Is “marrying well” a thing for men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a thread with a woman trying to get her son to “marry well”. I don’t know if I’m wrong, but as someone well off, it doesn’t seem like men have shown me extra interest because of it? I make 100k in my late twenties, no debt, and parents are worth around 15 million. I’m not conventionally pretty and men aren’t lining up to date me. I mean I don’t show off my wealth but my salary is easy to figure out and after a few dates it’s probably apparent I have family money. Are there actually men who want to marry up wealth wise? I guess I’m surprised.

Statistically heirs get about 25% of family money. Everything else is lost in divorces, remarriages, trust fights, legal and management fees. So don't think you would be worth $15mm unless both of your parents are already 85 y.o.

You need to have assets titled to your name, and a higher income to consider yourself a candidate for a man who wants to marry up. You haven't earned anything yet, and your salary is low. Inheritance is also separate property, and your parents won't like it commingled.

Do you realize how uncommon it is for a woman to be making six figures in her twenties without student loans? Are you delusional?

Pretty common if you didn’t go to a shit tier school and majored in something decent and had even lower middle class parents who were education oriented first.

Or if you are hot and work in pharma sales, software sales, comms for finance industry, hr for finance in nyc…

Indian-American women with mid tier engineer dads who work for state gov or local contractors and stay-at-home moms go to t20s or flagship state universities all the time and graduate debt free and easily make 6 figs in their twenties.





…

[Anonymous]

Oh yes. Tobey Maguire and Jeremy Meeks did especially well. Men are hungry too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a thread with a woman trying to get her son to “marry well”. I don’t know if I’m wrong, but as someone well off, it doesn’t seem like men have shown me extra interest because of it? I make 100k in my late twenties, no debt, and parents are worth around 15 million. I’m not conventionally pretty and men aren’t lining up to date me. I mean I don’t show off my wealth but my salary is easy to figure out and after a few dates it’s probably apparent I have family money. Are there actually men who want to marry up wealth wise? I guess I’m surprised.

Statistically heirs get about 25% of family money. Everything else is lost in divorces, remarriages, trust fights, legal and management fees. So don't think you would be worth $15mm unless both of your parents are already 85 y.o.

You need to have assets titled to your name, and a higher income to consider yourself a candidate for a man who wants to marry up. You haven't earned anything yet, and your salary is low. Inheritance is also separate property, and your parents won't like it commingled.

Do you realize how uncommon it is for a woman to be making six figures in her twenties without student loans? Are you delusional?

I was making 85k back in 2006 when I just moved to the US at my first job. I was not fully fluent in English but in a good/tech field. I worked for Miscrosoft though. But still 100K nowadays is close to a startgin salary for recent college grads in many fields, so she's not a "marry up" catch unless her parents are 85

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a thread with a woman trying to get her son to “marry well”. I don’t know if I’m wrong, but as someone well off, it doesn’t seem like men have shown me extra interest because of it? I make 100k in my late twenties, no debt, and parents are worth around 15 million. I’m not conventionally pretty and men aren’t lining up to date me. I mean I don’t show off my wealth but my salary is easy to figure out and after a few dates it’s probably apparent I have family money. Are there actually men who want to marry up wealth wise? I guess I’m surprised.

Statistically heirs get about 25% of family money. Everything else is lost in divorces, remarriages, trust fights, legal and management fees. So don't think you would be worth $15mm unless both of your parents are already 85 y.o.

You need to have assets titled to your name, and a higher income to consider yourself a candidate for a man who wants to marry up. You haven't earned anything yet, and your salary is low. Inheritance is also separate property, and your parents won't like it commingled.

Do you realize how uncommon it is for a woman to be making six figures in her twenties without student loans? Are you delusional?

I was making 85k back in 2006 when I just moved to the US at my first job. I was not fully fluent in English but in a good/tech field. I worked for Miscrosoft though. But still 100K nowadays is close to a startgin salary for recent college grads in many fields, so she's not a "marry up" catch unless her parents are 85

Indian?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a thread with a woman trying to get her son to “marry well”. I don’t know if I’m wrong, but as someone well off, it doesn’t seem like men have shown me extra interest because of it? I make 100k in my late twenties, no debt, and parents are worth around 15 million. I’m not conventionally pretty and men aren’t lining up to date me. I mean I don’t show off my wealth but my salary is easy to figure out and after a few dates it’s probably apparent I have family money. Are there actually men who want to marry up wealth wise? I guess I’m surprised.

