Not sure how to respond to DD
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I’m not sure what’s going on with my almost 6 year old recently. But here are 3 episodes today that I just can’t figure out.
1) She gets in the car and kisses the baby. My son tattles and says she hit the baby. I tell him not to tattle and that she didn’t. DD sobs the entire way home that I’m going to be mad at her and how her brother is always lying about her. She won’t calm down even after we’re inside and won’t talk about it. 2) In the bathtub I ask them to clean up the toys and get out. She says she wants to get out first. So I tell her to clean up and I’ll get her out first. She refuses and I ask a few more times. So then her bother has cleaned and is ready to get out. She’s so upset but now won’t get out of the tub because she wasn’t first. 3) I’m reading to her brother in his bed. She’s upset that I’m not reading in her room but I can tell she wants to listen. So I invite her but she refuses. I ask again and we move over and make room. So I tell her to go out and I’ll read to her later. She’s sobbing in the hallway and Dh reads to her. She tells Dh that I told her to go away and wouldn’t read to her. I’m just so confused and shocked over her behavior. We didn’t yell, we have been fair and brother is not getting more than she gets. It’s just a lot of drama and crying. She’s always telling us she’s not good and no one likes her. Should I take her to a therapist? We try not to engage in the drama and try to proceed calmly. But even when we talk to her she just won’t. Is this unusual behavior or just moodiness? |
Anonymous
| How old is the baby? It sounds like she might still be adjusting. Have you tried spending 1:1 time with her? |
Anonymous
Baby is 6 months. Neither kid is jealous just yet. We do spend a lot of 1 on 1 time with each. I spent all of Monday with just her because Dh took the other kids. I do think there’s a big sibling rivalry going on between the older 2, which is why we started reading to them separately. The way she acts makes me feel like she thinks we’ve abused her. Saying things like no one likes me and I’m not a good girl. |
Anonymous
| How old is the brother? |
Anonymous
| Can you try to spend a half an hour a day of one to one time with her? It sounds like it might go a long way. |
Anonymous
| Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! |
Anonymous
| She needs more attention. |
Anonymous
| I feel like this is pretty normal for girls at 6. Both my girls got very emotional at that age whenever they felt they did something wrong or they felt like they were wronged. |
Anonymous
| 6 year old girl should have her own bath that’s too old to bathe with a brother. |
Anonymous
Yes, they are! It's getting expressed in the examples you've described. She wants more attention, your son likely wants more attention. How much have you talked with them about how different things are now that they have a new baby in the family! It sounds like a large age gap; such a large change can be tough for kids to adjust to, especially in the context of the pandemic, and all the ups and downs of that. Keep spending one on one time with each of the older kids. Have clear expectations for behavior. Check with her teachers to see how she's doing in school. Do the same with your son. Some of this kind of emotional upset is normal for kids this age, but since it's a new change and you have a new baby, that's likely contributing. |
Anonymous
This. My daughter is 5 1/2 and so much of this. And she gets lots of attention and there's no baby in the mix. BTW, my now 7 year old son also did a lot of negative self-talk at this age, and stopped after about 6-9 months. I think that's also pretty normal. When we'd ask him what he meant by his statements, he didn't have an answer - I think they are mostly trying things out for size. I've read similar things on DCUM. |
Anonymous
| Whats her sleep schedule? She sounds tired. Maybe she’s adjusting to no rest at school and/or is not getting 12 hours of sleep at night. |
Anonymous
|
Op
Your dd sounds anxious. Perhaps you can also talk to someone about it.. |
Anonymous
| My 5.5yo DD sounds very similar. It's hard! More tantrums and outbursts and irrational behavior. We're prioritizing sleep which seems to help, and I've tried to make extra space for one on one time. But otherwise I'm thinking it's just a phase. |
Anonymous
Umm try telling my DD that. She still loves bath time with her brother! They play together and entertain each other and it works best for all of us. They also share a room. What exactly is your issue? |