If you’re staying together for the kids, do you acknowledge it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. Marriage counselor hadn’t said explicitly to divorce but she’s clearly as disgusted with DH as I am. Hinted that divorce would be hard on my 5 year old, at least in junior high DS would be able to understand better. I’m not going to make it until the kids are in college. Maybe I can fake it a few more years? Anyone else do this?

Best way is to start looking for a new partner discretely right now.

I came to realize this when DD is 3. Within 2 years I found a nice man who I am very compatible on so many levels. Then got married within 3 months of divorce. Especially if you want more children no point in waiting until divorce to find a husband.

It also has the advantage of taking your mind away from your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your therapist didn’t say any of the things you implied.

Be more specific

Implied that the counselor thinks she should divorce but not because of the children. Never said.
Implied that the counselor is disgusted with husband. Never said and could be disgusted with wife just as well.
Implied that divorce would be hard on children because of their age. Never said.

Original post says that she didn’t explicitly say divorce. I wrote that in there. She did in fact say divorce would be hard on a 5 year old, junior high would be better. Yes she did say those words.

So the counselor never said divorce or that she was disgusted with op’s husband. These are words op is using to make her “case” sound better. Op likely disgusts the counselor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. Marriage counselor hadn’t said explicitly to divorce but she’s clearly as disgusted with DH as I am. Hinted that divorce would be hard on my 5 year old, at least in junior high DS would be able to understand better. I’m not going to make it until the kids are in college. Maybe I can fake it a few more years? Anyone else do this?

Best way is to start looking for a new partner discretely right now.

I came to realize this when DD is 3. Within 2 years I found a nice man who I am very compatible on so many levels. Then got married within 3 months of divorce. Especially if you want more children no point in waiting until divorce to find a husband.

It also has the advantage of taking your mind away from your DH.

Troll post. The post is asking for advice on the intolerable marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. Marriage counselor hadn’t said explicitly to divorce but she’s clearly as disgusted with DH as I am. Hinted that divorce would be hard on my 5 year old, at least in junior high DS would be able to understand better. I’m not going to make it until the kids are in college. Maybe I can fake it a few more years? Anyone else do this?

Best way is to start looking for a new partner discretely right now.

I came to realize this when DD is 3. Within 2 years I found a nice man who I am very compatible on so many levels. Then got married within 3 months of divorce. Especially if you want more children no point in waiting until divorce to find a husband.

It also has the advantage of taking your mind away from your DH.

Where'd you find him? Does he worry about you cheating on him the same way?

[Anonymous]

You don't sound like any prize either, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't sound like any prize either, OP.

That’s what I thought as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your therapist didn’t say any of the things you implied.

Be more specific

Implied that the counselor thinks she should divorce but not because of the children. Never said.
Implied that the counselor is disgusted with husband. Never said and could be disgusted with wife just as well.
Implied that divorce would be hard on children because of their age. Never said.

Original post says that she didn’t explicitly say divorce. I wrote that in there. She did in fact say divorce would be hard on a 5 year old, junior high would be better. Yes she did say those words.

So the counselor never said divorce or that she was disgusted with op’s husband. These are words op is using to make her “case” sound better. Op likely disgusts the counselor.

Sorry, I’m OP, and this isn’t the case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't sound like any prize either, OP.

That’s what I thought as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't sound like any prize either, OP.

That’s what I thought as well.

Because I’m worried about my kids but can’t take the bad treatment? Thanks

[Anonymous]

My parents divorced when I was around three so I have absolutely no memory of them ever being together. I had friends whose parents divorced in fifth grade, another couple in seventh and a few in high school; they seemed to take it so hard whereas I was certainly aware that I didn’t live in a traditional house but I did not witness any of the turmoil and I came through puberty and young adulthood with a slightly lighter load.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all. Marriage counselor hadn’t said explicitly to divorce but she’s clearly as disgusted with DH as I am. Hinted that divorce would be hard on my 5 year old, at least in junior high DS would be able to understand better. I’m not going to make it until the kids are in college. Maybe I can fake it a few more years? Anyone else do this?

As a teacher who has seen kids of all ages go through this, I would say 5 is one of the easiest ages. Middle school would be harder on the kid.

Why is this?

[Anonymous]

I think the reason the counselor might have said this is because it's too hard on the mom if a kid doesn't have any self-sufficiency and the care and money for kids just tends to go downhill once people divorce. But I'm just guessing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your therapist didn’t say any of the things you implied.

Be more specific

Implied that the counselor thinks she should divorce but not because of the children. Never said.
Implied that the counselor is disgusted with husband. Never said and could be disgusted with wife just as well.
Implied that divorce would be hard on children because of their age. Never said.

Original post says that she didn’t explicitly say divorce. I wrote that in there. She did in fact say divorce would be hard on a 5 year old, junior high would be better. Yes she did say those words.

So the counselor never said divorce or that she was disgusted with op’s husband. These are words op is using to make her “case” sound better. Op likely disgusts the counselor.

Sorry, I’m OP, and this isn’t the case

Whatever.

[Anonymous]

I waited until all kids were in college or beyond. It was hard to do, but glad for their sake that they had a drama-free adolescence. I’ve never looked back after leaving a dead marriage.

[Anonymous]

Picking the right spouse would’ve been the right thing to do.