate summer swim team with a passion (and my kid has swam every A meet for years).

[Anonymous]

Swim is the worst

[Anonymous]

Summer swim= parents acting like it is the Olympics but it is a rec sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are still young too, but rec lacrosse has been great.

Could you share what league you’ve had a good experience with?

Falls Church

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Summer swim. The community over years of both kids and parents. I feel like it’s how I’ve watched the kids of my neighborhood grow up.

Have heard others say this too but swim team is such a clique at our pool. And the schedule is almost impossible for working parents unless you have a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are all great and all miserable.

This. My kids are now in college and post-college. Among the three of them, they ran cross-country, swam, and played baseball, tennis, soccer, basketball and lacrosse. Each kid played two of these sports in HS and one in college (D3). I do think all sports helped them develop resilience, an appreciation for team work, and good time-management skills. And, not incidentally, they made friends and had fun. OTOH, there were a lot of ugly moments with other parents and some with coaches, though this had its worst impact on my husband and myself as we had to deal with the parents (I'm including in this category my husband's experience as a rec league baseball coach for elementary school kids.) If I had to pick one sport that had the most positive impact, I would say summer swimming because our kids participated in this together and it's a lifetime sport. Second would be tennis because it's also a lifetime sport and because we still play together as a family as often as we can.

[Anonymous]

I come at this from two different perspectives: as a coach because I've coached many of my children's teams (flag football, basketball and lax mostly)(some at the rec level some higher levels) and as a parent.

As a parent, the best experiences are typically when the parents and kids are good and normal. That goes a long way for our family's experience. This is particularly true for other parents. You are going to be sitting on the sideline with these people for hours over long stretches of a season. It is better if they are engaging, flexible and try not to take themselves to seriously about this. Some times the parents are great, sometimes they aren't. If they are douchey or morons.

The other best experiences for my kids is when I see them being well-coached and I see the players (not just my kids) get better and develop their skill set in the sport they are playing. So a good experiences is amplified by a good coach. And I'll be honest, the best coaches are also the most competitive. It doesn't mean win at all costs but the coaches ability to raise up their players (at all talent levels) so they can compete against other teams that might be more talented. Doesn't mean they win but you can see their skills improved that also develops confidence that they might win a game against a better team. Competitive coaches will work with all their players to get them to improve and will work with kids do the little things. My son just finished a travel basketball season that I thought would go meh because most of the players coming back were from last year's team and it was an awful experience. But, there was a new coach and by the end of the season, I saw huge development in the players and it was a team not just 5 individuals. They lost in the championship game by 4 to a team that had beaten them by 20 and 25 points earlier in the season. I've seen my daughter be coached in softball by one particular guy and I could tell that he was just a sort of roll the ball out there kind of coach. You could tell when you compared my daughter's team to other teams in how they approached the game and how they just lined up they weren't well coached. It was very frustrating.

As a coach, the best experiences I've had are watching players develop and getting better. It is also with parents that understand I have the best intentions for their children. I tell parents and kids I am going to place them in positions to succeed and give them the tools to make sure they succeed when I ask them to do something. That doesn't mean every kid does the same things - like play quarterback or point guard - but they will play and be asked to do things that will put them outside of their comfort zone. Nothing drives me more nuts when I ask a kid to do something in a game and they say they don't want to do it. For example, in flag football, I try to get every kid (especially at the lower ages) to run the ball every game. One year I had a kid never want to run with the ball until 2nd to last game of the season. I asked him, he said yes and ran the entire field for a touchdown. He said "Coach, why didn't I get to run the ball earlier?" I just rolled my eyes.

And I'll be very honest, you typically have better experiences when you win. It is just more fun. Again, this isn't you have to win at all costs. But getting your head kicked in for a season or losing all of your games isn't really a lot of fun for anyone. It builds character but just losing uncompetitively for long periods isn't great for the "experience." And I'm sorry if I'm not conveying myself very well. I've coached rec games where I could have won by just playing my best players or just handing off the ball to the kid that is the best athlete in the league and just dominate teams. It also depends on the rules. Most leagues I coach are you automatically my the playoffs. In those leagues, everyone gets the same amount of playing time but in the playoffs, playing time isn't equal but everyone still plays. I explain this to parents at the beginning of every season and never had anyone complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I come at this from two different perspectives: as a coach because I've coached many of my children's teams (flag football, basketball and lax mostly)(some at the rec level some higher levels) and as a parent.

As a parent, the best experiences are typically when the parents and kids are good and normal. That goes a long way for our family's experience. This is particularly true for other parents. You are going to be sitting on the sideline with these people for hours over long stretches of a season. It is better if they are engaging, flexible and try not to take themselves to seriously about this. Some times the parents are great, sometimes they aren't. If they are douchey or morons.

