Why is Homecoming such a Big Deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends what part of the country you live in. I grew up in nY, and don’t even think we had homecoming. Spirit week was just for seniors.

No, it's a new thing, not regional. Homecoming was not a big deal at my school 30 years ago, but it is for my HS daughters who are attending the same school I did. I blame social media. Anything that could be a good photo op is now popular.

I graduated high school in 1985 and homecoming was a huge thing. I bet we went to high school in different parts of the country. It's regional, not age.

[Anonymous]

In this day and age, why can't the girls do the prom-prosal?

[Anonymous]

The idea of a hoco prom-posal, renting a party bus and skipping the dance entirely is so foreign to me. What even is the point?

[Anonymous]

It's an activity where it's easy for kids to feel included. Homecoming "groups" are big, no need to have a date. Encourage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The idea of a hoco prom-posal, renting a party bus and skipping the dance entirely is so foreign to me. What even is the point?

Our neighbor rented the longest limo I have ever seen. Big enough to fit then entire cheerleading squad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why it's something you should value:

It's a way for kids to "lean in" when it comes to school and social life, as opposed to being a community outsider or cynic. Do you want to be a part of the community or someone who is too aloof and snotty to participate? It's something ecumenical that the band kids, the theatre kids, the football players, and others can all be a part of. What's so bad about that?

Separately, today's HS kids missed out on so much socializing because of COVID and have a ton of catching up to do in order to get to their normal social developmental stage. These are the times when they learn to ask someone out, to organize their friends into a group, to celebrate as a group, to belong. It's much lower stakes than prom, so think of it as a practice opportunity. As a parent of a college student, I encourage all HS parents to support their kids learning how to do all of this safely and at least somewhat soberly so that they don't arrive at college in a year or two and lose it when faced with the need to do this on their own. The vomiting, passing out, hooking up, and what not is out of control, above and beyond the normal freshman year of college stupidity, and I'd guess it has to do with COVID.

LOL, it's usually the opposite. All the popular kids go, and the nerdy kids who are outsiders don't.

No one said it's "bad", just why is it such a huge deal.

were you one of those who made it a huge deal?

HS is not a huge deal. We need to stop encouraging kids to make every social thing in HS such a huge deal. My kids are going, but it's not a huge deal to them.

[Anonymous]

Everything has become a social opportunities for kids and their moms to post on instagram. No wonder we have mental health issues!

We can't even have a nice family outing for Halloween trick or treating anymore. What ever happened to going trick or treating with siblings? Now kids are worried about being invited to the party before the trick or treating and getting a nice photo op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why it's something you should value:

It's a way for kids to "lean in" when it comes to school and social life, as opposed to being a community outsider or cynic. Do you want to be a part of the community or someone who is too aloof and snotty to participate? It's something ecumenical that the band kids, the theatre kids, the football players, and others can all be a part of. What's so bad about that?

Separately, today's HS kids missed out on so much socializing because of COVID and have a ton of catching up to do in order to get to their normal social developmental stage. These are the times when they learn to ask someone out, to organize their friends into a group, to celebrate as a group, to belong. It's much lower stakes than prom, so think of it as a practice opportunity. As a parent of a college student, I encourage all HS parents to support their kids learning how to do all of this safely and at least somewhat soberly so that they don't arrive at college in a year or two and lose it when faced with the need to do this on their own. The vomiting, passing out, hooking up, and what not is out of control, above and beyond the normal freshman year of college stupidity, and I'd guess it has to do with COVID.

LOL, it's usually the opposite. All the popular kids go, and the nerdy kids who are outsiders don't.

No one said it's "bad", just why is it such a huge deal.

were you one of those who made it a huge deal?

HS is not a huge deal. We need to stop encouraging kids to make every social thing in HS such a huge deal. My kids are going, but it's not a huge deal to them.

I laughed out loud at the PP's "Do you want to be a part of the community or someone who is too aloof and snotty to participate?" Please! Some kids don't go for various reasons. I bet you were one of the girls in HS who questioned kids who didn't go to inconsequential dances as missing a monumental moment in their childhood. Have some perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never went to homecoming. Only proms.

DS decided not to go this year because he went to his cousin's birthday party instead. He didn't seem as bothered by the whole thing until some friends pestered him about how he missed out on a "memorable and important" event? One went as far as insisting he lost a part of his childhood for not going.

Is homecoming really that important in HS? I don't get it.

Your teenaged boy's friends pestered him because he missed out on a "memorable and important" event. Those were their words?

I grew up on LI and I think maybe one football game was called homecoming. It wasn't a social event or if it was for some people, I was not even aware of it. I was a pretty involved student. When I was a senior, they started a "court" where two kids were voted on in each grade. No one cared that much.

