Couples who keep separate finances - how do you decide who pays when you go out to eat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I own the house and pay the mortgage, utilities, maintenance costs. DH pays for kid stuff, vacations, dinners out, etc. Or I pay. It really doesn’t matter. Whoever goes to the grocery store/target/whatever pays there.

Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

DH--he pays all food bills.

[Anonymous]

My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

+1

[Anonymous]

We wrestle for it. Keeps things interesting.

[Anonymous]

Meh. Take turns. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Whoever feels like it pays. But joint costs are tallied up against a joint account, so the person who doesn't actually whip out a card will still pay for half in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

+1

I’m sure this works for you. But I just can’t imagine the dynamic where I say “I’ll get this one” to my spouse. That seems very different than having a joint account where you contribute different amounts etc. I don’t want to think about separate finances every time we spend money. That’s like a casual friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband usually pays - he earns more and is also just easy with money - but sometimes I will pick up the check just to do it.

+1

I’m sure this works for you. But I just can’t imagine the dynamic where I say “I’ll get this one” to my spouse. That seems very different than having a joint account where you contribute different amounts etc. I don’t want to think about separate finances every time we spend money. That’s like a casual friend.

I say it all the time but in the "bad dad joke" way. Because the money all comes from the same account. That's the joke. It's not a good one, but I say it.

[Anonymous]

I think usually we use the joint credit card but one person might pick it up if it’s their treat for some reason. It doesn’t matter, it’s all our money. The “separate” finances are mostly laziness and it just works for us.

[Anonymous]

DH pays 99% of the time we go out unless its his bday or a special gift. He makes 2x what I make and has no debt so it just makes sense.

FWIW we have separate finances bc I have student loan and credit card debt. We will combine once those are paid off in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH pays 99% of the time we go out unless its his bday or a special gift. He makes 2x what I make and has no debt so it just makes sense.

FWIW we have separate finances bc I have student loan and credit card debt. We will combine once those are paid off in a few years.

That sounds crazy. You are married right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I own the house and pay the mortgage, utilities, maintenance costs. DH pays for kid stuff, vacations, dinners out, etc. Or I pay. It really doesn’t matter. Whoever goes to the grocery store/target/whatever pays there.

Troll?

Why? We have a split something like this. It works fine, probably because we have plenty of money and were older/established when we got married. And neither of us is good at budgeting so we don’t track too closely unless there’s a problem.

[Anonymous]

We keep separate finances because I came into the marriage with significantly greater assets. That being said, I pay for 90% of our expenses so my husband can build wealth.

Eating out is the one thing I really don't value right now since we have young kids and it's just not that enjoyable of an experience. If he wants us to go out, he pays.

[Anonymous]

We co-own our house but otherwise everything is separate. If we are out together as a couple or a family DH always pays for everything. Maybe patriarchy in action.

He pays the mortgage and childcare but I pay all the bills, property tax, auto insurance etc. I guess our finances are separate in name only, we are totally commingled and not really counting beans. We could get a new account and both contribute to it every month etc but what would that really get us?