Relative came to thanksgiving with a cold.
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Anonymous
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People should not attend thanksgiving dinner if they have a cold. It’s rude and selfish and arrogant. You’re assuming your presence at the dinner is worth everyone else being sick for days or weeks.
But a lot of people are selfish, so if you go to a large dinner like that, there is a good chance there will be at least one jerk who thinks their company is worth exposing everyone to their cold or other illness. This is why it’s a good idea to push for outdoor gatherings. I would have masked indoors, made everyone in my household mask, stay outside as much as possible, and eat outside. |
Anonymous
Well, that’s what I’m asking. I haven’t made up my mind. But I do think the sick guest shouldn’t be the one deciding without telling others. |
Anonymous
1. No 2. Yes, especially during cold and flu season. Based on your attitude, you had better ensure that at the start of any sniffle your kids have from now on results in a full quarantine for at least 3 weeks until the last cough is gone. So no school, no restaurants, no family, no friends, nothing. |
Anonymous
Yes, you have. Re-read your obnoxious OP. You’re accusing your inlaw of downplaying how they felt. They had a cold. They likely felt well enough to attend or they wouldn’t have come. That’s not downplaying symptoms. If you don’t want your kids exposed to colds, don’t leave your house until next May. |
Anonymous
+1 It’s laughable that OP is trying to say she hasn’t “made up my mind.” Maybe you can convince yourself of this, OP. But the rest of us see you loud and clear. |
Anonymous
This. Sorry op. |
Anonymous
| Op how do you send your kids to school? There are probably 10 kids in class with a cold right now. |
Anonymous
What’s to see loud and clear? That i have the opinion that it’s inconsiderate to gather with immediate family without telling them you’re sick beforehand? So no one can make their own decisions? I’m not sure if it’s reasonable for people to attend thanksgiving with colds. I see it both ways. But it’s certainly selfish to not even disclose it until you arrive. I’m guessing you and the PP are like this. |
Anonymous
The “line” is protect yourself and your baby by staying home if you have a zero-risk policy. Know that if you choose to go to the grocery store, work, daycare, a family gathering, church, the mall, a museum, or literally anywhere with people that YOU have chosen to assume risk of illness. |
Anonymous
Yes, at school of course assumed risk. Kid is sick all the time from school. But I think in a close fam gathering you tell others as a courtesy if you’re sick. Perhaps for a holiday you come anyways- but the decision is up to you. Not an essential exposure like school or going into the office full of people who have to be there. |
Anonymous
Yes but all those are larger public places. Not smaller private gatherings of immediate family. |
Anonymous
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If a relative came to Thanksgiving with a cold I would be annoyed and probably leave. I would have felt like that even before the pandemic. Several years ago, a coworker walked in late to a meeting and sat down right next to me. After sitting there quietly for about a half hour, he apologized to the group for being late, saying, "sorry I'm late, I think I have the flu." I was livid and got up and left the meeting. The pandemic has made people forget that it has always been rude and selfish to come to work, or parties, or events when you are sick. Even if it's "just" a cold, or "just" RSV or "just" the flu, etc. people don't want to get sick. No one wants your germs. Your relative made very a selfish choice, particularly if there were elderly people at the get together, but also because he doesn't know who among your family (or your family's co-workers or others forced to be around them) are vulnerable to complications. Or maybe have something major happening at work and don't want to spend the next week in bed. Or miss school. Or whatever is happening in their lives -- just so your brother-in-law can eat turkey for one day out of the year.
Also most Covid infections present as colds at first, and you can be reinfected in as little as 4 weeks, particularly with a different variant, so the fact that your relative was recently infected isn't really reassuring. Testing frequently doesn't catch early Covid, as we found out recently with our son. We sent him to school a few weeks ago even though he had a horse voice and was sneezing a bit. No fever, so unlikely to be flu or RSV. He otherwise felt fine, and we tested him for Covid like 3 times over the weekend before sending him to school. By then he was on day 3 of barely perceptible symptoms so we assumed that tests would be accurate. After all the testing and the very minor symptoms, it felt like overreacting to keep him home from school, especially because we had kept him home many times over the last 2 years for minor colds that never turned into anything. So we sent him to school for 2 days, and on the evening of the 2nd day he tested positive for Covid. He actually got quite ill, with a fever of 103, and then I got very sick and I'm still dealing with debilitating complications from the infection. I hate to think that he infected other people at school during those 2 days. |
Anonymous
Did you miss the part where I literally said a family gathering? I helpfully bolded it for you. |
Anonymous
Well you claimed you hadn’t made up your mind when you clearly had. At least now you’re being honest and admitting you have. You’re just pissy that everyone is jumping on the bandwagon calling your in-law selfish. You knew this person was sick and continued to spend tine with then, including staying the night. That’s on you that your kid is now sick. |
Anonymous
Yes a family gathering is unlike all of those other things… |