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[quote=Anonymous]I come at this from two different perspectives: as a coach because I've coached many of my children's teams (flag football, basketball and lax mostly)(some at the rec level some higher levels) and as a parent.

As a parent, the best experiences are typically when the parents and kids are good and normal. That goes a long way for our family's experience. This is particularly true for other parents. You are going to be sitting on the sideline with these people for hours over long stretches of a season. It is better if they are engaging, flexible and try not to take themselves to seriously about this. Some times the parents are great, sometimes they aren't. If they are douchey or morons.

The other best experiences for my kids is when I see them being well-coached and I see the players (not just my kids) get better and develop their skill set in the sport they are playing. So a good experiences is amplified by a good coach. And I'll be honest, the best coaches are also the most competitive. It doesn't mean win at all costs but the coaches ability to raise up their players (at all talent levels) so they can compete against other teams that might be more talented. Doesn't mean they win but you can see their skills improved that also develops confidence that they might win a game against a better team. Competitive coaches will work with all their players to get them to improve and will work with kids do the little things. My son just finished a travel basketball season that I thought would go meh because most of the players coming back were from last year's team and it was an awful experience. But, there was a new coach and by the end of the season, I saw huge development in the players and it was a team not just 5 individuals. They lost in the championship game by 4 to a team that had beaten them by 20 and 25 points earlier in the season. I've seen my daughter be coached in softball by one particular guy and I could tell that he was just a sort of roll the ball out there kind of coach. You could tell when you compared my daughter's team to other teams in how they approached the game and how they just lined up they weren't well coached. It was very frustrating.

As a coach, the best experiences I've had are watching players develop and getting better. It is also with parents that understand I have the best intentions for their children. I tell parents and kids I am going to place them in positions to succeed and give them the tools to make sure they succeed when I ask them to do something. That doesn't mean every kid does the same things - like play quarterback or point guard - but they will play and be asked to do things that will put them outside of their comfort zone. Nothing drives me more nuts when I ask a kid to do something in a game and they say they don't want to do it. For example, in flag football, I try to get every kid (especially at the lower ages) to run the ball every game. One year I had a kid never want to run with the ball until 2nd to last game of the season. I asked him, he said yes and ran the entire field for a touchdown. He said "Coach, why didn't I get to run the ball earlier?" I just rolled my eyes.

And I'll be very honest, you typically have better experiences when you win. It is just more fun. Again, this isn't you have to win at all costs.  But getting your head kicked in for a season or losing all of your games isn't really a lot of fun for anyone. It builds character but just losing uncompetitively for long periods isn't great for the "experience." And I'm sorry if I'm not conveying myself very well. I've coached rec games where I could have won by just playing my best players or just handing off the ball to the kid that is the best athlete in the league and just dominate teams. It also depends on the rules. Most leagues I coach are you automatically my the playoffs. In those leagues, everyone gets the same amount of playing time but in the playoffs, playing time isn't equal but everyone still plays. I explain this to parents at the beginning of every season and never had anyone complain.

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