So happy for my friend-a TTC success story at 45

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

+1. My grandmother had her last baby at 46, but she’d had a few kids by then. First baby naturally at 45? Possible but not probable.

It's all genetics, so who knows. A friend got married at 40 and proceeded to have three children between then and age 45. Fertile genes!

Right, but then her baby at 45 wasn't her first. I'm happy for OP's friend but remain doubtful it was done without intervention. I say this as someone who had both her kids in her 40s.

PP again. I guess my point is that even a really good friend may not know the whole story and posting it on a TTC forum as a success story is a bit disingenuous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

+1. My grandmother had her last baby at 46, but she’d had a few kids by then. First baby naturally at 45? Possible but not probable.

It's all genetics, so who knows. A friend got married at 40 and proceeded to have three children between then and age 45. Fertile genes!

Right, but then her baby at 45 wasn't her first. I'm happy for OP's friend but remain doubtful it was done without intervention. I say this as someone who had both her kids in her 40s.

PP again. I guess my point is that even a really good friend may not know the whole story and posting it on a TTC forum as a success story is a bit disingenuous.

OP here. Wow, did not expect so much petty to leap out as a result of a benign, good news post. But to the PP.... I wasn't there at conception so yeah, I don't know 100%. But I'm as reasonably sure as can be that my friend has no cause to lie, so I believe her. Also, this entire board must cause you to reel in disbelief so frequently it must feel like an inner ear problem since most stuff on here can't be independently verified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

+1. My grandmother had her last baby at 46, but she’d had a few kids by then. First baby naturally at 45? Possible but not probable.

It's all genetics, so who knows. A friend got married at 40 and proceeded to have three children between then and age 45. Fertile genes!

Right, but then her baby at 45 wasn't her first. I'm happy for OP's friend but remain doubtful it was done without intervention. I say this as someone who had both her kids in her 40s.

PP again. I guess my point is that even a really good friend may not know the whole story and posting it on a TTC forum as a success story is a bit disingenuous.

OP here. Wow, did not expect so much petty to leap out as a result of a benign, good news post. But to the PP.... I wasn't there at conception so yeah, I don't know 100%. But I'm as reasonably sure as can be that my friend has no cause to lie, so I believe her. Also, this entire board must cause you to reel in disbelief so frequently it must feel like an inner ear problem since most stuff on here can't be independently verified.

I agree, OP. Really, who cares how? Take her at her word. Your friend started late and after 5 years is having a baby, that’s awesome! Congrats to her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old. Unfair to the child to be. Very selfish decision.

My mom had me at 45. She is now a healthy 95 and has outlived most of my friends parents who had them 20+ earlier. You never know how long people will live.

Right! I have a friend who’s mom had her at 44 and her brother at 46, before intervention was readily available. Both parents made it into their 90s. But then there’s the friend who’s mother died at 50. You never know.

OP, Congrats to your friend I hope she’s over the moon happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

+1. My grandmother had her last baby at 46, but she’d had a few kids by then. First baby naturally at 45? Possible but not probable.

It's all genetics, so who knows. A friend got married at 40 and proceeded to have three children between then and age 45. Fertile genes!

Right, but then her baby at 45 wasn't her first. I'm happy for OP's friend but remain doubtful it was done without intervention. I say this as someone who had both her kids in her 40s.

PP again. I guess my point is that even a really good friend may not know the whole story and posting it on a TTC forum as a success story is a bit disingenuous.

OP here. Wow, did not expect so much petty to leap out as a result of a benign, good news post. But to the PP.... I wasn't there at conception so yeah, I don't know 100%. But I'm as reasonably sure as can be that my friend has no cause to lie, so I believe her. Also, this entire board must cause you to reel in disbelief so frequently it must feel like an inner ear problem since most stuff on here can't be independently verified.

I agree, OP. Really, who cares how? Take her at her word. Your friend started late and after 5 years is having a baby, that’s awesome! Congrats to her!

Take her at her word but don’t post it on a TTC forum, because you really don’t know.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is wonderful news and you’re a very good friend to be so excited for her! She probably used donor eggs and is not sharing that part of the news yet. So maybe don’t emphasize the “got pregnant the old fashioned way” part of her success story so much. Just celebrate with her that she’s finally getting a baby!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.

Just as another perspective, I had a long infertility journey and was honest with my friends about most parts. Also told them when it was time to start considering donor egg. But then was surprised at the negative reactions I got to donor egg and how uncomfortable that made several people. So when I did it, I just left whose egg it was out of the story. Only one friend expressly asked if I had “ended up needing to use donor egg” and I lied to her, partially to maintain consistency about what I was telling everyone and partially because I thought it was a flippant and intrusive question and partially because she was one of the people who was a bit squeamish about donor egg in the first place.

So, transparently throughout definitely doesn’t equal transparency about using donor egg for some (and in my experience, many) of us.

It doesn’t really matter. But OP can be a good friend by avoiding saying things like, “I’m so glad this ended up happening naturally after all you went through! I’m so relieved for you that you didn’t have to resort to donor eggs!” Because I got a few of those comments. I didn’t care
Much because I was so thrilled to be pregnant. But it does show how others feel about donor egg.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.

Just as another perspective, I had a long infertility journey and was honest with my friends about most parts. Also told them when it was time to start considering donor egg. But then was surprised at the negative reactions I got to donor egg and how uncomfortable that made several people. So when I did it, I just left whose egg it was out of the story. Only one friend expressly asked if I had “ended up needing to use donor egg” and I lied to her, partially to maintain consistency about what I was telling everyone and partially because I thought it was a flippant and intrusive question and partially because she was one of the people who was a bit squeamish about donor egg in the first place.

So, transparently throughout definitely doesn’t equal transparency about using donor egg for some (and in my experience, many) of us.

