Feeling “heavy” when you are at a healthy weight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what the answer is, but I relate. I feel the most attractive at about 5-10 pounds lighter than my body's preferred weight. At the lower weight I can't even look at a carb, I'm hungry all the time, my hair is thin, but I just don't like how I look with a bit more weight, even though it is within the normal range.

+1. Currently at "normal" BMI and my face looks a little gaunt but I'd still like to lose. Why do I have to lose it from my face?? I want to feel good in my clothes.

OP: To add to this, I went to the doctor for a routine check and mentioned I wanted to lose weight, so she got me information to do so. I told my mom I wanted to lose the baby weight and she gave me some tips. I told my friend and she gave me some supplements to aid in weight loss. And no one at any point was like, well you’re at a totally normal, healthy weight so you shouldn’t be losing. Isn’t that weird? I feel like everyone kind of agrees it’s better to be thinner.

True but they all mean aesthetically.

[Anonymous]

I feel heavy at 5' 4" and 116, but my doctor said that I should gain weight. I think my problem is lack of fitness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is your diet and lifestyle like? If you are restricting and then overeating trying to lose weight, you have an answer. If you overeating and often eating past full, you have an answer.

If you are enjoying food, eating healthy amounts, indulging sometimes but not too often. And you are where you are. You've found where you should be and that's great.

I mostly restrict and then overeat, because I’m hungry! That’s what prompted this post. Like maybe women in history were 5’4” and 130 and that was normal and healthy and my eyes are just not adjusting.

Yes, of course women in history have been healthy at your weight and height (and sexy and happy and everything else).

But, you don't know your body's set point when you are in this kind of cycle. And, its really not a fun cycle for you going between diet/hungry, sooo hungry, out of control eating, feeling full and bad. It's a really difficult pattern to break but give yourself a month. Eat when you are hungry and best you can stop when you are full. At the very least, you will be happier and in no different place than the place you are in now. (I'd be shocked if you gain weight.) You might find you lost a bit, IF, your body is truly a 125 body. But you are young enough to reset and find a happier healthier way to live.

[Anonymous]

I get it. I’m 5’8” and currently 150. It’s fine, I guess? I’m healthy and I’m very strong. But my body just felt better at 135, which is where I was until a few years ago. I love to climb, bike, hike, practice yoga… and I feel like all that is better for me and easier on my body at a lower weight. But at 50, I have to fight tooth and nail to even get near 145.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what the answer is, but I relate. I feel the most attractive at about 5-10 pounds lighter than my body's preferred weight. At the lower weight I can't even look at a carb, I'm hungry all the time, my hair is thin, but I just don't like how I look with a bit more weight, even though it is within the normal range.

+1. Currently at "normal" BMI and my face looks a little gaunt but I'd still like to lose. Why do I have to lose it from my face?? I want to feel good in my clothes.

OP: To add to this, I went to the doctor for a routine check and mentioned I wanted to lose weight, so she got me information to do so. I told my mom I wanted to lose the baby weight and she gave me some tips. I told my friend and she gave me some supplements to aid in weight loss. And no one at any point was like, well you’re at a totally normal, healthy weight so you shouldn’t be losing. Isn’t that weird? I feel like everyone kind of agrees it’s better to be thinner.

The original PP you were replying to here... It's just acceptable in our society to always want to be thinner up until the point you're basically hospitalized. Even celebrities who have acknowledged struggling with ED and who are extremely thin (unhealthy) get praised for their appearance. It's really hard when so many external signals validate and contribute to our aesthetic preferences but they make us miserable. I have found therapy to be somewhat helpful, I also have found focusing on what my body can do and having athletic/performance goals to be a good mind shift. I actually became a faster marathoner when I let myself eat more during my last training cycle, even though I gained weight.

This is probably not popular but I don't ever see myself being body positive or really loving my body at a heavier weight, and honestly I don't want to have it be a goal to love jiggles and curves (sorry). I can wrap my head around the idea of body neutrality and work towards peace with my body at a healthy weight as a goal, and that's good enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what the answer is, but I relate. I feel the most attractive at about 5-10 pounds lighter than my body's preferred weight. At the lower weight I can't even look at a carb, I'm hungry all the time, my hair is thin, but I just don't like how I look with a bit more weight, even though it is within the normal range.

+1. Currently at "normal" BMI and my face looks a little gaunt but I'd still like to lose. Why do I have to lose it from my face?? I want to feel good in my clothes.

OP: To add to this, I went to the doctor for a routine check and mentioned I wanted to lose weight, so she got me information to do so. I told my mom I wanted to lose the baby weight and she gave me some tips. I told my friend and she gave me some supplements to aid in weight loss. And no one at any point was like, well you’re at a totally normal, healthy weight so you shouldn’t be losing. Isn’t that weird? I feel like everyone kind of agrees it’s better to be thinner.

If it helps, I can be that person for you. You sound to be at a totally normal healthy weight and don't need to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what the answer is, but I relate. I feel the most attractive at about 5-10 pounds lighter than my body's preferred weight. At the lower weight I can't even look at a carb, I'm hungry all the time, my hair is thin, but I just don't like how I look with a bit more weight, even though it is within the normal range.

