Dressing nicely when companions aren't

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'll be blunt: how do I not look overdressed when DH and DS just toss on a t-shirt and old running shoes? I'm overweight and really have to make an effort if I don't want to look sloppy, but lately I'm either dressed to their level of casualness and sloppy or looking decent on my own and overdressed when they're next to me. Surely I'm not the only mother/wife with this issue???

[Anonymous]

Where are you going? If to a restaurant, you likely look appropriately dressed and they look like utter slobs, from your description. They should be worrying about themselves.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry about how they look. Dress in whatever makes you feel comfortable and presentable. They probably don’t notice what you’re wearing anyway if they are the type to dress so casually.

[Anonymous]

I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you going? If to a restaurant, you likely look appropriately dressed and they look like utter slobs, from your description. They should be worrying about themselves.

Just out and about. Errands, tourist stuff, traveling, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

[Anonymous]

How about putting on a nicer pair of shorts and maybe a nicer top. So instead of a T-shirt do you wear a finer fabric? Sorry I’m trying to help but I don’t have the words!

I struggle with this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about putting on a nicer pair of shorts and maybe a nicer top. So instead of a T-shirt do you wear a finer fabric? Sorry I’m trying to help but I don’t have the words!

I struggle with this too.

https://www.jcrew.com/p/womens/categories/clothing/shorts/7-inch-inseam/mid-length-denim-short-in-washed-black/BF399?display=standard&fit=Classic&color_name=washed-black&colorProductCode=BF399

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

The "situation," yes. What other people choose to wear, no.

Church = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

Fancy or upscale restaurant = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

If your husband and slobs are dressing too casually, that is on them, not on you. It's also not up to you what they wear, if your son is on the older side. And the only time I'd pick that battle is for a wedding, funeral, etc.

[Anonymous]

if we are going somewhere and my people are not dressed appropriately, they get sent back to change. you could tell them ahead of time what you would like them to wear, thus avoiding the anger they may have from being sent to change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if we are going somewhere and my people are not dressed appropriately, they get sent back to change. you could tell them ahead of time what you would like them to wear, thus avoiding the anger they may have from being sent to change.

Does "your people" include your husband, or anyone out of college and living on their own dime?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

The "situation," yes. What other people choose to wear, no.

Church = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

Fancy or upscale restaurant = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

If your husband and slobs are dressing too casually, that is on them, not on you. It's also not up to you what they wear, if your son is on the older side. And the only time I'd pick that battle is for a wedding, funeral, etc.

This right here. If a few celebrities wore jeans and a T-shirt to the Oscars, the story would not be about how many attendees were too dressed up at the Oscars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

The "situation," yes. What other people choose to wear, no.

Church = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

Fancy or upscale restaurant = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

If your husband and slobs are dressing too casually, that is on them, not on you. It's also not up to you what they wear, if your son is on the older side. And the only time I'd pick that battle is for a wedding, funeral, etc.

This right here. If a few celebrities wore jeans and a T-shirt to the Oscars, the story would not be about how many attendees were too dressed up at the Oscars.

Oh for Pete's sake do you think OP wants to be in constant battle with her spouse and child over what they are wearing?

OP: maybe you can just take it down one notch. Like wear slip on sneakers with your dress and a casual bag. Or like PP said, some shorts with a nice top, so you feel good for also feel like you are commensurately fancy/casual with your family. But also you probably look great and are overthinking this - it sounds like you feel self-conscious about your appearance generally, and that's probably making you think too much about this, too. My mom is always way more dressed up than my dad, brother, and me - and she looks great. We're - all adults - the slobs!

I guess the only thing with us is that bro, dad, and i want to be out being active, and Mom does not - and her clothes sort of reflect that. But her dressing more casually wouldn't make her more likely to want to go hiking. So I guess I would just question - are you all able to participate in the same activities, being dressed as you are, or are there things you can't do or they can't do because of your respective attires?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

The "situation," yes. What other people choose to wear, no.

