Are kids who go to private school better behaved in general?

[Anonymous]

No and the kids of employees of the school are some of the worst. There are no absolutes but don't expect a utopia.

[Anonymous]

I think the private school kids are savvier about their behavior.
They engage less in the kinds of obvious bad behavior that attract attention (e.g., being loud/rude in hallways, talking throughout performances), and probably are more capable, as a whole, of displaying good manners around adults.

But they're equal to or better at pulling off sneaky bad behavior (e.g., drinking before/during night-time events, bullying people outside of their clique).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bad behavior kids are already kicked out so hard to know.

Please tell me what school this is. In my experience schools just ignore it, especially if parents donate a lot in money or time. It’s a huge detriment to the kid and other students, but happens all the time.

Well, depends on how you define bad behavior.

At our middle school public, there are kids who are regularly in fights in the halls during class times, walk into classes (not their own) and disturb everyone, shout, threaten etc. There are kids who swear and spit and kids who simply get up and leave class when they feel like it. They will also steal items and threaten kids.

There's also plenty of teasing/taunting/ bullying as well. And that you may see at my other kid's private. But you don't see the above behavior at their school, and I doubt at yours.

[Anonymous]

This thread is delightful and so messed up. Our private is terrified of reputational risk and will only remove a kid for really extreme behaviors. My daughter had a kid in her class this year that disrupted things every day. Emotionally needy kid who constantly ruined things for others. Physically aggressive and accused by one family of being sexually aggressive with their daughter. Aaaand, he's returning next year. We have mostly been in private but I think there are a lot of private school kids who are there because they couldn't hack public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Better behaved in the classroom? Sure, due to a variety of factors (stricter policies, kids with more resources and oversight, etc.).

Better behaved outside of school? No.

This X1000. They have more direct interaction with adults and more quickly figure out how to impress adults, while exploiting their privilege and access to money outside of school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is delightful and so messed up. Our private is terrified of reputational risk and will only remove a kid for really extreme behaviors. My daughter had a kid in her class this year that disrupted things every day. Emotionally needy kid who constantly ruined things for others. Physically aggressive and accused by one family of being sexually aggressive with their daughter. Aaaand, he's returning next year. We have mostly been in private but I think there are a lot of private school kids who are there because they couldn't hack public.

But what do you think happens in public though? Those kids aren't removed ever. They will clear the classroom when a disturbed kid has a meltdown, forcing all 24 other kids to miss out on learning while the single child tantrums. I think you misunderstand how "extreme" behaviors can be.

[Anonymous]

Private is better, but obviously nowhere near perfect. The main difference is the ability to keep the bottom 20% in terms of behavior out. If you compared the top 80% of public vs. private there would be no difference. But private schools are better at lowering the number of bottom 20% out of the schools. Though this does not mean they have no problem students. Just that they have fewer and more resources to keep them from disrupting the other 20%.

[Anonymous]

In my experience -- YES!

The reason is pretty simple: private schools do not have to accept (or keep) disrespectful, troublemaking, or otherwise misbehaving students.

[Anonymous]

If you knew how much stuff gets swept under the rug, you would never ask this question. The kids are the same at public or private in this area because of the socioeconomic. There are just as many wealthy parents at the public schools who can afford to keep snowflakes indiscretions out of WaPo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience -- YES!

The reason is pretty simple: private schools do not have to accept (or keep) disrespectful, troublemaking, or otherwise misbehaving students.

This is so FALSE. Beyond FALSE. The number of kids who get away with godawful sh!t at private schools is staggering. There are fewer kids in private than public so it may SEEM like that. As a private school parent for the last 14 years, I can't even count the number of HORRIBLE children who get admitted because the parents guarantee a certain amount of money. I know FOUR families who's misbehaving miscreants are "transferring" to other schools outside of the application process because of money.

The kids don't get kicked out. And the kids who should not be admitted are admitted because the Heads around here are competing to build the biggest endowment. Lots of BDE amongst the private administration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience -- YES!

The reason is pretty simple: private schools do not have to accept (or keep) disrespectful, troublemaking, or otherwise misbehaving students.

This is so FALSE. Beyond FALSE. The number of kids who get away with godawful sh!t at private schools is staggering. There are fewer kids in private than public so it may SEEM like that. As a private school parent for the last 14 years, I can't even count the number of HORRIBLE children who get admitted because the parents guarantee a certain amount of money. I know FOUR families who's misbehaving miscreants are "transferring" to other schools outside of the application process because of money.

The kids don't get kicked out. And the kids who should not be admitted are admitted because the Heads around here are competing to build the biggest endowment. Lots of BDE amongst the private administration.

*whose

[Anonymous]

Poorly behaved kids are everywhere because parents are everywhere. STbe type of schooling has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience -- YES!

The reason is pretty simple: private schools do not have to accept (or keep) disrespectful, troublemaking, or otherwise misbehaving students.

This is so FALSE. Beyond FALSE. The number of kids who get away with godawful sh!t at private schools is staggering. There are fewer kids in private than public so it may SEEM like that. As a private school parent for the last 14 years, I can't even count the number of HORRIBLE children who get admitted because the parents guarantee a certain amount of money. I know FOUR families who's misbehaving miscreants are "transferring" to other schools outside of the application process because of money.

The kids don't get kicked out. And the kids who should not be admitted are admitted because the Heads around here are competing to build the biggest endowment. Lots of BDE amongst the private administration.

Please give examples of horrible children.

[Anonymous]

In my limited experience (1 ES kid who did 3 years public then 2 private), there is less disruptive behavior in the class because the student teacher ratio is so much better. The kids get more behavior coaching as needed. Our private does have kids with special needs and behavior issues, but they’re very well supported. My kid tells me occasionally about 1 kid who is disruptive so this isn’t just lack of awareness on my part.

But outside of school l agree there is no difference at least ES age…that depends on combo of patents (nurture) and personality of the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. In fact, they’re more entitled and feel they can get away with more bad behavior.

This. The difference is private schools can boot them if they are too badly behaved. Public schools can't.

The bad part is that if the kid is a child of a huge donor, that kid will stay for the duration, regardless of behavior.