Proposal with cheap ring

[Anonymous]

This is a troll right??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll right??

Seems like a safe assumption.

[Anonymous]

Cheap is $500, not $10K.

[Anonymous]

You're crazy.

[Anonymous]

I would think I’m marrying a smart person. I’d much prefer the money be spent to take some amazing trip together or have some other cool experience. You can get a beautiful ring for well under $10k. No need to spend excessive amounts for some huge stone.

[Anonymous]

Probably a troll, but I'll play.

When DH and I got engaged, I insisted on a ring. A nice ring, which I defined as an excellent quality, one carat diamond in a simple band. Mine cost about $5,000. That was within the rang of what DH could afford and it showed me he was serious.

Prior to DH, I had dated and "been engaged" or near engaged with previous steady boyfriends. None of them took the step to buy an actual ring, and with the hindsight of maturity, I can see we were really just playing pretend. Marriage was never really on the table.

So to me, the ring, and not just any ring, but a ring that required a little sacrifice (but not too much), showed me that the marriage talk wasn't just talk. That was important to me.

That said, these days the unmarrieds seem to be a lot more honest with each other about what they're looking for when they date, which is a really welcome change. I'm not sure my experience is really all that informative given today's social norms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you feel insulted if a man proposed to you with a cheap engagement ring? Like under $10000 and he makes 300-400k.

No. I think you should be glad this man wants to marry you and you need to grow up. He sounds smart with money not somebody who makes that much money and blows it. You sound materialistic and not worth marrying. (I am a woman. My engagement ring cost $15,000 about 12 years ago and I thought it was ridiculous and I’m divorced.) a ring means nothing. He made 140k. You are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't consider 10k cheap, no matter how much he makes.

On the other hand, I would also not want a surprise engagement ring and would prefer to shop jointly for it.

[Anonymous]

LOL

I was a poor grad student and he was a temp worker. We got married at City Hall with two bands that we bought at a pawn shop for under $350. My dress cost $25 at a thrift store. He wore jeans. We've been married for 29 years.

If your partner bought you a nice ring, you're not grateful, then you are too immature to get married. You should break up with him, and he should count his lucky stars.

[Anonymous]

I got engaged with no ring at all. Celebrating 11 years this year.

[Anonymous]

Cheap ring? lmao. You need to get a grip, lady. Your values are ridiculous. So, please, by all means tell him you find the ring "cheap" so he can realize his mistake and move on to a better, more substantive life partner.

[Anonymous]

The ring is a gift. Are you really planning to tell your fiancé that his gift is inadequate? Please do, so he can see exactly what the values are of the person he wants to marry and dump you accordingly.

[Anonymous]

I had to unlearn a lot of things during my adulthood, including all the bullshit surrounding relationships and engagements and weddings and marriages. I’m sure it stings a little if all the other women at work or tennis or yoga have 5 carat blinders. So you need to ask yourself what’s really important. Because so many people are blinded by all the nonsense (like rings) that they don’t even ask themselves if they really want to spend the rest of their lives with the guy. If you want to spend the rest of your life with the guy, don’t worry about the ring. Also don’t ever mention it to him. Ever.

[Anonymous]

I’ll bite. I live in NYC where most upper and upper middle class people are buying rings that are 2-3+ carats. Yes, it would be out of place for it to cost under 10k if he has a good salary. The only people I know with modest rings were people not making a lot of money and/or very young when they got engaged. Is it ostentatious and a waste of money? Probably, but it’s certainly a common thing.

Also weird if you two didn’t talk about what you wanted or if he knew what you wanted and got something much less significant or lower quality than you were expecting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cheap is $500, not $10K.

Got engaged with an under-$500 diamond ring more than 30 years ago and we’re still together. So, I guess a ring achieves its goal no matter how much it costs.