This is why we put our kids in sports!

[Anonymous]

Teens and young adults these days are WAY too sheltered, spoiled, lazy, immature, and lack grit and resilience (the two most important characteristics for success!). I put my kids into sports not to help with college admissions or scholarships, but because sports participation builds grit, resilience, character, the ability to work through tough times, and the ability to bounce back from failure when things aren't going your way.

I'm also a hiring manager and oversee recent college grads/workers in their 20s (early Gen Z/late Gen Y). The VAST majority of people in this age range lack grit and resilience, and they are a major PITA for most workplaces. The sheer lack of grit, resilience, and the ability to persevere when times are tough among recent college grads these days is depressingly low, so I know by pushing my kids in sports (even though I know they're nowhere near good enough to get recruited), I'm doing them a world of favors.

I don't normally post on the Sports forum -- I mainly stick to the Jobs forum and the Real Estate forum. However, this post in the Jobs & Careers forum stuck out to me:

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1071777.page

TL DR: Spoiled Ivy League kid is pissed she has to take out $80k in loans and doesn't want to stay at her (elite, prestigious) Ivy since it's "too stressful" and "too competitive" and "too cutthroat" and yadda yadda yadda all that BS. It is painfully obvious that this girl's parents never put her in team sports (or any team activity, really) where she had to fail and bounce back from disappointing losses to build grit and resilience. This spoiled young woman is unable to bounce back from her negativity and constant whining to rise above and lead and create a positive outlook on an objectively amazing opportunity that 99% of Americans would kill to have. But no, like so many sheltered DMV rich kids I see, she insists on having everything perfectly catered to her snowflake sensibilities.

And THAT is why I put my kids in sports -- to build a competitive spirit, to learn to win and lose gracefully, and to build their ability to stick through undesirably situations. I know that they won't end up like the navel-gazing OP of the thread above since I push them in team sports.

[Anonymous]

Agree 1000%. My kids aren't getting scholarships. But at least they are getting life skills essential to being a good employee.

[Anonymous]

Just remember that many non-athletes have things they’re also dedicated to- maybe it’s their instrument or a job or carrying for a family member. There are many ways to build grit and resilience, and for most people it doesn’t come through youth sports.

[Anonymous]

Sports are not the only thing that build grit and resilience.

Also you could argue that kids in sports full time have such a curated life of school/practice/competition that they don't have time to face situations that may be unusual or present new problems that they have to solve. Sports are challenging, but they are the same sorts of challenges over and over.

I believe the lack of resilience (which I agree is a problem) has more to do with schools not having due dates on homework and other assignments (and I'm an educator), plus parents that swoop in and help when their kids are facing an issue.

[Anonymous]

Yeah just ignore your kids' wishes if they are not athletic.

[Anonymous]

You can “put your kids in sports” when they’re little, but at a certain point, if they have other interests/passions, or they’re just not very good at them, you can’t force it. Fortunately, there are lots of other ways for young people to built grit and resilience. As for learning healthy competitive spirit and how to lose gracefully, I just hope the kids have learned to tune out the crazy parents on the sidelines. Maybe they didn’t have enough sports in their childhoods.

[Anonymous]

I wish sports had given my son all of those things, but 12 years of sport never managed to change his personality. You wouldn't be surprised to learn that he was consistently the slowest on the team. He's the least competitive kid in the world, but also the nicest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish sports had given my son all of those things, but 12 years of sport never managed to change his personality. You wouldn't be surprised to learn that he was consistently the slowest on the team. He's the least competitive kid in the world, but also the nicest.

Wait, forcing my child to be the person I want them to be isn't going to work?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are dropping the ball as a hiring manager if you aren’t assessing things like grit and perseverance before you make an offer. You might want to get some training and practice those important leader skills with a coach.

[Anonymous]

Um if you had read that other thread, I think you would realize her problems were not going to be solved by swim team (parents pushing her to fit their ideal and now her self esteem is so low that she can’t please them).

[Anonymous]

This is idiotic. I have 2 kids (both boys fwiw.) One is a sports fanatic and one couldn't care less. The non-sporty kid is calm, confident, capable, and heading off to a great college. The athlete is a great student and has a wonderful heart but is also super anxious and high maintenance. Sports are great for kids who love them, but the idea that your kid will automatically become resilient by playing sports - or that kids who don't play sports can't handle pressure - is just ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Such a simple minded OP.

[Anonymous]

This is such a vast generalization of a post. My sportiest kid is my least resilient in that she has achieved a ton of success easily and plays at such a high level she doesn’t try a lot of things she isn’t good at (no time left). I think building resilience can happen in sports but it is not automatic. It can also happen in a lot of other activities too. More about the characteristics of the work than the type of activity imo.

[Anonymous]

My son who is in medical school to be a trauma surgeon never played sports. He has true grit. You can't generalize about kids.

[Anonymous]

I agree to some of this. Kids need to learn it’s important to have a good work ethic, no matter how it’s done. Mine have always been in sports because they wanted to play.

I played sports at the rec level as a child and in high school. I was okay but was not competitive at all. It was social for me. I didn’t care if we won or lost at all. I’m like that as adult with sports and when I watch them. The same translates to things like board games or trivia nights. I just don’t care.

But…I went to college, always took pride in any job I had even as a teen and have a successful career. I have always been a hard worker and responsible. Sports didn’t teach me grit. I think a lot is personality. I could say my parents taught me grit from seeing them work but not all of siblings turned out like this.