Now at that same school, it's a slightly bigger deal (it's also band day) and now includes a pep rally. No dance. I went with my tween, to the game, and it was actually fun. Nothing crazy though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never went to homecoming. Only proms.

DS decided not to go this year because he went to his cousin's birthday party instead. He didn't seem as bothered by the whole thing until some friends pestered him about how he missed out on a "memorable and important" event? One went as far as insisting he lost a part of his childhood for not going.

Is homecoming really that important in HS? I don't get it.

Your teenaged boy's friends pestered him because he missed out on a "memorable and important" event. Those were their words?

I grew up on LI and I think maybe one football game was called homecoming. It wasn't a social event or if it was for some people, I was not even aware of it. I was a pretty involved student. When I was a senior, they started a "court" where two kids were voted on in each grade. No one cared that much.

Now at that same school, it's a slightly bigger deal (it's also band day) and now includes a pep rally. No dance. I went with my tween, to the game, and it was actually fun. Nothing crazy though.

OP here. Apparently so. He said it was just some of the girls who made it a huge deal. I guess neither DH nor I batted an eye about dances or social "musts" in high school so it's never been one of those things that DS cared about either. He goes to MS gatherings in the past and spends a lot of time with peers because he does a competitive sport. Personally, I thought it was nice that he prioritized family over a school social gathering, but I guess some of his peers don't see that as very cool thing to do and felt the need to make him feel bad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did the homecoming "court" and crowning look like at your high school vs today? It seemed like a much bigger deal when I was in high school in the mid to late 90s.

The need to do away with this. It's outdated and little more than a popularity contest. And kind of dumb. Why is it necessary?

But to answer your question: in the "old days" you had a boy and girl from each grade and several of each for the senior class (then king/queen came from the senior pool).

My DC's school had "homecoming royalty" this year. 10 seniors who had the most votes and did not have to have equal numbers of boys girls (and they didn't). In the end, the "royalty" was a boy and a girl but it was not required to have one of each. Kids seemed fine with it. And if the Youngkin Parent Types had issues with it, I didn't hear about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why it's something you should value:

It's a way for kids to "lean in" when it comes to school and social life, as opposed to being a community outsider or cynic. Do you want to be a part of the community or someone who is too aloof and snotty to participate? It's something ecumenical that the band kids, the theatre kids, the football players, and others can all be a part of. What's so bad about that?

Separately, today's HS kids missed out on so much socializing because of COVID and have a ton of catching up to do in order to get to their normal social developmental stage. These are the times when they learn to ask someone out, to organize their friends into a group, to celebrate as a group, to belong. It's much lower stakes than prom, so think of it as a practice opportunity. As a parent of a college student, I encourage all HS parents to support their kids learning how to do all of this safely and at least somewhat soberly so that they don't arrive at college in a year or two and lose it when faced with the need to do this on their own. The vomiting, passing out, hooking up, and what not is out of control, above and beyond the normal freshman year of college stupidity, and I'd guess it has to do with COVID.

LOL, it's usually the opposite. All the popular kids go, and the nerdy kids who are outsiders don't.

No one said it's "bad", just why is it such a huge deal.

were you one of those who made it a huge deal?

HS is not a huge deal. We need to stop encouraging kids to make every social thing in HS such a huge deal. My kids are going, but it's not a huge deal to them.

I laughed out loud at the PP's "Do you want to be a part of the community or someone who is too aloof and snotty to participate?" Please! Some kids don't go for various reasons. I bet you were one of the girls in HS who questioned kids who didn't go to inconsequential dances as missing a monumental moment in their childhood. Have some perspective.

I thought this was hilarious, too, especially the implication that going to Homecoming is the only way to be part of the community. I'm glad people enjoyed Homecoming, but it wasn't my thing. I loved dance and art, and spent a lot of time at my dance classes. My "community" at school were the art and theater people. I enjoyed creating sets and making costumes for plays. You can be part of the "community" at school in many different ways, and make memories in different ways.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Regarding being part of the community, one thing has nothing to do with the other. I mentioned upthread that I went to the homecoming game this year and there were some kids you might call "bad seeds" (one of whom was literally expelled from the MS last year; don't know if she's back in the district or not) who don't give a spit about community spirit. They are there to be seen by peers they deem popular. Also, there were performances by many of the district's bands, so if your kid was doing that, your family would be there. But like a PP said, if your kid is more artistic or busy doing volunteer work that day or something else... you may not go and it says diddly squat about your community engagement.

What a weird 1950s TV show perspective. All the "good kids" do football and cheerleading or at least their friends do! Yay! Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The girls are often more interested in the homecoming dance. A chance to dress up. The boy’s consider a sport coat to be painful 😬

Overall generalized sexist remark