Friend turns something positive into something negative - how to respond?
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Anonymous
| The issue is you make everything about you. If she mentions her daughter getting married, you ask how the wedding planning is going not mention your wedding. |
Anonymous
… this is why she doesn’t like you. |
Anonymous
If she doesn't like her why does she see her? Sounds like jealousy to me when you can't even appreciate that someone had a nice walk in a park. Friend is unhappy and misery loves company. |
Anonymous
| She’s just not that into you, sunshine. In fact she likely finds you annoying and she is really being very polite by not pointing that out. Why are you trying so hard to befriend her? Is she wealthy? Connected? |
Anonymous
This is OP. No, not wealthy and not 'connected'. It appears she has a lot of local friends. She's a lot more lively and chatty with our mutual friends than with us. Maybe this is because the majority of mutual friends are in her hobby groups (she's in 3 or 4) and we're not. We haven't done anything wrong. |
Anonymous
DP. You haven’t done anything wrong. She’s just not that into you. Why do you care if you aren’t close and don’t see her much? |
Anonymous
| I think you just have very different personalities. In one of your examples were turning something into a negative. Two were her not responding, one was her having a different opinion. She could be really stressed about the wedding, so you saying how much fun it was, could have been viewed as an insult. You just do not click as friends. |
Anonymous
| She's just not that into you. I don't know why that's hard to figure out. You don't even seem to like her. Don't push it. Be polite and cordial, but don't try to engage her. |
Anonymous
This sounds very familiar, have you posted about it before? The part about running into her, the.n talking about work and a vacation. |
Anonymous
| I am generally a glass half full, try to see the positives type of person. Something about your posts is really off putting. Also, I can't imagine gushing over how much you loved planning your own wedding to someone who seems hung up on what sounds like a bitter divorce. |
Anonymous
| You sound a little tone deaf and unable to read a room. Actually, you remind me a lot of one of my friends. She's super kind and friendly, but she struggles when it seems like someone doesn't like her or want to talk to her. She tends to kind of over compensate the friendliness which can come off as fake or trying to hard. I've had to defend her against a few people that were put off by her. |
Anonymous
No offense but your responses make you sound like a sociopath. If your friend is struggling with something it's very unkind to run into someone's face your "perfect" stories. It 100% feels like one-upmanship. I don't know you and wouldn't want to be friends with you based on this response alone. If I say - wedding planning is really stressful because we don't have the money, we're not sure if we can find the vendors, etc and you tell me that you're sorry it's been rough. Happy to pitch in as it's something you enjoy. That's less pyscho. |
Anonymous
What do you mean by off putting? My husband and I are always polite and friendly to her. Her divorce was over 17 years ago. She was already divorced when we moved to this town 17 years ago. |
Anonymous
DP. Try googling “toxic positivity” and see if it describes you. You don’t seem that self-aware to be honest, but maybe you can just tone it down around her. |
Anonymous
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I know people like this in my own family. It’s emotionally draining and makes me miserable to be around people like this. It’s almost as if you are somehow assaulting their ego with every word and they are defensive and antagonistic so they find these things to say (or not say )
Luckily it’s someone you don’t have to deal with often so you can ignore her |