How to express Valentine’s Day is important?

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[Post New]02/12/2023 05:29
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:New relationship and this is our first V day. How do I politely let my boyfriend know that it’s important to me that he make a big deal about Valentine’s Day?


By telling him that you’re looking forward to making a big deal about Valentine’s Day? What have you planned already to celebrate him? If you give him an idea of what you’ve planned for him, then he had a chance to think of how you want him to reciprocate.
[Post New]02/12/2023 05:34
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Anonymous
What are you doing for him for Valentines Day?

DH and I don’t really celebrate it consistently, but once every three or four years one of us will make the effort to cook a nice meal or buy a box of chocolates. It’s just as likely to be me as him.
[Post New]02/12/2023 05:38
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to make a big deal out of a Hallmark holiday?


This. If all holidays are this important to you, even the fake ones, he will run for the hills
[Post New]02/12/2023 05:39
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Anonymous
Perfect sht test, OP. Hope you’ve found the simp you deserve.
[Post New]02/12/2023 06:11
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Anonymous
The fact that you’re not doing something on “the day” helps.

I’m a Valentine’s Day fan as well, for what it’s worth, but in a new relationship you can’t expect him to guess that. So ask— what day should we go out since Valentines is out? Would you like to exchange gifts at home (always better IMO)? And then he’ll have a sense that you’re not looking for grocery store carnations.
[Post New]02/12/2023 06:16
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just generally a holiday person. I know everyone’s not like this and I don’t judge those who are not. It’s something that helps to make me feel appreciated in a relationship. Sometimes it’s easy to take your partner for granted and holidays are a built in reminder to replenish things. I want him to know how to love me the way i like and vice versa.

Just Tell him this. And then tell him you don’t care about the actual day so he’ll have time to think of something.
[Post New]02/12/2023 06:41
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Anonymous
It blows my mind how many supposedly independent grown-ass people expect the red-carpet treatment on VD and their anniversary, with almost zero reciprocity. Remember VD in elementary school? It was not just a one-way street. The best way to express that the day is important is to treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Used to be a popular concept called the Golden Rule.
[Post New]02/12/2023 06:55
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to make a big deal out of a Hallmark holiday?


ALL holidays are made up. Why shouldn’t she make a big deal about it? She likes it.
[Post New]02/12/2023 06:56
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It blows my mind how many supposedly independent grown-ass people expect the red-carpet treatment on VD and their anniversary, with almost zero reciprocity. Remember VD in elementary school? It was not just a one-way street. The best way to express that the day is important is to treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Used to be a popular concept called the Golden Rule.


Where did OP indicate it would be a one way street? How do you know if she has not already bought gifts for him?
[Post New]02/12/2023 07:47
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m just generally a holiday person. I know everyone’s not like this and I don’t judge those who are not. It’s something that helps to make me feel appreciated in a relationship. Sometimes it’s easy to take your partner for granted and holidays are a built in reminder to replenish things. I want him to know how to love me the way i like and vice versa.

Just Tell him this. And then tell him you don’t care about the actual day so he’ll have time to think of something.


Agree, this isn’t the time to beat around the bush. You need to be clear and direct about what holidays in general meant to you. Don’t give hints, don’t make it just about Valentine’s Day. I’m assuming an anniversary or birthday would also be very important to you as well, so he should know this.
[Post New]02/12/2023 07:48
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Anonymous
You should have had the 'love languages' talk.
[Post New]02/12/2023 07:56
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Anonymous
As in, you want HIM to make a big deal about it? If it’s important to you, take him out for a nice meal, etc. etc.

You’re *asking* for relationship dysfunction, OP.
[Post New]02/12/2023 08:01
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It blows my mind how many supposedly independent grown-ass people expect the red-carpet treatment on VD and their anniversary, with almost zero reciprocity. Remember VD in elementary school? It was not just a one-way street. The best way to express that the day is important is to treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Used to be a popular concept called the Golden Rule.


Yeah imagine if two entire days out of 365 people made a really, really big deal out of the person who will, for example, see them through chemo in my parents case or face tragedy and adversity with them. Literally the most “VIP” in their lives. Sorry you don’t think your partner is worth a red carpet even two days a year, I feel for him or her.
[Post New]02/12/2023 08:17
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It blows my mind how many supposedly independent grown-ass people expect the red-carpet treatment on VD and their anniversary, with almost zero reciprocity. Remember VD in elementary school? It was not just a one-way street. The best way to express that the day is important is to treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Used to be a popular concept called the Golden Rule.


Yeah imagine if two entire days out of 365 people made a really, really big deal out of the person who will, for example, see them through chemo in my parents case or face tragedy and adversity with them. Literally the most “VIP” in their lives. Sorry you don’t think your partner is worth a red carpet even two days a year, I feel for him or her.


My DH is outstanding day in and day out. We don’t do Valentine’s Day because… it…does…not…matter. Show up when it counts, which is daily.
[Post New]02/12/2023 08:33
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It blows my mind how many supposedly independent grown-ass people expect the red-carpet treatment on VD and their anniversary, with almost zero reciprocity. Remember VD in elementary school? It was not just a one-way street. The best way to express that the day is important is to treat your partner the way you would like to be treated. Used to be a popular concept called the Golden Rule.


Yeah imagine if two entire days out of 365 people made a really, really big deal out of the person who will, for example, see them through chemo in my parents case or face tragedy and adversity with them. Literally the most “VIP” in their lives. Sorry you don’t think your partner is worth a red carpet even two days a year, I feel for him or her.


My DH is outstanding day in and day out. We don’t do Valentine’s Day because… it…does…not…matter. Show up when it counts, which is daily.


Mine is too. “Showing up” daily and doing something special a few times a year are in no way mutually exclusive.
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