It doesn’t really matter. But OP can be a good friend by avoiding saying things like, “I’m so glad this ended up happening naturally after all you went through! I’m so relieved for you that you didn’t have to resort to donor eggs!” Because I got a few of those comments. I didn’t care
Much because I was so thrilled to be pregnant. But it does show how others feel about donor egg.

I’m so sorry people gave you hard time about considering a donor egg, PP! I can definitely understand why you wouldn’t want to talk about it. It’s possible OP’s friend got lucky or it’s possible she’s in a situation like PP was so yeah I would definitely not talk down ART around her. I hope PP (and OP’s friend if relevant) are at least able to share with their children in a supportive environment soon so the kids don’t get surprised by medical weirdness later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.

Just as another perspective, I had a long infertility journey and was honest with my friends about most parts. Also told them when it was time to start considering donor egg. But then was surprised at the negative reactions I got to donor egg and how uncomfortable that made several people. So when I did it, I just left whose egg it was out of the story. Only one friend expressly asked if I had “ended up needing to use donor egg” and I lied to her, partially to maintain consistency about what I was telling everyone and partially because I thought it was a flippant and intrusive question and partially because she was one of the people who was a bit squeamish about donor egg in the first place.

So, transparently throughout definitely doesn’t equal transparency about using donor egg for some (and in my experience, many) of us.

It doesn’t really matter. But OP can be a good friend by avoiding saying things like, “I’m so glad this ended up happening naturally after all you went through! I’m so relieved for you that you didn’t have to resort to donor eggs!” Because I got a few of those comments. I didn’t care
Much because I was so thrilled to be pregnant. But it does show how others feel about donor egg.

If you are ashamed to tell your friends it was a donor egg then you have something to be shameful for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.

Wow, you are a nasty person in a TTC forum. La di da for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.

Just as another perspective, I had a long infertility journey and was honest with my friends about most parts. Also told them when it was time to start considering donor egg. But then was surprised at the negative reactions I got to donor egg and how uncomfortable that made several people. So when I did it, I just left whose egg it was out of the story. Only one friend expressly asked if I had “ended up needing to use donor egg” and I lied to her, partially to maintain consistency about what I was telling everyone and partially because I thought it was a flippant and intrusive question and partially because she was one of the people who was a bit squeamish about donor egg in the first place.

So, transparently throughout definitely doesn’t equal transparency about using donor egg for some (and in my experience, many) of us.

It doesn’t really matter. But OP can be a good friend by avoiding saying things like, “I’m so glad this ended up happening naturally after all you went through! I’m so relieved for you that you didn’t have to resort to donor eggs!” Because I got a few of those comments. I didn’t care
Much because I was so thrilled to be pregnant. But it does show how others feel about donor egg.

I’m so sorry people gave you hard time about considering a donor egg, PP! I can definitely understand why you wouldn’t want to talk about it. It’s possible OP’s friend got lucky or it’s possible she’s in a situation like PP was so yeah I would definitely not talk down ART around her. I hope PP (and OP’s friend if relevant) are at least able to share with their children in a supportive environment soon so the kids don’t get surprised by medical weirdness later in life.

You say you’re sorry about someone receiving a hard time for consider a donor egg and then you call it “medical weirdness.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.

Just as another perspective, I had a long infertility journey and was honest with my friends about most parts. Also told them when it was time to start considering donor egg. But then was surprised at the negative reactions I got to donor egg and how uncomfortable that made several people. So when I did it, I just left whose egg it was out of the story. Only one friend expressly asked if I had “ended up needing to use donor egg” and I lied to her, partially to maintain consistency about what I was telling everyone and partially because I thought it was a flippant and intrusive question and partially because she was one of the people who was a bit squeamish about donor egg in the first place.

So, transparently throughout definitely doesn’t equal transparency about using donor egg for some (and in my experience, many) of us.

It doesn’t really matter. But OP can be a good friend by avoiding saying things like, “I’m so glad this ended up happening naturally after all you went through! I’m so relieved for you that you didn’t have to resort to donor eggs!” Because I got a few of those comments. I didn’t care
Much because I was so thrilled to be pregnant. But it does show how others feel about donor egg.

I’m so sorry people gave you hard time about considering a donor egg, PP! I can definitely understand why you wouldn’t want to talk about it. It’s possible OP’s friend got lucky or it’s possible she’s in a situation like PP was so yeah I would definitely not talk down ART around her. I hope PP (and OP’s friend if relevant) are at least able to share with their children in a supportive environment soon so the kids don’t get surprised by medical weirdness later in life.

You say you’re sorry about someone receiving a hard time for consider a donor egg and then you call it “medical weirdness.”

Hahaha wow no I meant medical weirdness from unknown/inconsistent genetics from the parents. I also used donor gametes to conceive my children and all the research shows that kids who get that kind of thing sprung on them later in life have a harder time than those who grow up with the knowledge. But also given the PP’s friends made her feel uncomfortable about it of course navigating when and how to talk to her kid(s) will of course be more complicated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.

I work as a fertility RN.

Almost no-one shares about donor egg. They don't tell their parents, their best friends in the world, their sisters or even their conceived children.

Almost everyone shares about IVF when it's own-egg.
But donor egg is an entirely different story. It is kept very, very, very hushed up.

OP, I appreciate your excitement for your friend but I don't think it was appropriate for you to post on an infertility board unless you were personally there for the conception.
You really have no idea what happened even if you know every other detail of your friend's medical and fertility history.
There are thousands of donor eggs cycles that are performed in the DMV each year and I'd estimate that under 5% of these couples share this with ANYONE outside of each other and their providers.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to threadjack but does anyone know what percentage of donor egg cycles are for second or third children v first?