Would you still go to a specific church if...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not tithing to a church that tells me a that a significant portion of my life is a sin, especially when other churches are welcoming

Let's take the $$$ out of it.

If a religious leader in your current church were to challenge some significant aspect of your life, and had a good explanation for why, would you listen and consider what they're saying? He or she will be fine if you withhold tithing while you do your thinking.

Or would you just head straight for the door?

Not pp, but I suppose it would depend on whether it was something that I could at least somewhat control. My sex, gender, skin color, place of birth? No, I'm not going to stay if you tell me those were unwelcome characteristics or having them made me a bad person.

My actions? I hope I would pause long enough to consider what they are saying.

Having wrestled with some questions, for me personally, a church that tells me I'm a bad person for donating to Planned Parenthood and supporting women who want help would probably not be a place where I could be comfortable. A church that advises against premarital sex, maybe I'll stay and listen. There are thoughtful arguments to be made for and against. But if they kick out or shun anyone who has sex before marriage, I don't think I'll stay.

I also have trouble staying in a church where many people disagree with the teachings but stay anyway. I get it, too, because I've been tempted to overlook some aspect of the teaching because I love the music and ritual. But ultimately it felt morality inconsistent enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

Episcopalians would love to have you and we have plenty of ritual and traditional music.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not tithing to a church that tells me a that a significant portion of my life is a sin, especially when other churches are welcoming

Let's take the $$$ out of it.

If a religious leader in your current church were to challenge some significant aspect of your life, and had a good explanation for why, would you listen and consider what they're saying? He or she will be fine if you withhold tithing while you do your thinking.

Or would you just head straight for the door?

Not pp, but I suppose it would depend on whether it was something that I could at least somewhat control. My sex, gender, skin color, place of birth? No, I'm not going to stay if you tell me those were unwelcome characteristics or having them made me a bad person.

My actions? I hope I would pause long enough to consider what they are saying.

Having wrestled with some questions, for me personally, a church that tells me I'm a bad person for donating to Planned Parenthood and supporting women who want help would probably not be a place where I could be comfortable. A church that advises against premarital sex, maybe I'll stay and listen. There are thoughtful arguments to be made for and against. But if they kick out or shun anyone who has sex before marriage, I don't think I'll stay.

I also have trouble staying in a church where many people disagree with the teachings but stay anyway. I get it, too, because I've been tempted to overlook some aspect of the teaching because I love the music and ritual. But ultimately it felt morality inconsistent enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

Episcopalians would love to have you and we have plenty of ritual and traditional music.

Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not tithing to a church that tells me a that a significant portion of my life is a sin, especially when other churches are welcoming

Let's take the $$$ out of it.

If a religious leader in your current church were to challenge some significant aspect of your life, and had a good explanation for why, would you listen and consider what they're saying? He or she will be fine if you withhold tithing while you do your thinking.

Or would you just head straight for the door?

Not pp, but I suppose it would depend on whether it was something that I could at least somewhat control. My sex, gender, skin color, place of birth? No, I'm not going to stay if you tell me those were unwelcome characteristics or having them made me a bad person.

My actions? I hope I would pause long enough to consider what they are saying.

Having wrestled with some questions, for me personally, a church that tells me I'm a bad person for donating to Planned Parenthood and supporting women who want help would probably not be a place where I could be comfortable. A church that advises against premarital sex, maybe I'll stay and listen. There are thoughtful arguments to be made for and against. But if they kick out or shun anyone who has sex before marriage, I don't think I'll stay.

I also have trouble staying in a church where many people disagree with the teachings but stay anyway. I get it, too, because I've been tempted to overlook some aspect of the teaching because I love the music and ritual. But ultimately it felt morality inconsistent enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

Episcopalians would love to have you and we have plenty of ritual and traditional music.

Only if you're not conservative.

[Anonymous]

If it were something I accepted about myself and felt like God accepted, I would leave. If it were something I believed was sinful (there are plenty of sins I'm still working on within myself), I might stay depending on how the church supported people who were working on becoming less sinful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:…you knew you wouldn't be welcome if leadership knew you were gay, Republican, divorced, whatever? Being vague on purpose because I'm curious in general how people would react, not about our specific situation.

of course notwhy would anyone do this???

NO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting question. I do want a church that challenges me to reexamine my beliefs (and my life, for that matter). To me, that's what a church is for -- if I just want to be told I'm perfect and wonderful, I can call my mom.