Church = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

Fancy or upscale restaurant = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

If your husband and slobs are dressing too casually, that is on them, not on you. It's also not up to you what they wear, if your son is on the older side. And the only time I'd pick that battle is for a wedding, funeral, etc.

This right here. If a few celebrities wore jeans and a T-shirt to the Oscars, the story would not be about how many attendees were too dressed up at the Oscars.

Oh for Pete's sake do you think OP wants to be in constant battle with her spouse and child over what they are wearing?

OP: maybe you can just take it down one notch. Like wear slip on sneakers with your dress and a casual bag. Or like PP said, some shorts with a nice top, so you feel good for also feel like you are commensurately fancy/casual with your family. But also you probably look great and are overthinking this - it sounds like you feel self-conscious about your appearance generally, and that's probably making you think too much about this, too. My mom is always way more dressed up than my dad, brother, and me - and she looks great. We're - all adults - the slobs!

I guess the only thing with us is that bro, dad, and i want to be out being active, and Mom does not - and her clothes sort of reflect that. But her dressing more casually wouldn't make her more likely to want to go hiking. So I guess I would just question - are you all able to participate in the same activities, being dressed as you are, or are there things you can't do or they can't do because of your respective attires?

But why does it have to be a "battle"? Unless it is literally a funeral or a wedding, I would never comment on what my grown-ass adult husband chooses to wear. If he looks underdressed at the restaurant? Oh well. If he fails to meet a dress code and a country club or whatever asks him to put on a tie or leave, welp, maybe it will be a table for one and I'll Uber home! I have never understood women who feel the need to yap about what their husbands wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, who is giving you a grade on the overall appearance of your family? What Best Dressed List are you not making, or what fashion critic is lambasting you publicly?

Who. Cares? Dress for your own level of comfort and confidence. The end.

Well, it's inappropriate to dress more formal than the situation calls for, and they automatically make me look so.

The "situation," yes. What other people choose to wear, no.

Church = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

Fancy or upscale restaurant = one should dress nicely. The fact that some people choose to wear jeans and athleisure does not make ME inappropriately dressed when I wear a dress or dress pants and a nice top.

If your husband and slobs are dressing too casually, that is on them, not on you. It's also not up to you what they wear, if your son is on the older side. And the only time I'd pick that battle is for a wedding, funeral, etc.

This right here. If a few celebrities wore jeans and a T-shirt to the Oscars, the story would not be about how many attendees were too dressed up at the Oscars.

Oh for Pete's sake do you think OP wants to be in constant battle with her spouse and child over what they are wearing?

OP: maybe you can just take it down one notch. Like wear slip on sneakers with your dress and a casual bag. Or like PP said, some shorts with a nice top, so you feel good for also feel like you are commensurately fancy/casual with your family. But also you probably look great and are overthinking this - it sounds like you feel self-conscious about your appearance generally, and that's probably making you think too much about this, too. My mom is always way more dressed up than my dad, brother, and me - and she looks great. We're - all adults - the slobs!

I guess the only thing with us is that bro, dad, and i want to be out being active, and Mom does not - and her clothes sort of reflect that. But her dressing more casually wouldn't make her more likely to want to go hiking. So I guess I would just question - are you all able to participate in the same activities, being dressed as you are, or are there things you can't do or they can't do because of your respective attires?

But why does it have to be a "battle"? Unless it is literally a funeral or a wedding, I would never comment on what my grown-ass adult husband chooses to wear. If he looks underdressed at the restaurant? Oh well. If he fails to meet a dress code and a country club or whatever asks him to put on a tie or leave, welp, maybe it will be a table for one and I'll Uber home! I have never understood women who feel the need to yap about what their husbands wear.

Because a bunch of posters are insisting that the husband and kid are inappropriately dressed (without actually knowing if that is correct), and if OP is feeling odd being with them because they aren't at the same level of dressiness, than the options are either she makes them dress up or she dresses down. Or she just gets over it, which seems like the better choice.