Reply to So happy for my friend-a TTC success story at 45

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Eh I don't believe they are being honest with you. Not that it matters, but that's more likely a donor egg than a natural pregnancy and they just don't want to tell anyone.[/quote]

FU Debbie Downer! I think that if OP's friend was honest with her about IVF and miscarriages, she would be honest about a donor egg. You're either jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant at an older age or jealous that you got pregnant at 22 and didn't get to party in your 20s and early 30s. I got pregnant within a month of going off birth control at 36, 39, and 43. Never had any fertility issues. Sorry to not fit your pathetic little narrative.[/quote]

Just as another perspective, I had a long infertility journey and was honest with my friends about most parts. Also told them when it was time to start considering donor egg. But then was surprised at the negative reactions I got to donor egg and how uncomfortable that made several people. So when I did it, I just left whose egg it was out of the story. Only one friend expressly asked if I had “ended up needing to use donor egg” and I lied to her, partially to maintain consistency about what I was telling everyone and partially because I thought it was a flippant and intrusive question and partially because she was one of the people who was a bit squeamish about donor egg in the first place.

So, transparently throughout definitely doesn’t equal transparency about using donor egg for some (and in my experience, many) of us.

It doesn’t really matter. But OP can be a good friend by avoiding saying things like, “I’m so glad this ended up happening naturally after all you went through! I’m so relieved for you that you didn’t have to resort to donor eggs!” Because I got a few of those comments. I didn’t care
Much because I was so thrilled to be pregnant. But it does show how others feel about donor egg.

[/quote]
If you are ashamed to tell your friends it was a donor egg then you have something to be shameful for. [/quote]

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