Why is Homecoming such a Big Deal?

[Anonymous]

What did the homecoming "court" and crowning look like at your high school vs today? It seemed like a much bigger deal when I was in high school in the mid to late 90s.

[Anonymous]

Hoco aound here is super weird to me.

I grew up in NY and homecoming was all about school spirit. We kicked it off with a pep rally. Each grade created a huge float and we had a parade through town. Football games were well attended by sober students who wanted to cheer on the team more than yell at freshman who are sitting in the "wrong spot". The dance was that evening and people dresses cute, but none of this mini-prom stuff that goes on here. People didn't go out to the country club or rent a party bus. Seeing groups of girls and boys with their dates all lined up is so different.

I liked my smaller hometown homecoming a lot more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends what part of the country you live in. I grew up in nY, and don’t even think we had homecoming. Spirit week was just for seniors.

No, it's a new thing, not regional. Homecoming was not a big deal at my school 30 years ago, but it is for my HS daughters who are attending the same school I did. I blame social media. Anything that could be a good photo op is now popular.

Yup! I think this is it. Show the world how awesome you are.

[Anonymous]

Our school doesn't do Homecoming, even though football is huge here. No idea why. They do a sophomore "semi formal", and then junior and senior prom. We have an annual football game on Thanksgiving morning against the town next door and the days leading up there are spirit days and a pep rally, so something like would happen the week of Homecoming, but no dance.

[Anonymous]

Our school does a low-key Homecoming. They have spirit week (wear school colors, favorite sports team, etc.). And then the football game on Friday night with a theme. This year's them was neon which meant my kids had neon t-shirts on. Right afterward was a casual dance in the gym. My daughter stayed. My son did not. No one had dates. No one dressed up. They still had their neon clothes on.

[Anonymous]

Very little is an "important event" in HS, in the scheme of things. Some are fun, some are memorable, but I don't think I'd classify homecoming or prom as important. I think today a lot of this is more just for kids (and mom) to post on social media. For my daughter it was mostly about the dress, getting dressed up with her friends, going to take pictures somewhere, and then posting them. The dance itself they all thought was boring.

While my kids have always gone to homecoming, I never went, and made it to my 50's unscathed by missing it. If a kid wants to go, great! If a kid doesn't want to go, that's fine too!

[Anonymous]

It's funny to me when posters opine to say "this is new" or "this is because of social media" in such a definitive way. Like, their experience defines all experiences.

HoCo was pretty big when I was in HS in the 90's. It doesn't appear to be a bigger deal now than it was then. It doesn't appear to be lesser deal either. I think it depends on where you grew up.

[Anonymous]

We live in the age of social media. Homecoming is now an attempt to show how “hot” you are (or your kids are) to your neighbors, coworkers, and distant relatives. It’s like a weird contest of who gets the most likes.

I’ve seen post after post of girls dressed in dresses up to their butts, and boys who look like they would rather be anywhere else.

[Anonymous]

It's 100 percent social media.

This is supported by the fact that even in schools where they've done away with the dance (Whitman being my example), the kids (supported by parents) have organized into groups to get the photos. Photo taking is the main portion of the agenda. They're going to multiple places to do it.

I'm not necessarily saying this is wrong - in pre-social media times getting photos was still a thing. Parents would take photos before kids left, and there was always a photo booth at the dance. But, it seems the dance - i.e., the event - was secondary.

As a parent who wasn't into this when I was a teen, it's a bit frustrating (and expensive). Sigh.

And - it's very clear that a large part of it is the drinking. I think some parents are clueless, and some turn a blind eye. But it's happening.

[Anonymous]

Why it's something you should value:

It's a way for kids to "lean in" when it comes to school and social life, as opposed to being a community outsider or cynic. Do you want to be a part of the community or someone who is too aloof and snotty to participate? It's something ecumenical that the band kids, the theatre kids, the football players, and others can all be a part of. What's so bad about that?

