Is BYU all Mormon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece goes to BYU as a non-Mormon.

My SIL is an ex-Mo. She has no hatred or ill feelings towards the LDS. She simply decided it wasn't the right path for her once she was a young adult.

SIL and BIL raised their kids pretty conservatively but without any religious aspect. My SIL went to BYU for undergrad and grad school (grad school after leaving the church) and still thinks very highly of the school and the education she received there.

My niece has nothing but wonderful things to say about the school. She has said that most of her friends are other non-LDS students. There's a natural social split, according to her, between LDS and non-LDS students. She likes the rules and structure that are part of attending BYU. She attended a private Catholic school prior to college, so she's used to strict dress codes and moral/honor codes.

Less than 2% of BYU is non-LDS. And most of those are athletes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of Mormons go there because the tuition is ridiculously low for Mormons whose families have tithed, but they have to follow strict rules

Did you not read the question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not a troll! We’re a somewhat conservative family and I don’t think strict social rules would be a huge problem for DS. But I wouldn’t want him to be an outcast.

I'm an ex-mo who went to BYU. The honor code (aka social rules) is one thing, but it's so much more than just the honor code. Social life really does revolve around religion and your ward (aka church). Also, almost everyone at BYU is looking to get married quickly, and co-ed socializing generally has the underlying purpose of finding a spouse, so some people might not even associate with your son because he's not mormon and therefore unmarriable in their eyes. Heck, my husband was Mormon, but because he didn't go on a mission he was avoided by a large contingent of girls at BYU. The culture there is extremely niche, there will be great pressure to join the church. A non-member would feel really freaking out of place there, I think.

I would never do it. There are many other conservative/conservative-leaning colleges he could go to.

[Anonymous]

Gosh, no. Don't do it. Imagine all social activities being at a middle school maturity level (singing carols, spin the bottle (gasp!), board games, etc). Everything revolves around the church, and if your life doesn't, then there is something wrong with you. Everyone there will find out he's not a member and assume that his presence at BYU indicates an interest in the church, or that the spirit has inspired him to attend; this will lead to crazy missionary efforts. Every Sunday in which there is a lesson/message on missionary work he will be the guy they think of, and then he'll have a very annoying 3-5 weeks until the next missionary lesson.

In short, his life will be a pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

Look at Hillsdale!!!

[Anonymous]

I have a relative who went there. She is Mormon. She hated the fact that all the girls in her dorm were focused not in getting an education but in getting married. She said “Bride” Magazine was left lying all about tge common areas with pages turned down. (This was some time ago but the pressures haven’t changed). It’s all about getting married all the time. That’s why you are there. In areas with good local community colleges, the girls are encouraged to go there while trying to find a husband and only if that fails then take a precious seat at BYU. In contrast, my Mormon friend was a serious student. She transferred

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not a troll! We’re a somewhat conservative family and I don’t think strict social rules would be a huge problem for DS. But I wouldn’t want him to be an outcast.

I'm an ex-mo who went to BYU. The honor code (aka social rules) is one thing, but it's so much more than just the honor code. Social life really does revolve around religion and your ward (aka church). Also, almost everyone at BYU is looking to get married quickly, and co-ed socializing generally has the underlying purpose of finding a spouse, so some people might not even associate with your son because he's not mormon and therefore unmarriable in their eyes. Heck, my husband was Mormon, but because he didn't go on a mission he was avoided by a large contingent of girls at BYU. The culture there is extremely niche, there will be great pressure to join the church. A non-member would feel really freaking out of place there, I think.

I would never do it. There are many other conservative/conservative-leaning colleges he could go to.

Non-Mormon. It's not all one big ward - right? Curious how they form wards there? Do parents of BYU kids try to get their kids into "good" wards like a sorority?

[Anonymous]

Community college then Hillsdale/Hampden-Sydney/Grove City is your answer

[Anonymous]

My brother-in-law went there as a non-mormon athlete.