Statistically heirs get about 25% of family money. Everything else is lost in divorces, remarriages, trust fights, legal and management fees. So don't think you would be worth $15mm unless both of your parents are already 85 y.o.

You need to have assets titled to your name, and a higher income to consider yourself a candidate for a man who wants to marry up. You haven't earned anything yet, and your salary is low. Inheritance is also separate property, and your parents won't like it commingled.

Do you realize how uncommon it is for a woman to be making six figures in her twenties without student loans? Are you delusional?

I was making 85k back in 2006 when I just moved to the US at my first job. I was not fully fluent in English but in a good/tech field. I worked for Miscrosoft though. But still 100K nowadays is close to a startgin salary for recent college grads in many fields, so she's not a "marry up" catch unless her parents are 85

Indian?

Russian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he’s not, you making the first move is unlikely to change it.

Now you know how men feel.

[Anonymous]

Marrying well for men is 100% defined by looks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marrying well for men is 100% defined by looks.

Agree. Men care more about looks and also as someone else mentioned, temperament/agreeableness.

[Anonymous]

I went to boarding school on scholarship, and I was shocked how money-oriented everyone was. It was like feudal princes trying to expand their holdings. They talked about how girls were beneath them unless they were of a certain class, and by class they meant money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying well for men is 100% defined by looks.

Agree. Men care more about looks and also as someone else mentioned, temperament/agreeableness.

Men mature as they age. When they are younger, looks are everything. As they get older and have dated some hot duds, they want more than looks. DH’s first wife was gorgeous and much prettier than me. I’m 40lbs heavier and do not dress well. But she never wanted to have sex and became aloof to him throughout their marriage. DH makes much more money now and he married me. He could get a much prettier, younger woman. But we get along great and he tells me he’s happier than he’s ever been.

You’re just young. Give it some time or look for men a little bit older.

[Anonymous]

Only for the lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying well for men is 100% defined by looks.

Agree. Men care more about looks and also as someone else mentioned, temperament/agreeableness.

Men mature as they age. When they are younger, looks are everything. As they get older and have dated some hot duds, they want more than looks. DH’s first wife was gorgeous and much prettier than me. I’m 40lbs heavier and do not dress well. But she never wanted to have sex and became aloof to him throughout their marriage. DH makes much more money now and he married me. He could get a much prettier, younger woman. But we get along great and he tells me he’s happier than he’s ever been.

You’re just young. Give it some time or look for men a little bit older.

I guess men could look for women who are “gorgeous and much prettier” “agreeable” and “like to have sex”. How much money DW makes is secondary..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marrying well for men is 100% defined by looks.

Agree. Men care more about looks and also as someone else mentioned, temperament/agreeableness.

Men mature as they age. When they are younger, looks are everything. As they get older and have dated some hot duds, they want more than looks. DH’s first wife was gorgeous and much prettier than me. I’m 40lbs heavier and do not dress well. But she never wanted to have sex and became aloof to him throughout their marriage. DH makes much more money now and he married me. He could get a much prettier, younger woman. But we get along great and he tells me he’s happier than he’s ever been.

You’re just young. Give it some time or look for men a little bit older.

I guess men could look for women who are “gorgeous and much prettier” “agreeable” and “like to have sex”. How much money DW makes is secondary..

This is true, but it’s also stupid, and many men come to regret it.

[Anonymous]

I posted on the other thread that we have a 10 figure net worth. I meant 10m. My daughter is 5.

You sound like you are in a similar $ background as us. Guys who are marrying up are looking to marry much wealthier than you or my daughter. That isn’t enough money to be considered marrying up.

In my experience, guys have to be physically attracted. That is first. My BIL was hanging out with a billionaire’s daughter and we got kind of excited and thought it would be nice to have some nice in laws. The rich girl really liked my BIL but he just want attracted to her. For a while, he thought her lifestyle was cool.

[Anonymous]

100K isn't impressive, so I'm not sure why that would be notable if money is all you have.