Currently on a miserable beach vacation with 4 yo

[Anonymous]

No advice, but a lot of sympathy here. One of the worst vacations of my life was when my defiant kid was three. Despite usually enjoying camping and hiking, he refused to walk anywhere at Acadia National Park. I saw nothing except the views from the parking lots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

He has EPILEPSY. Read the post. Epilepsy diagnosed at this age is entirely different.

[Anonymous]

Does he have less of a power struggle with other adults?

If so, for the next trip (or even the rest of this one with grandparent), it may be worth getting creative on childcare support.

I find that power struggles with my 3 year old sometime intensify on vacation because of so much togetherness. Now I've started focusing on spending quality time together doing the things she loves most and then using a babysitter for things like dining in a nice restaurant at bedtime that are asking too much of her. At first I felt guilty needing childcare on a family vacation, but now I see it as setting the child up for success.

Can grandmas watch your son while the rest of you have restaurant dinner one night? Does the hotel have a babysitter that could provide a few hours of outdoor playtime to burn some energy while you and partner get a break? And then go have your magic ocean time together just you and DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP go home.
Next you need therapy the whole family.

While he has some issues you need tools to fix these behaviors.

Biting you should have been a sign HOME. And that you are clearly out of your league in parenting.

I am not trying to be mean I know this is hard however this is not something you will change overnight. And it will take a long time. It took you four years to get here.

I can’t stand posters like this. This is extreme and unwarranted advice. We are all on this board bc parenting an sn kid is hard and we are all out of our league. This pp needs to sit down

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No ideas. Just empathy. Hope you guys get some support from a parenting class or therapist who has some experience helping kids with these behavioral issues.

+1

We ended up not traveling for years because it was too stressful for us. Some kids just don’t do well out of their routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

He has EPILEPSY. Read the post. Epilepsy diagnosed at this age is entirely different.

How so?

Epilepsy sucks but it doesn’t cause behavioral issues.

- parent of kid with epilepsy at this age

[Anonymous]

Op is he on meds?
It sounds like he is struggling hard w transitions - ours still does at 9. Adhd kids hyper focus and then forget to eat, drink and that makes the transition harder. Try timers - we will get dressed in ten minutes then 5, 3, 1m warning. Timers are key for adhd bc adhd ppl have time blindness. Then feed before ocean then same thing in ocean w timers. Also try the ‘take a minute’ technique where every time kid loses it or won’t comply they ‘take a minute’ ie sit doing nothing. Minute starts when they’re calm. Takes time but does work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

He has EPILEPSY. Read the post. Epilepsy diagnosed at this age is entirely different.

How so?

Epilepsy sucks but it doesn’t cause behavioral issues.

- parent of kid with epilepsy at this age

It does, actually depending on the type of epilepsy. Children with BECTS, doose, LKS, ESES, frontal lobe, temporal lobe…. Huge amounts of behavioral issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry to hear this is happening to you. This is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. My one comment would be to insist on food if you can—the kid may be hungry and need raw almonds or another healthy snack. Hungry kids are terrible.

Hope vacation goes better.

+1 to “this is an unusual amount of disruptive behavior in a kid for these three diagnoses only. Signed mom of ADHD and ASD teen

He has EPILEPSY. Read the post. Epilepsy diagnosed at this age is entirely different.

How so?

Epilepsy sucks but it doesn’t cause behavioral issues.

- parent of kid with epilepsy at this age

It does, actually depending on the type of epilepsy. Children with BECTS, doose, LKS, ESES, frontal lobe, temporal lobe…. Huge amounts of behavioral issues.

That is what I have heard as well. Epilepsy and autism behaviors can be similar. Those behaviors read autism meltdown to me. I would but waterproof swim gear and a big hat, have beach picnics and screw the sunscreen. If it takes him until 4 pm to put in his suit, then who cares about the sun?

[Anonymous]

https://www.massgeneral.org/children/epilepsy/education/mental-health-and-behavior

Between 30-50 percent of kids with epilepsy have ambit behavioral issues present. For some types of seizures like ESES, epilepsy causes behavioral issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.massgeneral.org/children/epilepsy/education/mental-health-and-behavior

Between 30-50 percent of kids with epilepsy have ambit behavioral issues present. For some types of seizures like ESES, epilepsy causes behavioral issues.

Mostly comorbidities. ESES is rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.massgeneral.org/children/epilepsy/education/mental-health-and-behavior

Between 30-50 percent of kids with epilepsy have ambit behavioral issues present. For some types of seizures like ESES, epilepsy causes behavioral issues.

Mostly comorbidities. ESES is rare.

It’s not that rare to have dysregulation from epilepsy and or the meds. My father has epilepsy late onset and had
Massive behavioral issues. Seizures are a symptom of a dysfunctional brain. So there will usually be some issues. Keep in mind about 50 percent of kids with epilepsy have intellectual disabilities.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Thanks for the replies. I’m not looking for help with comprehensive diagnostic or long term behavioral techniques. We have done all the things. We have an epileptologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, geneticist, and all the therapies.

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive the next few days.

I’ve severely Injured my back from carrying/wrangling/wrestling him and now can barely walk, and DH is completely depleted. I’m feeling really worried about how to survive the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Thanks for the replies. I’m not looking for help with comprehensive diagnostic or long term behavioral techniques. We have done all the things. We have an epileptologist, neuropsychologist, developmental pediatrician, geneticist, and all the therapies.

I’m just trying to figure out how to survive the next few days.

I’ve severely Injured my back from carrying/wrangling/wrestling him and now can barely walk, and DH is completely depleted. I’m feeling really worried about how to survive the day.

Op I gave you tips above ^^
Timer, feed, take a minute - and repeat.