He married an athlete and they are raising their children as Mormons. His side of the family were excluded from some parts of the wedding ceremony.

Their child attends BYU now.

My child asked about attending BYU and we talked about the honor code, etc., and discouraged them. They attend Catholic school and have a few Mormon friends, but I didn't feel like they would get a full college experience this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only reason to go to BYU would if you can’t afford to send him anywhere else. It’s cheap even for nonmembers. And even then, community college would be preferable.

Wow that is so not true. I’m not opposed to community colleges but the academics and job placement does not compare, if you care about that kind of thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gosh, no. Don't do it. Imagine all social activities being at a middle school maturity level (singing carols, spin the bottle (gasp!), board games, etc). Everything revolves around the church, and if your life doesn't, then there is something wrong with you. Everyone there will find out he's not a member and assume that his presence at BYU indicates an interest in the church, or that the spirit has inspired him to attend; this will lead to crazy missionary efforts. Every Sunday in which there is a lesson/message on missionary work he will be the guy they think of, and then he'll have a very annoying 3-5 weeks until the next missionary lesson.

In short, his life will be a pain in the ass.

I went to BYU and I admit those games were cheesy, but they can actually be fun. And not that all college activities at other colleges revolve around drinking, but a lot do, and Id prefer my kid play board games and sardines than beer pong.

While we did pressure people who weren’t members to attend church, we never assumed they went to BYU because they were interested. We assumed it was for the academics and price of tuition. Some of us were annoying but socially I treated non-members like everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Not a troll! We’re a somewhat conservative family and I don’t think strict social rules would be a huge problem for DS. But I wouldn’t want him to be an outcast.

I'm an ex-mo who went to BYU. The honor code (aka social rules) is one thing, but it's so much more than just the honor code. Social life really does revolve around religion and your ward (aka church). Also, almost everyone at BYU is looking to get married quickly, and co-ed socializing generally has the underlying purpose of finding a spouse, so some people might not even associate with your son because he's not mormon and therefore unmarriable in their eyes. Heck, my husband was Mormon, but because he didn't go on a mission he was avoided by a large contingent of girls at BYU. The culture there is extremely niche, there will be great pressure to join the church. A non-member would feel really freaking out of place there, I think.

I would never do it. There are many other conservative/conservative-leaning colleges he could go to.

Non-Mormon. It's not all one big ward - right? Curious how they form wards there? Do parents of BYU kids try to get their kids into "good" wards like a sorority?

DP here. Wards are just based on where you live. A ward has about 200 people in it so that’s maybe two apartment complexes? Your question about what the parents want is an odd one to me. From my experience, parents are pretty hands-off. They might want their kid to live in a nice apartment and those apartments and so their kids will naturally go to a ward with higher SES students, but part of this weird ethos of the church is going to church with whoever your neighbors happen to be rather than people you pick. I can’t imagine a parent trying to maneuver their kid into a more desirable ward since a) Mormon parents are rarely of the helicopter variety b) you might prefer to find “your people” but generally one ward isn’t considered more desirable and c) living on meager means is kind of glorified in the church so even parents who are well off might want their kid to live in a cheaper apartment and go to church with people who are less well-off.

[Anonymous]

In my experience there is a huge emphasis on getting married but for the most part an equal emphasis on getting a quality education and (for men) getting into a good career. Those are intertwined with getting married since men are supposed to be providers and women are supposed to be well-educated so that their kids will be well-educated too.

What I find objectionable about BYU is their rules about sexual assault (if you report an assault you might also be reported to the honor code office, so if you were breaking a rule like drinking before the assault took place you could get kicked out for drinking). Also the lack of diversity is a problem.

Another lesser problem is that they won’t teach things that are against church beliefs, like queer theory in the English department.

[Anonymous]

Lots of required religion classes.

[Anonymous]

Their SLP clinic refuses to treat trans kids.