Waiting for marriage

[Anonymous]

Anyone here wait til marriage to have sex? Or date for at least 6 months before having sex? Tell me about it? Will I ever find a partner if I don’t want to have casual sex?

[Anonymous]

I would not have married my husband without having had sex with him first.

[Anonymous]

Find a man at church.

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP?

[Anonymous]

I've never had sex before approximately the three month mark ESPECIALLY with FWBs. I didn't really focus on the three month mark but that's how it always seemed to work out. I think it's important to get to know and trust the person beforehand. But six months seems a login time. What exactly are you concerned about, OP?

[Anonymous]

I waited 4 months. Then we dated 2 years and are now married for 35.

I agree with building a relationship beforehand. But I would have not wanted to marry someone I hadn't had sex with. It's a crucial part of marital happiness.

[Anonymous]

I waited. It was hard to find someone - though the man I married is kind, highly intelligent, family-focused and very funny. We are both very devout. We are both very happy with our sex life (if you wait long enough you never take sex for granted!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never had sex before approximately the three month mark ESPECIALLY with FWBs. I didn't really focus on the three month mark but that's how it always seemed to work out. I think it's important to get to know and trust the person beforehand. But six months seems a login time. What exactly are you concerned about, OP?

Im old so acronyms could have changed but isnt FWB supposed to be friends w benefits? Waiting 3 months seems to defeat the purpose here…

[Anonymous]

Before DH I always waited a couple of months which was why my sex life was very limited. With my DH we had sex after the first date but I had known him for a few years and he was a very good friend. I can’t imagine getting married without knowing sexual compatibility. After 33 years we are still very compatible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never had sex before approximately the three month mark ESPECIALLY with FWBs. I didn't really focus on the three month mark but that's how it always seemed to work out. I think it's important to get to know and trust the person beforehand. But six months seems a login time. What exactly are you concerned about, OP?

Im old so acronyms could have changed but isnt FWB supposed to be friends w benefits? Waiting 3 months seems to defeat the purpose here…

Nope, you have to trust your FWB too, even if you don't want commitment.

[Anonymous]

I wish I waited. The hormonal storm made me blind about red flags in the relationship (background differences, family dynamics etc). We are still together after years but sometimes I wonder if I should have chosen somebody who could share with me more values

[Anonymous]

Its common in religious couples. You aren't a unicorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its common in religious couples. You aren't a unicorn.

this

[Anonymous]

Do what you are comfortable with. Don't get pressured if you don't want to. Yes, you may lose some prospects but only you can determine their worth.

[Anonymous]

I dated my college sweetheart for several years and married him when I was 25. Both of us were virgins on our wedding night. Happily married for 35 years now. I think that waiting for sex till we were 25 made us appreciative of sex and we both have high libido.

Contrary to popular opinion, not having had sex with other people did not hamper us. We are self-taught (duh... not rocket science), adventurous, curious, high libido and we came into the marriage without any baggage. In fact I am shocked to discover on DCUM that people go years in a marriage without having sex!!

We have a great, uninhibited sex life even now. Maybe all the sexual deprivation of early years have made a life-long impact. Anyways, knowing that neither of us had other sexual partners or will have other sexual partners is very comforting and frankly a confidence booster - especially since our bodies change due to pregnancies and aging.