Separately, today's HS kids missed out on so much socializing because of COVID and have a ton of catching up to do in order to get to their normal social developmental stage. These are the times when they learn to ask someone out, to organize their friends into a group, to celebrate as a group, to belong. It's much lower stakes than prom, so think of it as a practice opportunity. As a parent of a college student, I encourage all HS parents to support their kids learning how to do all of this safely and at least somewhat soberly so that they don't arrive at college in a year or two and lose it when faced with the need to do this on their own. The vomiting, passing out, hooking up, and what not is out of control, above and beyond the normal freshman year of college stupidity, and I'd guess it has to do with COVID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends what part of the country you live in. I grew up in nY, and don’t even think we had homecoming. Spirit week was just for seniors.

No, it's a new thing, not regional. Homecoming was not a big deal at my school 30 years ago, but it is for my HS daughters who are attending the same school I did. I blame social media. Anything that could be a good photo op is now popular.

Totally agree with this.

apparently it's now important to make asking the date to go to HC a big deal, and record it on instagram.

I really despise social media.

My kids will be going to HC, but they are not making a big deal out of it. I have told my kids that HS is fleeting and all of this stuff will have very little impact on your future. Sure, have fun and enjoy your HS years, but don't make it such a big deal. You are going to be in for a world of disappoint once you leave HS if you make every social thing about HS a huge deal.

[Anonymous]

It seems like the girls do make a much bigger deal than boys do, from what DS is telling me. Most of his peers would asked if he went and how it was. His guy friends were like "It was okay. The food was bad." Some had better things to do and didn't bother to go. Whereas the girls share lots of photos on their instagrams and made it a lot bigger deal than I care to remember.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why it's something you should value:

It's a way for kids to "lean in" when it comes to school and social life, as opposed to being a community outsider or cynic. Do you want to be a part of the community or someone who is too aloof and snotty to participate? It's something ecumenical that the band kids, the theatre kids, the football players, and others can all be a part of. What's so bad about that?

Separately, today's HS kids missed out on so much socializing because of COVID and have a ton of catching up to do in order to get to their normal social developmental stage. These are the times when they learn to ask someone out, to organize their friends into a group, to celebrate as a group, to belong. It's much lower stakes than prom, so think of it as a practice opportunity. As a parent of a college student, I encourage all HS parents to support their kids learning how to do all of this safely and at least somewhat soberly so that they don't arrive at college in a year or two and lose it when faced with the need to do this on their own. The vomiting, passing out, hooking up, and what not is out of control, above and beyond the normal freshman year of college stupidity, and I'd guess it has to do with COVID.

Urggh. I can't disagree with you more, but to each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why it's something you should value:

It's a way for kids to "lean in" when it comes to school and social life, as opposed to being a community outsider or cynic. Do you want to be a part of the community or someone who is too aloof and snotty to participate? It's something ecumenical that the band kids, the theatre kids, the football players, and others can all be a part of. What's so bad about that?

Separately, today's HS kids missed out on so much socializing because of COVID and have a ton of catching up to do in order to get to their normal social developmental stage. These are the times when they learn to ask someone out, to organize their friends into a group, to celebrate as a group, to belong. It's much lower stakes than prom, so think of it as a practice opportunity. As a parent of a college student, I encourage all HS parents to support their kids learning how to do all of this safely and at least somewhat soberly so that they don't arrive at college in a year or two and lose it when faced with the need to do this on their own. The vomiting, passing out, hooking up, and what not is out of control, above and beyond the normal freshman year of college stupidity, and I'd guess it has to do with COVID.

Some of us like being community outsiders and cynics ;-/
We make fun of the rah-rah joiner types.

[Anonymous]

My freshman son will skip anything that requires dressing up. And a prom-posal? Gross. Why put the boys through that? Is that some southern thing?
I also hate calling it HoCo. That’s Howard County to me.

I think it’s a chance for the girls to show off in dresses and how they were asked, and I heard many don’t even attend the dance. That’s just silly.