How long do you stay hyper about where your child is in college?

[Anonymous]

Your kid is happy, but obviously you signaled your dissatisfaction to the HS counselor. Otherwise why would she offer help?
It's all about you OP, admit it. It's aaalll about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What school and what major??

Going to a college is one thing.
Actually doing great in a college is another big success

At many colleges, getting in is the hard part.

and it's on use if you don't do well there

[Anonymous]

Jesus woman unclench. This is not your life. Let your kid live where they are happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS was one of those kids last year who had a perfect ACT score, 4.0 UW GPA, speaks 3 languages, took 12 APs, plays an instrument and a sport, won awards, had work experience, etc and got deferred everywhere last year except his safety. He is very happy at this school this year, continued his A average, but hasn’t felt particularly challenged yet. He has made friends and seems settled. I ran into his HS counselor who asked if he would be applying to transfer and if so, they would be happy to help him. He has no interest. He has an attitude now that the elite schools he aspired to are just a crock of .. well you know.
So this is my question for those who had/have the ivy or die attitude in this list. For the majority of folks who have kids who didn't get into their dream school, admit it or not, what are your feelings now? If your kid is happy, do you let it go, or push them to try again?

Thanks for the not so subtle humble brag. Your kid is happy and you want to have them transfer? Good god, stop trying to make problems where there are none.

Let it go....!

[Anonymous]

Keep in mind that, soon, the kids will be done with school. Done with doing what it takes to get a good grade. Their real goal is to eventually transition into the real world and get jobs. Lucky ones will have careers they like or even love.

So, the whole, school is easy thing doesn't really matter as much as whether they are setting themselves up to get a job later. And, for those who are curious souls, whether they like the courses they are taking (and those offered to them), learning in those classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind that, soon, the kids will be done with school. Done with doing what it takes to get a good grade. Their real goal is to eventually transition into the real world and get jobs. Lucky ones will have careers they like or even love.

So, the whole, school is easy thing doesn't really matter as much as whether they are setting themselves up to get a job later. And, for those who are curious souls, whether they like the courses they are taking (and those offered to them), learning in those classes.

I agree with this. Also, you say your kid is happy. That’s the ultimate goal. I think many of our kids have been on the school treadmill for so long, they have trouble recognizing when they have arrived at the destination that they have been waiting for. It’s important to learn when to step out of the rat race or it will ruin their lives and they’ll never be satisfied.

[Anonymous]

He's happy. He has friends. He is settled. But he is calling home saying, "gee, this is too easy. Can I move, leave my friends and struggle academically so the name on the degree is more prestigious? You know, at a school that deferred me the first time around?"

I highly doubt this is coming from your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's happy. He has friends. He is settled. But he is calling home saying, "gee, this is too easy. Can I move, leave my friends and struggle academically so the name on the degree is more prestigious? You know, at a school that deferred me the first time around?"

I highly doubt this is coming from your child.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS was one of those kids last year who had a perfect ACT score, 4.0 UW GPA, speaks 3 languages, took 12 APs, plays an instrument and a sport, won awards, had work experience, etc and got deferred everywhere last year except his safety. He is very happy at this school this year, continued his A average, but hasn’t felt particularly challenged yet. He has made friends and seems settled. I ran into his HS counselor who asked if he would be applying to transfer and if so, they would be happy to help him. He has no interest. He has an attitude now that the elite schools he aspired to are just a crock of .. well you know.
So this is my question for those who had/have the ivy or die attitude in this list. For the majority of folks who have kids who didn't get into their dream school, admit it or not, what are your feelings now? If your kid is happy, do you let it go, or push them to try again?

It DS hasn’t felt challenged, why do you think transferring to a college that will look better to your neighbors on your rear window will challenge him? If anything there is MORE velvet gloving and grade inflation at most top schools, with some exceptions of course. Also there isn’t a college in the top 1000 that couldn’t produce a challenging curriculum for 99.9999% of sophomores. Sounds like DS might need to stretch himself and take more difficult classes if things are too easy. But if DS is taking core curriculum, I have no reason to think chem 101 or history 101 or psych 101 are any more challenging at top 20 school than at an average college.

It matters so much more how your DS does in college than where they go.

+1.

And I'd add, being "challenged" at every step of the way can be overrated. Having a year that's not academically overwhelming and allows you to get your feet under you socially and in terms of adjusting to more independence, etc., can be good!

+1000

He's happy. Now that he's settled, perhaps he can find a professor to do research with/become a TA for classes--if that interests him. There are plenty of ways for him to "be challenged" anywhere, if that's what he wants (and not you).

[Anonymous]

The answer to your question in your subject line is “never.”

Should you ever “hyper” about where your kid is in college?

No. You should never feel or act like this.

[Anonymous]

Only issue is people do to school to also date and find a spouse.

I made mistake of going to Stonybrook as a white Catholic man and found school to be 70 percent male and few women mainly Asian and in library. Add in a big gay population. I dated zero in college. Although I did hook up townies

But I visited Villanova one weekend and was like 52 percent pretty upper income white Catholic females.

Class is only 3 -5 hours a day. It is important to enjoy the other 20 hours a day

[Anonymous]

Mine had IVY dreams and was waitlisted last year. He is happy where he is this year and has no desire as well to transfer. He's taken an attitude now that if he had to redo high school, he would have enjoyed it more and not stressed so much.

I think academically he knows he is capable but socially perhaps it's better where he landed. I can only see growth from this experience and no need to transfer for an undergrad degree. Let them enjoy these discoveries.

[Anonymous]

what I feel like I am hearing in this post and so many others is that people really are NOT making a balanced list

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what I feel like I am hearing in this post and so many others is that people really are NOT making a balanced list

You don't even know what school they are talking about or what their list was so your claim is dumb.

[Anonymous]

How long do YOU stay hyper? That is on you mom.