Not sure how to respond to DD
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Anonymous
I want to know this too! It sounds like DD might not be jealous of the baby directly, but she really feels in competition with her other brother for your attention. |
Anonymous
Well that's completely untrue. |
Anonymous
| Anxiety that she’s not loved or wanted. Probably because of new sibling. I would give empathy. X happened/A said Y to you, and you’re feeling very sad. You’re worried that no one wants you around/that A doesn’t love you/ that mommy will be mad at you. In as kind and caring a voice as you can muster. Let her say her worries. Reassure her that it’s hard to become a big sister again, and that it’s normal to have worries. Maybe tell one story about how you or dad had worries like that. After she’s talked out her worries you can tell her at the end I’ll always love you no matter what, you’ll always be an important part of this family or whatever. But don’t make it into a contradiction of what she feels. A bit of one on one time would probably be good too. |
Anonymous
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I’ll also say, 6-7 is a moody age for girls. Sometimes kids get more complex as they age not less — it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. And as always check the usual suspects, like is she hungry or tired… she may also be growing and grumpy. Give her a magnesium at night if you notice growing pains —
Also helps with anxiety. |
Anonymous
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You should’ve punished your son for the false accusation. This is serious because the next one could be more realistic.
Also, telling your kids to “not tattle” is a huge problem because they might learn to keep important information from you. Bullying, asshole/negligent teachers, CRIMES… Regularly, they should be able to count on you to discipline the “bad kids” or teach them how to defend themselves. |
Anonymous
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She might be experiencing a gender-identity crisis.
Have you tried discussing gender with your child? |
Anonymous
WTF |
Anonymous
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I think you have a daughter who is very sensitive and maybe feeling anxious. She has 2 younger siblings including a baby. She is competing with her brother (and the baby) for your attention. She feels like her position in the family has changed since the baby was born.
Just guesses, of course, but she sounds a lot like my daughter, who is 5 and will cry/get upset about things similar to this also. It upset me for a long time (sometimes still does) because I felt like my daughter was getting upset about such minor things but I've found if I stay calm and rational and give her lots of affection and attention (not giving in to her but listening to her and talking through things w/ her), she will calm down much faster than if I express any frustration or react by sending her to her room or some other consequence like that that she sees as a punishment. She's not exactly misbehaving she is just acting in a way that shows she's feeling insecure about a situation and needs help understanding how to work through it. Also make sure she's sleeping enough! My daughter acts like this way more when she's tired or overstimulated/overwhelmed (no surprise here). We have cracked down on bedtime lately to make sure she's always in the bed w/ lights out by 8 at the latest. And we give her other times to rest during the day when we can. It's hard when she's in school of course but when we're home, we make sure she has periods of time where she gets to be one on one w/ a parent or by herself doing something quiet like reading a book or doing a puzzle. Lots of playtime w/ other kids and lots of activities wears her out and leads to more emotional outbursts. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Reading through this thread has been really helpful! I am trying to give them all more attention. The baby goes to sleep at 7, so they do get undivided attention after that. Baby is pretty needy before that though. I'm relieved to hear that other kids are moody like this.
There is a LOT of sibling rivalry going on. And yes, my son does tattle a lot. It's different than actually telling me something is wrong. DS is 4. My daughter was happy and calm this morning, so maybe she was a bit tired. She sleeps 11 hours normally. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like DS is pushing her buttons! |
Anonymous
| My kindergartner has been extra squirrelly lately as well. I think he’s just extra tired from school or something. |
Anonymous
The kids are 4 and 6, your expectations are unrealistic. |
Anonymous
| Sorry OP, but she clearly feels left out. She is jealous of her brother (not the baby). Make some (more) time for her. |
Anonymous
| Give the one on one time in the morning to set up for positive feelings during the day. It was a tip my sister gave me & I saw it worked with my kids. Doesn’t have to be long. |
Anonymous
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Sounds like hunger and tiredness are involved sometimes. Sounds like a lot of anxiety and need for control. She may feel that her world is out of control with the new baby, and she doesn't know how to respond.
Are there some ways you can add in some more opportunities for her to get control in her life? Be more consistent with schedule or routine? Also, I would say that it's okay if she gets upset in these circumstances. You are handling it the right way, and as long as she has someone there to comfort her when she gets upset and you aren't blaming her or yelling at her, it can be a moment for learning to work through her emotions and understand her parents are there for her even when upset and irrational. As long as she is able to recover from it soon after and is not doing this all the time, I think it may just be something you need to calmly and supportively parent her through. |