My PPD is getting bad. Any advice?
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Anonymous
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OP you NEED to get night help so you can sleep. A night nanny, a friend, family member whatever. If you can, go sleep at a hotel or a friends. It won't totally solve the PPD but you will have a clearer head to take more necessary steps.
Both your OB and PCP can write scripts for antidepressants. Do it now. They take a few weeks to begin working in your system. |
Anonymous
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OP. I have an appointment with my PCP next week to discuss medication, and I’m looking around for a therapist.
I’ve also come up with a list of things I need from my H to take the pressure off of me, mostly him stepping up and doing 50% of everything, 50% of dinners, dog care, housework, etc. and having clear expectations of what each task entails (eg dinner = emptying dishwasher, cleaning pots and pans, wiping down counters, etc). Hoping it helps. |
Anonymous
| Do you have any family who can come over and help and let you sleep? Sleep makes a world of difference. Hang in there! |
Anonymous
| Try teletherapy, there are a few platforms like SonderMind and BetterHelp that can connect you with a therapist via Zoom, etc. Also, yes, definitely prioritize sleep over all else right now. And be blunt and brutally honest with your closest friends. If my friend (even a not-close one) told me she was struggling with PPD as a new mom, I would drive over there and give her a break. |
Anonymous
| Imo its not the babies its the freaking THREE dogs! I say that with empathy not judgment. Their caretaking is at such odds with newborn and baby care. We rehomed our dog with relatives temporarily after baby 2. Is that an option? No shedding, no walk guilt, no dangerous baby dog multitasking outings (dogs pull on leash, get you off balance etc), no vet appts, no tick flea meds. Is this an option? Your sanity and safety are paramount. |
Anonymous
I so badly wish I could teleport to your home with my Miele vac, bucket of rags and box of Tide (go clean co shoutout) and have you return to a clean home with laundry folded neat as a pin. I am a terrible cook but I could do a Mrs. Doubtfire style trick ordering takeout and plating it gorgeously. |
Anonymous
OP. You are so sweet 
I’ll give an update. I am also the OP of this thread: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1065173.page Basically, my H has been using his depression as an excuse to not do much. I recently discovered that was a cover for excessive weed use. So basically he was lazy because he was stoned all the time, AND always absent because he was sneaking off to get high. It all came to a head on Friday when I came home early and found him smoking around the baby. And surprisingly, this has helped my PPD tremendously. I now know the problem isn’t me. It’s not that im not a good enough mom or wife, it’s not that im lazy, it’s not that something is wrong with my productivity or organization skills. It’s all because of him. And knowing I won’t need to clean up after him anymore, bust my ass while I watch him play on his phone, deal with his complaining about how I’m not doing enough - it’s a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I did see a doctor and got antidepressants, and I’ve started doing some therapy on my own until I find someone. But already I feel a million times better. Thanks everyone
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Anonymous
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H is the real problem here. So much of the pressure on OP could be alleviated by him. Is marital counseling an option? Someone who could talk with him about division of labor, maybe help you make a responsibility sharing chart/list.
Do you belong to a synagogue/church/etc? You could tell the congregational leader what’s going and try to get them to read him the riot act. |
Anonymous
| You are making one bad choice after another. Now, you need to start making some good ones: Get childcare, separate from your H, give away or put down the 3 dogs |
Anonymous
| Rehome the dogs. |