Making a shortlist of potential spouses I would approve for my child - just for fun!

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who used to talk about our mutual friend’s daughter as future DIL when kids were little. The girl was the most beautiful little girl. She looked like a doll and the boy and girl used to hang out all the time. Now the kids are in middle school and no longer are friends. Mom has not mentioned future DIL in years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is creepy but it checks out since you are an active church-goer.

Are you also from the South/flyover?

Three digs in a single two-line post. For a harmless thread. I'm sure OP is perfectly aware her kid may never get married, or may turn out to be gay, or trans, or do/be something different from OP's expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is creepy but it checks out since you are an active church-goer.

Are you also from the South/flyover?

You mean one of those christian nationalists they keep warning about?

[Anonymous]

My friend and I joke about this because we love each other and our kids love each other (my boy and her girl). Wouldn't it be fun to be a family? Of course we know it won't really happen. They are only five years old.
However I would of course like it if my kids dated kids from families I know when they are teens, as opposed to strangers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. Maybe your daughter will be gay. Maybe your daughter won't want to get married. Maybe her values in men will be different than hers.

Also if your child is less than a year then these friends' kids are probably four years old and younger - you have NO WAY of knowing which will turn out to have a heroin addiction, gambling addiction, anger management issues, become a cheater, be so spoiled by their parents that they contribute nothing, etc.

It's a lot weirder to look at a sweet 4yo and think "oh he might turn out to be a heroin addict" than to have little daydreams about a happy future for these little kids ahead.

[Anonymous]

I used to do that when my kids were little, OP. But now that they're in their teens and 20s, I just want them to marry orphans so that they can spend every holiday with us.

Wait . . . is that weird?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is creepy but it checks out since you are an active church-goer.

Are you also from the South/flyover?

Three digs in a single two-line post. For a harmless thread. I'm sure OP is perfectly aware her kid may never get married, or may turn out to be gay, or trans, or do/be something different from OP's expectations.

Oh god

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is insane. Maybe your daughter will be gay. Maybe your daughter won't want to get married. Maybe her values in men will be different than hers.

Also if your child is less than a year then these friends' kids are probably four years old and younger - you have NO WAY of knowing which will turn out to have a heroin addiction, gambling addiction, anger management issues, become a cheater, be so spoiled by their parents that they contribute nothing, etc.

It's a lot weirder to look at a sweet 4yo and think "oh he might turn out to be a heroin addict" than to have little daydreams about a happy future for these little kids ahead.

This made me lol!

[Anonymous]

OP here- I definitely keep this to myself apart from telling my husband, haha.
I’m actually from a large city in another country to answer the Southern state/flyover poster.
I’m well aware of the different paths my daughters life could take, but if she does choose to get married I would hope she chooses wisely! I particularly like the analogy that children are flowers that we cannot choose which type but our job is to tend to them carefully.

[Anonymous]

I don't find this completely weird because there is something really charming about thinking about your very young children as an adult. Not in a real sense, like an adult with a mortgage and job responsibilities and taxes and stuff. But every once in a while my kid wears an outfit that is just vary grown up looking or her hair falls a certain way or she says something very precocious and it's kind of thrilling to get this glimpse of her as a grown up. I think that part is normal.

But I admit that there is something... off to me about assigning your kid a future spouse. I just think playing this game too much could lead to you one day being the mom who is tearful because her 30 year old daughter hasn't found "the one" yet, because it reflects a fixation on marriage as the pinnacle of life that I think could be hard for your kid to live up to.

[Anonymous]

This is so weird to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is creepy but it checks out since you are an active church-goer.

Are you also from the South/flyover?

Tsk!tsk. This was just mean and 🤢 nasty and uncalled for.

[Anonymous]

Gross OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People uninterested in prospective spouses of their children are the weird ones, historically speaking.

Sure, when they are older and you can actually assess them based on personality and future potential. At age 0-3 what are you going to assess them on - their parents’ looks and money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross OP.

+1