This is why we put our kids in sports!

[Anonymous]

So OP, when you are looking to hire individuals with “ grit, resilience, character, the ability to work through tough times, and the ability to bounce back from failure when things aren't going your way,” I assume you are especially interested in people like people with disabilities or Dreamers. You know, people who have faced actual challenges every single day rather than how to behave when you miss the penalty kick or get benched for the better player a few times a season.

[Anonymous]

You can develop resilience and grit through things other than sports, and not all kids who do sports develop grit and resilience. There is no magic bullet that will make your kid more resilient and harder worker -- you have to parent through it, know your kid, adjust to new information, etc. Raising kids can be hard, this is one reason why.

It's weird to look at someone who has suicidal ideation and say "you need to be more resilient." It's just odd, as well as callous. Maybe look inward.

While everyone's parenting journey is different, I have found that my kid responds very well to be supported by her family. She is more resilient at school when we are a safe place for her to land -- she has more "grit" and determination out in the world if we don't force her to have it just to function in our family. It's like our unconditional love and acceptance of her mistakes and faults serve as a little talisman out in the world, so she can figure things out deal with adversity. She knows at the end of the day she will return home to a place where she is loved and accepted. Just my two cents.

The sports question is sort of beside the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sports are not the only thing that build grit and resilience.

Also you could argue that kids in sports full time have such a curated life of school/practice/competition that they don't have time to face situations that may be unusual or present new problems that they have to solve. Sports are challenging, but they are the same sorts of challenges over and over.

I believe the lack of resilience (which I agree is a problem) has more to do with schools not having due dates on homework and other assignments (and I'm an educator), plus parents that swoop in and help when their kids are facing an issue.

+1

I grew up lower income to immigrant parents. Didn't get involved in organized team sports, though I played some recreationally with friends and church groups.

Believe me, I have resilience.

Also, in the other thread OP mentioned, I don't get the sense that the OP comes from a rich background. I get the sense that that OP's parents are immigrants and see an Ivy league education as the ticket to the American Dream. But, I disagree with that OP's parents and with OP. An ivy league education may buy you prestige and a high paying job, but that may not buy you happiness and peace with yourself. Not everyone strives to want that kind of thing. Some people are happy with just enough and not too much stress in their lives. That's me and my spouse. We have a HHI of $300K. We could make more. We could be execs by now, but we opted to not go that route because neither of us want that kind of stress or life. Throughout my career, my managers kept asking me if I wanted to go for a promotion, to be a manger.. my response was always, "No, thank you. That's not where my heart is." Side note: one of these managers also decided they no longer wanted to be a manager. Too much stress and BS in management.

I do agree that too many young people don't have grit and resilience, but that's not due to a lack of organized sports. That's due to society catering too much to them.. ie, everyone gets a trophy for just participating; do overs for tests; grade inflation; helicopter parenting.. just to name a few.

I grew up a latchkey kid and basically raised myself. Had to navigate school and college on my own. My story is not unique. Lots of people, immigrant and non immigrant alike, have this same story.

I hussled and landed a six figure job not even 10 years out of my no name state college. The thing that made me have grit was 1. that's just my personality 2. circumstances 3. I hated being poor and never wanted to go back to that.

We are teaching our kids to be resilient in other ways. Don't need organized sports for that.

[Anonymous]

My brother was in a sports but quit his full ride to Duke due to stress, actually undiagnosed anxiety, too 7 years to graduate college.

Graduated #1in his law school once he got treatment.

I actually hire waiters/waitresses, front desk at dr offices, bankers…, that builds grit!

[Anonymous]

What about the people who can’t afford to put the kids in sports? Will those kids lack “grit and resilience”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP, when you are looking to hire individuals with “ grit, resilience, character, the ability to work through tough times, and the ability to bounce back from failure when things aren't going your way,” I assume you are especially interested in people like people with disabilities or Dreamers. You know, people who have faced actual challenges every single day rather than how to behave when you miss the penalty kick or get benched for the better player a few times a season.

+1 my HS DD with ADHD has no interest in sports but shows grit and resilience everyday just getting through her school work and has a lot of experience communicating with her teachers that I certainly never got as a student who sailed through HS with little difficulty. She also just spent the summer working round the clock at a sleep-away camp, a physically and emotionally exhausting job for her but she loved it and will do it again next year.

Some sports people need to step out of their bubble and see that there's more going on out here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens and young adults these days are WAY too sheltered, spoiled, lazy, immature, and lack grit and resilience (the two most important characteristics for success!). I put my kids into sports not to help with college admissions or scholarships, but because sports participation builds grit, resilience, character, the ability to work through tough times, and the ability to bounce back from failure when things aren't going your way.

I'm also a hiring manager and oversee recent college grads/workers in their 20s (early Gen Z/late Gen Y). The VAST majority of people in this age range lack grit and resilience, and they are a major PITA for most workplaces. The sheer lack of grit, resilience, and the ability to persevere when times are tough among recent college grads these days is depressingly low, so I know by pushing my kids in sports (even though I know they're nowhere near good enough to get recruited), I'm doing them a world of favors.

