How much do I have to discuss with Ex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any parent who has given up custody can’t control what the custodial parent does. Giving up custody is horrendous.

Just remember if you choose not to communicate what Dad does on his time is also none of your business.

That’s the first thing that came to my mind. He will do it right back to you and you won’t like it. Maybe you should discuss it with him even if you don’t have to.

+1. I'd use the "do unto others" principle here, not matter what is legally required. The exception would be if he's going to object to everything just to make your life hard. Then you're just going to have to accept that the price you'll pay for not contacting him is that he'll do the same to you.

[Anonymous]

Oh he does what he wants when he wants no matter what I do so this isn’t motivating for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh he does what he wants when he wants no matter what I do so this isn’t motivating for me.

Yeah, that sounds like a SUPER healthy way to co-parent.

[Anonymous]

We aren’t co-parenting. That’s the point. If we were, I would have asked him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right, spouse is wrong. Unless your activities involve out of state travel or a medical appointment for the kids, you don’t have to run anything by them, especially a sleep over.

Sorry, op. But the earlier you set boundaries, the better.

If a child is going overnight somewhere he has a right to know.

This is not in my divorce decree nor any standard separation agreement I am aware of.

huh? it is absolutely in my agreement. I have to be notified if he’s not sleeping at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We aren’t co-parenting. That’s the point. If we were, I would have asked him.

You both need to grow up and put your kid/s first. Find a way to work together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We aren’t co-parenting. That’s the point. If we were, I would have asked him.

You both need to grow up and put your kid/s first. Find a way to work together.

I completely agree - but to be honest since he’s checked out (except this issue apparently) beyond some
visits, life is a lot easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We aren’t co-parenting. That’s the point. If we were, I would have asked him.

You both need to grow up and put your kid/s first. Find a way to work together.

I completely agree - but to be honest since he’s checked out (except this issue apparently) beyond some
visits, life is a lot easier.

What do you want them? To validate that you are a good parent; you’re not.
You aren’t looking for any solutions.

[Anonymous]

The ex is seeing the kids "several times a week" yet isn't "involved in daily living"? Well, which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right, spouse is wrong. Unless your activities involve out of state travel or a medical appointment for the kids, you don’t have to run anything by them, especially a sleep over.

Sorry, op. But the earlier you set boundaries, the better.

If a child is going overnight somewhere he has a right to know.

No he doesn’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see why OP should be asking her exH about how her kids spend their spare time while at HER house. It's the custodial parent prerogative to plan activities any way they see fit, I would be surprised if the separation agreement states anything else.

If OP scheduled a sleepover for HIS custodial time/at his house then of course she should have consulted first

I really don’t agree with your statement and I can imagine how utterly dysfunctional it would be for the kids in this situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see why OP should be asking her exH about how her kids spend their spare time while at HER house. It's the custodial parent prerogative to plan activities any way they see fit, I would be surprised if the separation agreement states anything else.

If OP scheduled a sleepover for HIS custodial time/at his house then of course she should have consulted first

I really don’t agree with your statement and I can imagine how utterly dysfunctional it would be for the kids in this situation

thats the law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are right, spouse is wrong. Unless your activities involve out of state travel or a medical appointment for the kids, you don’t have to run anything by them, especially a sleep over.

Sorry, op. But the earlier you set boundaries, the better.

If a child is going overnight somewhere he has a right to know.[/quote

+1

It's not called CO-parenting for no reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We aren’t co-parenting. That’s the point. If we were, I would have asked him.

You both need to grow up and put your kid/s first. Find a way to work together.[/quote

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any parent who has given up custody can’t control what the custodial parent does. Giving up custody is horrendous.

Just remember if you choose not to communicate what Dad does on his time is also none of your business.

Oh, stop trying to mommy shame her.
He's the one who said he didn't want 50/50 custody.
She's the one who's there being responsible day in and day out.

Yet you're SO eager to not only allow this "part-time-at-best" dad off the responsibility hook, you want to give the man even more control, even though he's not giving his kids everything he has as far as visitation.

Women like you SUCK... you always find a way to let daddy be free, but shame mommy for being the responsible one.