+1. Currently at "normal" BMI and my face looks a little gaunt but I'd still like to lose. Why do I have to lose it from my face?? I want to feel good in my clothes.

OP: To add to this, I went to the doctor for a routine check and mentioned I wanted to lose weight, so she got me information to do so. I told my mom I wanted to lose the baby weight and she gave me some tips. I told my friend and she gave me some supplements to aid in weight loss. And no one at any point was like, well you’re at a totally normal, healthy weight so you shouldn’t be losing. Isn’t that weird? I feel like everyone kind of agrees it’s better to be thinner.

The original PP you were replying to here... It's just acceptable in our society to always want to be thinner up until the point you're basically hospitalized. Even celebrities who have acknowledged struggling with ED and who are extremely thin (unhealthy) get praised for their appearance. It's really hard when so many external signals validate and contribute to our aesthetic preferences but they make us miserable. I have found therapy to be somewhat helpful, I also have found focusing on what my body can do and having athletic/performance goals to be a good mind shift. I actually became a faster marathoner when I let myself eat more during my last training cycle, even though I gained weight.

This is probably not popular but I don't ever see myself being body positive or really loving my body at a heavier weight, and honestly I don't want to have it be a goal to love jiggles and curves (sorry). I can wrap my head around the idea of body neutrality and work towards peace with my body at a healthy weight as a goal, and that's good enough for me.

This is all fine and dandy, as long as you keep your attitudes to yourself and don’t project your own issues on others. This is my issue with those who let societal aesthetic preferences influence them, and they then perpetuate bias against those who are not skinny or striving to be.

[Anonymous]

I was you, felt same way. In reality, we were stick thin before but body dysmorphic and just maybe less cut than we should've been. And at 130 lbs. Your size is great. Now I gained 20 covid pounds and I am chubby.

[Anonymous]

I am 5’6” and at 130 I would look like death. At 110 I would be literally dead as that would leave me with no fat at all. Are you skinny fat, OP? Maybe instead of obsessing about the number of the scale, try to improve your body composition by lifting some weights and properly fueling your body? You won’t be lighter but you might very well end up smaller.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel heavy at 5' 4" and 116, but my doctor said that I should gain weight. I think my problem is lack of fitness.

Agree it’s about fitness.

I’m 5’4 and 125 and feel and look great. I can wear a bikini in my early forties. But I do work out (barre and running) so I think it’s more about muscle and tone.

If I were 110 pounds, I would look like I need to be hospitalized. OP I think you were underweight at 26 and comparing yourself against a standard that couldn’t be maintained. I was about 115 at 26, but I have three kids years later and frankly am in better shape. Because again it’s about fitness not the weight.

[Anonymous]

It also depends on the size of your frame. I'm 5'11" and 158 and that's too heavy for me. That's more than I weighed right before I gave birth. I have a small frame and feel best at 145 to 150. In my 20s, I was 125 and ate whatever I wanted. Now at 62, not so much, those were the days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what the answer is, but I relate. I feel the most attractive at about 5-10 pounds lighter than my body's preferred weight. At the lower weight I can't even look at a carb, I'm hungry all the time, my hair is thin, but I just don't like how I look with a bit more weight, even though it is within the normal range.

+1. Currently at "normal" BMI and my face looks a little gaunt but I'd still like to lose. Why do I have to lose it from my face?? I want to feel good in my clothes.

OP: To add to this, I went to the doctor for a routine check and mentioned I wanted to lose weight, so she got me information to do so. I told my mom I wanted to lose the baby weight and she gave me some tips. I told my friend and she gave me some supplements to aid in weight loss. And no one at any point was like, well you’re at a totally normal, healthy weight so you shouldn’t be losing. Isn’t that weird? I feel like everyone kind of agrees it’s better to be thinner.

How do you feel in your current body? Are you physically able to conduct your business (ie, child care, work, household duties)? Do you sleep well? Are you as fit (meaning not running out of breath doing activities)? If you feel healthy and strong, why are you asking for weight loss tips? Fwiw, I'm 5'7 and currently 150. My fighting weight is 135 but I feel strong, fit and energetic right now so have no motivation to diet. Thin arms or legs that don't jiggle aren't motivators for me. Feeling strong is.

[Anonymous]

I remember when I went from skinny in my 20s to normal/healthy after gaining 20 or so I felt really fat. Then I gained even more post-baby and looking back at those pictures and think how good I looked and wish I could just get back to the normal/healthy weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 5’6” and at 130 I would look like death. At 110 I would be literally dead as that would leave me with no fat at all. Are you skinny fat, OP? Maybe instead of obsessing about the number of the scale, try to improve your body composition by lifting some weights and properly fueling your body? You won’t be lighter but you might very well end up smaller.

This is interesting to me, because I’m 5’6” and currently 125, but still have a belly pooch and abs are not defined. The rest of my muscles are finally making an appearance though! I’ve been working on my lifting for almost two years now and just seeing progress now. Anyways, I definitely still have fat on me and do not look like death, so this just goes to show that some of it is about the size of your frame and body composition, where you store fat (face vs belly), etc.

[Anonymous]

I’m 5’8 but 150 and I look better than when I was 135 in my 20s getting married. Mainly because I have lifted weights and strength train and I am more defined. Before I weighed less but had more far of that makes sense?