I don't normally post on the Sports forum -- I mainly stick to the Jobs forum and the Real Estate forum. However, this post in the Jobs & Careers forum stuck out to me:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1071777.page

TL DR: Spoiled Ivy League kid is pissed she has to take out $80k in loans and doesn't want to stay at her (elite, prestigious) Ivy since it's "too stressful" and "too competitive" and "too cutthroat" and yadda yadda yadda all that BS. It is painfully obvious that this girl's parents never put her in team sports (or any team activity, really) where she had to fail and bounce back from disappointing losses to build grit and resilience. This spoiled young woman is unable to bounce back from her negativity and constant whining to rise above and lead and create a positive outlook on an objectively amazing opportunity that 99% of Americans would kill to have. But no, like so many sheltered DMV rich kids I see, she insists on having everything perfectly catered to her snowflake sensibilities.

And THAT is why I put my kids in sports -- to build a competitive spirit, to learn to win and lose gracefully, and to build their ability to stick through undesirably situations. I know that they won't end up like the navel-gazing OP of the thread above since I push them in team sports.

\

I cannot take seriously any post that starts with "kids these days . . . "

And I have a kid who is an athlete performing at a very high level and aiming for college.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, sports parents are the literal worst. So simple-minded.

[Anonymous]

My kid played at Carnegie Hall. You want to talk about grit?

My other kid has multiple medical and psychiatric diagnoses. The barely visible kind people like to diss on. Of course he needs shelter and nurture, otherwise he wouldn't survive. He can't play sports, he can't play an instrument. But you know what?

HE HAS MORE RESILIENCE THAN ANYONE ELSE.

Because he's had to fail so many times, pick himself up and push forward again. He fails daily and tries again. Things that are easy for others are hard for him. And yet he persists, because he has to. His mental strength is enormous. He has a very healthy outlook on life.

Shame on you OP. You have no understanding of the world at all. There are people on this earth who have had to overcome more challenges than you or your kids have ever had to face.

If you can't be humble, at least shut up.

[Anonymous]

OP can’t even get anyone to back her up in the Sports forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens and young adults these days are WAY too sheltered, spoiled, lazy, immature, and lack grit and resilience (the two most important characteristics for success!). I put my kids into sports not to help with college admissions or scholarships, but because sports participation builds grit, resilience, character, the ability to work through tough times, and the ability to bounce back from failure when things aren't going your way.

I'm also a hiring manager and oversee recent college grads/workers in their 20s (early Gen Z/late Gen Y). The VAST majority of people in this age range lack grit and resilience, and they are a major PITA for most workplaces. The sheer lack of grit, resilience, and the ability to persevere when times are tough among recent college grads these days is depressingly low, so I know by pushing my kids in sports (even though I know they're nowhere near good enough to get recruited), I'm doing them a world of favors.

I don't normally post on the Sports forum -- I mainly stick to the Jobs forum and the Real Estate forum. However, this post in the Jobs & Careers forum stuck out to me:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1071777.page

TL DR: Spoiled Ivy League kid is pissed she has to take out $80k in loans and doesn't want to stay at her (elite, prestigious) Ivy since it's "too stressful" and "too competitive" and "too cutthroat" and yadda yadda yadda all that BS. It is painfully obvious that this girl's parents never put her in team sports (or any team activity, really) where she had to fail and bounce back from disappointing losses to build grit and resilience. This spoiled young woman is unable to bounce back from her negativity and constant whining to rise above and lead and create a positive outlook on an objectively amazing opportunity that 99% of Americans would kill to have. But no, like so many sheltered DMV rich kids I see, she insists on having everything perfectly catered to her snowflake sensibilities.

And THAT is why I put my kids in sports -- to build a competitive spirit, to learn to win and lose gracefully, and to build their ability to stick through undesirably situations. I know that they won't end up like the navel-gazing OP of the thread above since I push them in team sports.

You are a POS OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, sports parents are the literal worst. So simple-minded.

You’ve clearly never been to a chess competition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about the people who can’t afford to put the kids in sports? Will those kids lack “grit and resilience”?

OP is a privileged, clueless person who doesn't understand that resilient people come from all different kinds of backgrounds. OP can't imagine how someone they are interviewing may not have come from a family who could afford/provide team sports for their kid.

OP probably only assumes they have "grit" but have never lived in poverty, parents who couldn't speak the language to help with HW or navigate the school system; never had SN challenges, health challenges. If OP had any of the aforementioned challenges, I do wonder if OP would have the grit and resilience to be in that position to interview others.

I don't think this thread is going the way that OP assumed it would go.

A person who went to a no name university, worked their way through college, didn't play sports, comes from a background that is not privileged probably has more grit than a kid who played team sports whose parents have college degrees and have the means to pay for team sports.

I hope that OP learns from this thread.

[Anonymous]

I think OP's argument is not fully baked, but isn't completely wrong, either.

I have a very whiny Gen Z employee who definitely did not ever play sports and definitely has no resilience. Not sure sports would have fixed her issues, though.

[Anonymous]

So... is OP just pretending to be a sports-obsessed parent just to illustrate how crazy and out-of-touch such parents can be?It's actually all sarcastic, right?


Because if not...YIKES.