Waiting for marriage

[Anonymous]

Waiting until marriage gets really awkward if you don't get married by 22-24. I have a friend who had this plan. She didn't find anyone in college.
Her choice to wait until marriage made it hard to find a person to date seriously by her mid to late 20s. She's now still single at 40.

[Anonymous]

I never had “casual” sex as in a ONS and I always took my time getting to know someone first. I had four partners over about six years before my DH and it really helped me understand what I was looking for in that aspect of a relationship. Some men are takers, others are givers. Some will work hard to really please you and others just want to be pleased. While my sample size was pretty small it really helped me out so when I started having sex with my now DH I realized that this guy really gets it. Those prior experiences also gave me good insight into what men like which on reflection is pretty obvious.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't advise waiting for marriage - I know a woman who did and her marriage was later in shambles when she learned of her DH's affair with a male coworker. Sex before marriage might have shed some light into what's typical or not and she probably could have avoided a lot of sorrow.

[Anonymous]

Would you buy a house without first walking through? A car without a test drive? Don’t be an idiot: sexual compatibility is WAY too important to find out after marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't advise waiting for marriage - I know a woman who did and her marriage was later in shambles when she learned of her DH's affair with a male coworker. Sex before marriage might have shed some light into what's typical or not and she probably could have avoided a lot of sorrow.

Interesting theory but how do you explain the couples who did have sex beforehand and claim it was great only to find out their husband is gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone here wait til marriage to have sex? Or date for at least 6 months before having sex? Tell me about it? Will I ever find a partner if I don’t want to have casual sex?

These are two very different things, unless you expect to marry in less than a year. Which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you buy a house without first walking through? A car without a test drive? Don’t be an idiot: sexual compatibility is WAY too important to find out after marriage.

It's important but not as important as other things see all the couples in this very forum who had great bsex and x number of years into marriage now hate their sex lives or not having sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never had sex before approximately the three month mark ESPECIALLY with FWBs. I didn't really focus on the three month mark but that's how it always seemed to work out. I think it's important to get to know and trust the person beforehand. But six months seems a login time. What exactly are you concerned about, OP?

Im old so acronyms could have changed but isnt FWB supposed to be friends w benefits? Waiting 3 months seems to defeat the purpose here…

Nope, you have to trust your FWB too, even if you don't want commitment.

I think you’re using the term wrong. You should know your friend for a while and then add the benefits. You don’t go looking for a FWB, know them 3 months, then sleep with them. That’s not a friend, just a hookup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Waiting until marriage gets really awkward if you don't get married by 22-24. I have a friend who had this plan. She didn't find anyone in college.
Her choice to wait until marriage made it hard to find a person to date seriously by her mid to late 20s. She's now still single at 40.

I have female friends single at 40 except they were having sex in their 20s so I'm not sure your theory holds water

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone here wait til marriage to have sex? Or date for at least 6 months before having sex? Tell me about it? Will I ever find a partner if I don’t want to have casual sex?

I think you have to sort your whys out first and then seek a partner with the same values.

You can date and find a partner without casual sex .


But DCUM is not the place for this advice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I waited. It was hard to find someone - though the man I married is kind, highly intelligent, family-focused and very funny. We are both very devout. We are both very happy with our sex life (if you wait long enough you never take sex for granted!)

+1. This is my experience as well—except I had had sex before, but was celibate for years until the wedding night. It weeded out a lot of guys until I found a great one.

[Anonymous]

I was a virgin until I was 22. I’m still happy with that decision and I wasn’t waiting for marriage, just the right guy. I finally lost my virginity but not to a right guy mostly just because I wanted to experience something that all of my GF’s had. My first few experiences weren’t great and I hate to think about marrying someone and finding out the sex was bad.

[Anonymous]

I would respect someone who waits for marriage. It reflects their values.

A grown adult waiting an arbitrary extended period like six months is just stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would respect someone who waits for marriage. It reflects their values.

A grown adult waiting an arbitrary extended period like six months is just stupid.

It's not arbitrary it's the am

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated my college sweetheart for several years and married him when I was 25. Both of us were virgins on our wedding night. Happily married for 35 years now. I think that waiting for sex till we were 25 made us appreciative of sex and we both have high libido.

Contrary to popular opinion, not having had sex with other people did not hamper us. We are self-taught (duh... not rocket science), adventurous, curious, high libido and we came into the marriage without any baggage. In fact I am shocked to discover on DCUM that people go years in a marriage without having sex!!

We have a great, uninhibited sex life even now. Maybe all the sexual deprivation of early years have made a life-long impact. Anyways, knowing that neither of us had other sexual partners or will have other sexual partners is very comforting and frankly a confidence booster - especially since our bodies change due to pregnancies and aging.

do you orgasm?