My sister is having her best friend be called aunt

[Anonymous]

The friend being called 'aunt' doesn't detract from you in any way. What is important is the relationship you choose to build with the child. Just because you're aunt does not guarantee the child will view you as more important in their life. And if the friend is more present and helpful in your sister's life, the child will eventually see that.

In the end, it's about who shows up and is engaged, not the title. Whining to your sister isn't something a supportive person does.

[Anonymous]

You're wildly exaggerating the cultural aspect of this, OP.
YOU want aunts to be just biological aunts. Just admit it.

It's your sister that gets to make this choice, because it's her child. The friend didn't choose anything here. And you don't get to choose either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 28 almost 29 years old with 2 older sisters. My oldest sister has 2 children of her own and my other sister is pregnant with her first. In our culture we are very big on only actual aunts and uncles being called aunt and uncle. My sister's very best friend she has since 3rd grade she is going to have her child call her aunt. I am a little hurt by this because I feel like it takes away and waters down the people who are actually the child's aunt. I addressed this with my sister and she said I'm being ridiculous as it's not like she is having every friend be called aunt and it's just her very best friend that she has been friends with for 20+ years. It's still a friend and not an aunt.

Am I being irrational?

What culture is very big on only actual aunts and uncles being called aunt and uncle? This is new to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those saying MYOB. This is my sister don't I have a right to express my feelings to my own sister? Shouldn't my feelings as her sister trump the feelings of her friend?

Your feelings don’t trump your sister’s feelings about her own child. Is the friend demanding to be called aunt? I doubt it. Your sister has decided this woman is an aunt to her child. Your feelings are entirely irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. With aunts and uncles it's the more the merrier.

[Anonymous]

You must not be South Asian bc EVERYONE is an Auntie or Uncle. Which is really nice.

[Anonymous]

The kids don’t care about this. My mom had a friend we called Auntie _____ growing up. As a kid, it’s just what I called her and I never really thought about it. I knew she wasn’t my actual aunt. I think I was in high school or something when it sunk in that I was calling her aunt and that it wasn’t actually just part of her whole name. Dumb sounding, I know, but as a child I just didn’t think about it and didn’t care at all. I never had anymore of a special relationship with her than anyone else. You’re definitely overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those saying MYOB. This is my sister don't I have a right to express my feelings to my own sister? Shouldn't my feelings as her sister trump the feelings of her friend?

How old is your sister. How long has she known you vs. How long has she known her friend? How close are you/ how close are they? She’s friend from a culture where “auntie” is a common honorarium, aiwhr nothing to do with blood?

I’m guessing yiu cont have kids (this isn’t meant as an insult, but as a point of differing opinion). I want my child to be surrounded by people that love them and have their back, no matter the bloodline. My “family or origin” or whatever you want to call them doesn’t get precedence, no matter their Title.

And no, your feelings don’t get to trump anyone, especially not your sister, whose place it is to decide who to surround her child and family with. You’re still this child’s aunt, so what exactly are you so p**y about? That it’s not an exclusive club? That’s for the child to benefit from, not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ultimately, the title will mean absolutely nothing in terms of your relationship with your niece/nephew. You can be a blood-relative aunt and have virtually no relationship if you do not make the effort, and you can have a very close aunt-like relationship with a friend's child if you do make the effort. Put your energy into the relationship rather than the title.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 28 almost 29 years old with 2 older sisters. My oldest sister has 2 children of her own and my other sister is pregnant with her first. In our culture we are very big on only actual aunts and uncles being called aunt and uncle. My sister's very best friend she has since 3rd grade she is going to have her child call her aunt. I am a little hurt by this because I feel like it takes away and waters down the people who are actually the child's aunt. I addressed this with my sister and she said I'm being ridiculous as it's not like she is having every friend be called aunt and it's just her very best friend that she has been friends with for 20+ years. It's still a friend and not an aunt.

Am I being irrational?

What culture is very big on only actual aunts and uncles being called aunt and uncle? This is new to me.

+1

I’m totally whit Canadian, here since the 1600s. Our family always referred to family friends as Aunt and Uncle. My DH, a new immigrant from elsewhere does the same. Likewise our Asian, Caribbean, African, and many South American Friends.

[Anonymous]

Oh sheesh. Some future kid calling a good friend of their mom aunt doesn’t make you less of a bio aunt. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must not be South Asian bc EVERYONE is an Auntie or Uncle. Which is really nice.

But only in name. They are not aunts and uncles like you want to pretend them to be.

[Anonymous]

Lots of poster point out that their culture does this. They should respect other cultures that do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There may be some legal implications to the name. My brothers former girlfriends kid called my brother Dad when they were a little kid. After he died, the adult kid filed a claim on his estate and got a big chunk of his money.

You are leaving out a lot of context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To those saying MYOB. This is my sister don't I have a right to express my feelings to my own sister? Shouldn't my feelings as her sister trump the feelings of her friend?

I mean this more gently than it will sound at first reading, but “aunt” is a word describing your relationship to the child; it’s not some honor being bestowed upon you. You didn’t accomplish anything to earn this title. Your sister wants as many loving, supportive adults in her baby’s life as possible. Her friend isn’t a replacement for you, she’s an addition. Don’t be threatened; there aren’t a finite number of people the baby can bond with and love.