The other best experiences for my kids is when I see them being well-coached and I see the players (not just my kids) get better and develop their skill set in the sport they are playing. So a good experiences is amplified by a good coach. And I'll be honest, the best coaches are also the most competitive. It doesn't mean win at all costs but the coaches ability to raise up their players (at all talent levels) so they can compete against other teams that might be more talented. Doesn't mean they win but you can see their skills improved that also develops confidence that they might win a game against a better team. Competitive coaches will work with all their players to get them to improve and will work with kids do the little things. My son just finished a travel basketball season that I thought would go meh because most of the players coming back were from last year's team and it was an awful experience. But, there was a new coach and by the end of the season, I saw huge development in the players and it was a team not just 5 individuals. They lost in the championship game by 4 to a team that had beaten them by 20 and 25 points earlier in the season. I've seen my daughter be coached in softball by one particular guy and I could tell that he was just a sort of roll the ball out there kind of coach. You could tell when you compared my daughter's team to other teams in how they approached the game and how they just lined up they weren't well coached. It was very frustrating.

As a coach, the best experiences I've had are watching players develop and getting better. It is also with parents that understand I have the best intentions for their children. I tell parents and kids I am going to place them in positions to succeed and give them the tools to make sure they succeed when I ask them to do something. That doesn't mean every kid does the same things - like play quarterback or point guard - but they will play and be asked to do things that will put them outside of their comfort zone. Nothing drives me more nuts when I ask a kid to do something in a game and they say they don't want to do it. For example, in flag football, I try to get every kid (especially at the lower ages) to run the ball every game. One year I had a kid never want to run with the ball until 2nd to last game of the season. I asked him, he said yes and ran the entire field for a touchdown. He said "Coach, why didn't I get to run the ball earlier?" I just rolled my eyes.

And I'll be very honest, you typically have better experiences when you win. It is just more fun. Again, this isn't you have to win at all costs. But getting your head kicked in for a season or losing all of your games isn't really a lot of fun for anyone. It builds character but just losing uncompetitively for long periods isn't great for the "experience." And I'm sorry if I'm not conveying myself very well. I've coached rec games where I could have won by just playing my best players or just handing off the ball to the kid that is the best athlete in the league and just dominate teams. It also depends on the rules. Most leagues I coach are you automatically my the playoffs. In those leagues, everyone gets the same amount of playing time but in the playoffs, playing time isn't equal but everyone still plays. I explain this to parents at the beginning of every season and never had anyone complain.

I know you have the best of intentions but I have to take issue with alot of what you said. You seem to be of the mind that as a youth coach you can make a difference. In reality, with such short one-off seasons, limited practice times and games, you really can't. Coaches don't develop players, players (with the help of their families) develop players, over multiple seasons.

I see youth coaches win and feel successful by doing all the wrong things for player development. Figuring out a way to get the better players on their team (carpool loophole). Heavily playing their best kids, or coming up with a gimmick play to score when all it does is limit important team concepts. In basketball this is typically press/zone defense, having the best kid handle the ball all the time, running pick and roll time after time for the best scorer while everyone watches and is told the rebound, guiding certain players to shoot less. Every sport has these little tricks that do nothing for and acutal limit player development.

The most important thing for a youth coach is this: Don't get in the way! Provide the framework and manage the practice and games, and then let the kids play and compete at the sport the right way. Wins or losses at the rec/youth level really don't matter (can't believe this has to be said) and a good coach will get that. I guarantee you that you aren't as good of a coach as you think you are. Otherwise, you wouldn't be a volunteer unpaid coach. That other coach you think that wasn't very good... there's very little separating the two of you, no matter how wide you think that gap is. Wins and losses come down to luck of the draw with the roster/players a team gets assigned (or that the dad coaches could finagle onto their time - you know who you are).

[Anonymous]

I don't know, 9:21, I kind of agree with the coach at 9:00.

I have three kids. Two are average athletes, one is quite good. The good one would agree with most of what the coach wrote. She truly understands the difference between when she has been well-coached and when she's survived a season where the coach is just herding cats. As time goes by, the tougher coaches are the ones she likes and respects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Swim is the worst

Very toxic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well it’s whatever your kid is interested in! In terms of community and socialization, dance has been amazing for my daughter. She’s with a large group of girls and they have the best time, it’s a big fun built-in friend network. Plus it’s great exercise, it’s drop off with minimal parent involvement except some weekend competitions in the spring. When high school comes along, the kids can join their high school dance team.

I would vote dance as well for our family. But honestly, it’s whatever works for the kid in question. I have three and they are all interested in different things and would answer your question differently!

[Anonymous]

Tackle Football. Hands down. Not even close.

Most tight knit, supportive, positive teammate.