So I guess the question is, if a church leader tells me "You're wrong to do X, or to believe Y," my question would be "Well, why? Where does that come from?" It's at least possible that they're right and I'm wrong -- not certain, of course, but possible. So I should at least give it some thought and research.

Then again, to be honest, sometimes if somebody were to tell me "You're wrong to do X," my answer would have to be "Yeah, I know."

I'm not tithing to a church that tells me a that a significant portion of my life is a sin, especially when other churches are welcoming

Tbh, everyone is a sinner. Do you not want to hear you are a sinner? We all are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, everyone is a sinner. Do you not want to hear you are a sinner? We all are.

It's easy to say "all have sinned," and realize that includes me. There's lots of company, at least. Where the rubber hits the road is when someone invites you to consider the possibility that some specific thing you do may be sinful.

I want a church that will do that for me. And be able to explain why, so I can decide if they're right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not tithing to a church that tells me a that a significant portion of my life is a sin, especially when other churches are welcoming

Let's take the $$$ out of it.

If a religious leader in your current church were to challenge some significant aspect of your life, and had a good explanation for why, would you listen and consider what they're saying? He or she will be fine if you withhold tithing while you do your thinking.

Or would you just head straight for the door?

Door

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not tithing to a church that tells me a that a significant portion of my life is a sin, especially when other churches are welcoming

Let's take the $$$ out of it.

If a religious leader in your current church were to challenge some significant aspect of your life, and had a good explanation for why, would you listen and consider what they're saying? He or she will be fine if you withhold tithing while you do your thinking.

Or would you just head straight for the door?

Door

Why go to church, then? Do you think you're perfect? That sounds snarky, and I don't mean it to be - I'm honestly curious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, everyone is a sinner. Do you not want to hear you are a sinner? We all are.

It's easy to say "all have sinned," and realize that includes me. There's lots of company, at least. Where the rubber hits the road is when someone invites you to consider the possibility that some specific thing you do may be sinful.

I want a church that will do that for me. And be able to explain why, so I can decide if they're right.

So you want to decide what is a sin, or what is not a sin, independent of the Word of God?

[Anonymous]

I felt kicked out of my much loved church for not being woke enough. A new pastor went on a tear making every sermon about politics and making it clear that there was only one “right way” to see the world.

I struggled with the decision to go since I wondered if I should use this as a “growth” and change opportunity. I decided I couldn’t grow spiritually in an environment where worldly and divisive issues were at the fore. It made me very sad to leave.

[Anonymous]

nope

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, everyone is a sinner. Do you not want to hear you are a sinner? We all are.

It's easy to say "all have sinned," and realize that includes me. There's lots of company, at least. Where the rubber hits the road is when someone invites you to consider the possibility that some specific thing you do may be sinful.

I want a church that will do that for me. And be able to explain why, so I can decide if they're right.

So you want to decide what is a sin, or what is not a sin, independent of the Word of God?

No, not at all. But I do want to determine whether somebody else's understanding of the Word of God is correct. You might not believe this, but not everything that somebody tell you is always true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, everyone is a sinner. Do you not want to hear you are a sinner? We all are.

It's easy to say "all have sinned," and realize that includes me. There's lots of company, at least. Where the rubber hits the road is when someone invites you to consider the possibility that some specific thing you do may be sinful.

I want a church that will do that for me. And be able to explain why, so I can decide if they're right.

So you want to decide what is a sin, or what is not a sin, independent of the Word of God?

No, not at all. But I do want to determine whether somebody else's understanding of the Word of God is correct. You might not believe this, but not everything that somebody tell you is always true.

The word of God doesn’t change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tbh, everyone is a sinner. Do you not want to hear you are a sinner? We all are.

It's easy to say "all have sinned," and realize that includes me. There's lots of company, at least. Where the rubber hits the road is when someone invites you to consider the possibility that some specific thing you do may be sinful.

I want a church that will do that for me. And be able to explain why, so I can decide if they're right.

So you want to decide what is a sin, or what is not a sin, independent of the Word of God?

No, not at all. But I do want to determine whether somebody else's understanding of the Word of God is correct. You might not believe this, but not everything that somebody tell you is always true.

The word of God doesn’t change.

I feel like PP meant they wanted to be challenged, not catered to.