Dressing nicely when companions aren't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about putting on a nicer pair of shorts and maybe a nicer top. So instead of a T-shirt do you wear a finer fabric? Sorry I’m trying to help but I don’t have the words!

I struggle with this too.

https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/shorts/7-inch-inseam/mid-length-denim-short-in-washed-black/BF399?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=washed-black&colorProductCode=BF399

Off-topic, but are these supposed to be an example of 'nicer pair of shorts'?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if we are going somewhere and my people are not dressed appropriately, they get sent back to change. you could tell them ahead of time what you would like them to wear, thus avoiding the anger they may have from being sent to change.

You must be real fun before a night out. jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

I don’t agree that casual/sloppy is what most situations call for. It wasn’t that long ago that jeans were inappropriate in most places and now jeans and other hard pants are considered torture. Continue to dress well. I’m trying to join you in dressing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

The "situation," yes. What other people choose to wear, no.

Church = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

Fancy or upscale restaurant = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

If your husband and slobs are dressing too casually, that is on them, not on you. It's also not up to you what they wear, if your son is on the older side. And the only time I'd pick that battle is for a wedding, funeral, etc.

This right here. If a few celebrities wore jeans and a T-shirt to the Oscars, the story would not be about how many attendees were too dressed up at the Oscars.

Oh for Pete's sake do you think OP wants to be in constant battle with her spouse and child over what they are wearing?

OP: maybe you can just take it down one notch. Like wear slip on sneakers with your dress and a casual bag. Or like PP said, some shorts with a nice top, so you feel good for also feel like you are commensurately fancy/casual with your family. But also you probably look great and are overthinking this - it sounds like you feel self-conscious about your appearance generally, and that's probably making you think too much about this, too. My mom is always way more dressed up than my dad, brother, and me - and she looks great. We're - all adults - the slobs!

I guess the only thing with us is that bro, dad, and i want to be out being active, and Mom does not - and her clothes sort of reflect that. But her dressing more casually wouldn't make her more likely to want to go hiking. So I guess I would just question - are you all able to participate in the same activities, being dressed as you are, or are there things you can't do or they can't do because of your respective attires?

But why does it have to be a "battle"? Unless it is literally a funeral or a wedding, I would never comment on what my grown-ass adult husband chooses to wear. If he looks underdressed at the restaurant? Oh well. If he fails to meet a dress code and a country club or whatever asks him to put on a tie or leave, welp, maybe it will be a table for one and I'll Uber home! I have never understood women who feel the need to yap about what their husbands wear.

Because a bunch of posters are insisting that the husband and kid are inappropriately dressed (without actually knowing if that is correct), and if OP is feeling odd being with them because they aren't at the same level of dressiness, than the options are either she makes them dress up or she dresses down. Or she just gets over it, which seems like the better choice.

I just want to know what universe exists where a husband complies with what his wife "makes" him do and vice versa when it comes to putting clothing on his or her own damn body.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand what the original problem is. I like clothes. A lot of work days i don't have enough time to get out of my workout stuff, so i go to the bus stop in my sweats. But when i do have 15 mins to clean up, i typically put on a pretty pulled together out. Not the weird suburban mom pulled together look that this site espouses, but a lot of pretty dresses, bright colors, fun prints. Think Farm Rio at Anthro kind of stuff. I wear that to pick up where the other moms are in sweats (like i was yesterday!), the grocery store, coffee with friends. I highly doubt anyone thinks less of me because i am wearing cute stuff.

The trick is to look like every day nice stuff, and not like boring sweater sets and stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

So you look nice and they look slobby? Please don’t dress down to match them! Kudos to you for caring for your appearance. Many boys/men would wear sweatpants or shorts 24/7 if they could - so don’t use them as a fashion guide, lol.

[Anonymous]

If your husband has any self respect shouldn't he notice this? Many times we've been ready to go out with me in a dress and heels and him in t shirt and plaid shorts and he says "you're making me look bad. I guess I should change."

[Anonymous]

OP here. It's like this. If I wear a casual dress and sandals, I automatically look more dressed up than DH in khaki shorts and old running shoes and polo and DS in the same, minus a plain t-shirt.

But I'm too overweight to wear shorts and even when I wear jeans, I stick out. Know what I mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's like this. If I wear a casual dress and sandals, I automatically look more dressed up than DH in khaki shorts and old running shoes and polo and DS in the same, minus a plain t-shirt.

But I'm too overweight to wear shorts and even when I wear jeans, I stick out. Know what I mean?

Can you show us an example of the kind of dress you're wearing, and what shoes you'd wear with it? I'm just having a hard time picturing what you are wearing, that you feel so out of place with your family.

[Anonymous]

I have never once looked at a woman and then noticed if she "matched" her family. If I like your outfit, I like your outfit. If I don't notice you, I don't notice you. If you look wretched, you look wretched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

No, I don't think so. They sound like they are underdressed, and you are dressed appropriately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's like this. If I wear a casual dress and sandals, I automatically look more dressed up than DH in khaki shorts and old running shoes and polo and DS in the same, minus a plain t-shirt.

But I'm too overweight to wear shorts and even when I wear jeans, I stick out. Know what I mean?

You are way overthinking this. Also, most women dress more nicely than men, so this situation isn't weird at all.

[Anonymous]

My DH is like this, the man still wears cargo shorts. But honestly, I’m the grand scheme of things who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

No, I don't think so. They sound like they are underdressed, and you are dressed appropriately.

Underdressed for what? What's wrong with shorts and a t-shirt for a normal day around town? OP didn't say they're going to the theater wearing garbage bags.

[Anonymous]

I have sons 16 & 14. Any restaurant—they put on a collared shirt (not chik-fila, “real sit down ones”). Holiday dinners are the same.

We live in a walkable area and eat out a lot and know the drill…run upstairs to change.

My husband and I WAH and workout so a lot of our regular day is an athletic wear, but we turn it on to go out or to school functions.

Downtime- I don’t care what they wear. 8th grader wears sweatpants pretty much every day to school. Next year he will have to wear khakis and collared shirt/no sneakers. They have a coat&tie about once a month or so. It’s really cleaned up the older ones wardrobe.

Now that I’m older, I feel like I need to wear better things. Summer I wear a lot of skirts and t-shirt type dresses with sandals when it’s really hot out, or traveling. I don’t care if I look nicer than the rest of them. Lol

Thank god neither adopted the ‘mental ward patient’ trend of shuffling around in pajama bottoms and crocs.