Your childhood memories of vacation, food, and going out to eat? Are you resentful?

[Anonymous]

My socio-economic level as an adult is lower than what it was growing up. Growing up, we didn't go out much because, as a PP said, my parents were children of the Depression. Even when family would visit me here in DC, no one expected me to take off work (Work is important! Don't want to do anything to get on your boss' radar by taking too much time off!) and they were perfectly fine with eating at home and taking public transportation.

My DH's family were South American and wealthy in their country of origin. They are the opposite of my family and believe in big gestures, big meals at restaurants and lots of attention.

Our kids are being raised more in my family tradition. We usually always pack a lunch/snack and if we do eat out, don't order drinks other than water unless it's a special occasion. We also have 'family financial goals'. For instance, the kids wanted to go to Kings Dominion. We researched the cost of tickets, looked for discounts determined what meals would cost. We then had them make decisions like, we could order pizza or put the money we'd spend on pizza in the Kings Dominion jar. Once we had enough money, we then discussed food again. We could eat in the park or pack food and use the money we saved on food for something fun. The kids decided to pack food and then pay for face painting.

The kids are now older teens/young adults. If they're resentful of how economical we've had to be, they've not shown it. Yeah, more money would be nice but everything has its trade offs. If they want more money, they should choose professions that pay more.

[Anonymous]

As a kid, you see what other people have and you do wonder why you don't have it, you know?

I lived in a pretty wealthy town growing up and ALL my friends had bigger houses than me - 5 brs vs a 3 br. Now that I am an adut, I understand why my parents only got a 3 br - because they wanted a small family (I'm an only child). Plus, they spent their money on other things such as a yearly monthlong trip to California (from New England) to see extended family and do activities there.

But when I was growing up, I continuously was sad about how my house was so much smaller and less nice than everyone else. And I think that's pretty normal if you feel you are in a lower SES bracket than others as a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My aunt always felt resentful that we only went out to eat once to a nice restaurant. And maybe ordered pizza out. We cooked the rest of the time. It didn't feel like a vacation to her.

Your aunt sounds like an incredibly ungrateful brat. I hope her sense of entitlement wore off as she got older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I saw something recently, an article that mentioned someone resenting that their parents never took them out and always brought food from home when they went on vacations.

I’ve been on here about 13/14 years now and see that people still do bring foods to cook while on vacations. I never traveled as a child but I’ve done this as an adult to my own children never realizing this can be a negative memory. Not for every meal but I have taken things like oatmeal, cereal for quick breakfasts in the hotel room.

I did not go out to eat often as a child either, we had little money, single mom household and I loved every second and have fond memories of those times. I could count them on one hand but they were throughly appreciated. I even remember what I ordered.

I'd play devil's advocate here and say, it depends. If you're camping in the woods, it's one thing. If you're staying in a hotel on the beach that doesn't include breakfast, it might make sense to eat cereal you brought from home in your room just to save yourself the trouble of going back and forth to eat the very same cereal. But if you're traveling to Rome and insist on eating granola bars you hauled from back home.. well, that's downright strange.

Context always counts.

[Anonymous]

You know OP - it is different now. We have more fast/healthy options, than in past generations - which historically only really had fast food (McDonald's) or high end fancy restaurants, that my family would only eat at for special occasions (birthdays or anniversaries only).

Now, it is different. We have so many options in between! So, while "eating out" might be a "huge splurge" to the Depression Generation, eating out is really no big deal to the current generation.

I noticed this with my foodie nephews and nieces. They flat out boycott eating Grammy's leftovers, and make reservations whenever possible. Grammy, from the Depression era, is a little horrified - but what can she do? I do feel bad that FIL never really took MIL on dates, but that was well before me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I saw something recently, an article that mentioned someone resenting that their parents never took them out and always brought food from home when they went on vacations.

I’ve been on here about 13/14 years now and see that people still do bring foods to cook while on vacations. I never traveled as a child but I’ve done this as an adult to my own children never realizing this can be a negative memory. Not for every meal but I have taken things like oatmeal, cereal for quick breakfasts in the hotel room.

I did not go out to eat often as a child either, we had little money, single mom household and I loved every second and have fond memories of those times. I could count them on one hand but they were throughly appreciated. I even remember what I ordered.

I'd play devil's advocate here and say, it depends. If you're camping in the woods, it's one thing. If you're staying in a hotel on the beach that doesn't include breakfast, it might make sense to eat cereal you brought from home in your room just to save yourself the trouble of going back and forth to eat the very same cereal. But if you're traveling to Rome and insist on eating granola bars you hauled from back home.. well, that's downright strange.

Context always counts.

x100000

As long as you are not trying to control what other adults eat or do not eat, then NBD.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the 60's/70's. Our vacations were often camping trips. We rarely went out to dinner - children weren't typically in restaurants in those days. McDonalds was a treat, and I don't think I went to one until I was a tween or teen. Whenever we did a car trip we always packed a lunch.

At the time it seemed normal, although I did have rich friends who got to do fancier vacations. I was excited when I was on my own that I could afford to go to McDonald's at the highway rest stops. The irony is that I now usually pack a lunch because I don't like the unhealthy food choices at rest stops.

My kids are very privileged - lots of travel/international travel/ski trips in the west and Europe, etc. But we often rent houses or Airbnb's and do at least some cooking at home. Plus we have a beach house where we spend time and of course do a lot of our own cooking there. Pretty sure they don't feel like it is a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a kid, you see what other people have and you do wonder why you don't have it, you know?

I lived in a pretty wealthy town growing up and ALL my friends had bigger houses than me - 5 brs vs a 3 br. Now that I am an adut, I understand why my parents only got a 3 br - because they wanted a small family (I'm an only child). Plus, they spent their money on other things such as a yearly monthlong trip to California (from New England) to see extended family and do activities there.

But when I was growing up, I continuously was sad about how my house was so much smaller and less nice than everyone else. And I think that's pretty normal if you feel you are in a lower SES bracket than others as a child.

Are you female? I feel like only girls care about this / house size and boys don’t.

[Anonymous]

We are out once a week, always at the same neighborhood ethnic place and almost always ordered the same things. Once a year we went out for a Michelin star type meal.

[Anonymous]

We had 9 kids in the family. We never went out to eat as a family and there were no vacations. I am very wealthy now and travel a lot + eat out a lot. I thank God every day for my good fortune. I have one kid who has been everywhere. She had a great childhood. I am glad not to be poor or on a buget.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. My parents didn’t make much money (they didn’t go to college) but I always had enough. Vacations and dinners out were sparse. While obviously it would have been nice to do those things I certainly don’t resent them. They worked very hard and took good care of us.

[Anonymous]

This is going to depend on the significance you put on food and how much you enjoy food.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. We went out to eat a small handful of times each year and only a twice in the year was a really fancy restaurant to us at the time - Red Lobster. I have nothing but fond memories of those dinners. I also remember my orders.

Vacations were camping or a cabin where we cooked all of the food. We sometimes went to McDs once on the trip.

I think it was better. No resentment at all. My kids have grown up with a very different life where we live comfortably and they think nothing of asking for expensive take out multiple times per week. I don’t always get it but my point is eating out isn’t a treat for them.

[Anonymous]

Oh that’s crazy talk. I never cook on vacation….because I’m on vacation….! But I doubt kids care about eating at home v restaurants. In fact they probably prefer to stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is going to depend on the significance you put on food and how much you enjoy food.

+1

My friends whose parents were not such great cooks, eat a lot of cereal and chips, as a result.