Is this true regarding sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and have been dating for the past two years since my divorce.

I've noticed that with the guys I decide to wait to have sex with, they end up falling for me hard. The guys I had sex with on date #3/4, not so much.

This is contrary to advice I've received from WOMEN, stating that no guy will commit without first having sex with you to see if you're compatible, and that if he doesn't get it after a few dates, he'll move on.

So, which is it, in your opinion?

And your sample size is how big, exactly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

This.

Even if it’s not respect, men are pretty simple in their thinking. There are the women they’d like to bang and the ones they love. Two totally different categories. You need at least a month of interaction to figure out which category you are in, if you care.

And how, exactly do you propose women can distinguish which category they have been placed in after a month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys willing to wait were desperate. Guys not willing to wait had options. It’s about as simple as that.

Or guy willing to wait wants more than a hook up and needs more than a couple dates to feel a strong enough connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

This.

Even if it’s not respect, men are pretty simple in their thinking. There are the women they’d like to bang and the ones they love. Two totally different categories. You need at least a month of interaction to figure out which category you are in, if you care.

And how, exactly do you propose women can distinguish which category they have been placed in after a month?

Woman a man would like to bang: emphasis on sexual interactions, or interactions that could lead to sex. For example, drinking in bars, parties, texting late at night, making out... or if you're older, he does a courtesy 3 dates and compliments but after you don't put out he's slow to get back in touch and generally isn't interested in hanging out in circumstances that will not lead to hooking up.

Woman a man loves: interactions that will not lead to sex are still a priority for him. For example, coming to your house to move furniture with a lot of other people, coming to a work event, showing interest in your work/life/family/health as manifested by some concrete and significant investment in his time, brings you food if you are sick, wants to hang out during the day, wants to spend any time whatsoever with you even if it means coming with you when you are running errands or in the middle of something.

Men are pretty simple, actually. It is not hard to see whether the goal is simply to have sex with you or to be around you as much as possible and get to know you and be closer to you.

[Anonymous]

^^Also, generally a man knows which category you're in for him after a month. And most men who are in love want to tell you that in some way or other. They will make their interest obvious and non-ambiguous. If they don't do that, they just aren't that interested in you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

This.

Even if it’s not respect, men are pretty simple in their thinking. There are the women they’d like to bang and the ones they love. Two totally different categories. You need at least a month of interaction to figure out which category you are in, if you care.

I think there are three categories:

1- Women they like to bang and they don't care if she's sweet and wonderful or psycho and a narcissist, they just really like to bang her. (They often marry these women)

2- Women they respect and are intrigued by their personality but could take her or leave her in the banging category (Seldom marry and often regret it if they do)

3- Women they like to bang and they respect and like her too. (Perfect marriage material!)

I prefer to be in the last category. You do have to give it some time to figure out if you are in that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys willing to wait were desperate. Guys not willing to wait had options. It’s about as simple as that.

Or guy willing to wait wants more than a hook up and needs more than a couple dates to feel a strong enough connection.

Or even simpler, sometimes we just want to make sure you aren’t hiding the fact that you are batcrap crazy.

[Anonymous]

Genuine question. What happens to the men that fall hard? Did any turn into relationships? And how long were you together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

This.

Even if it’s not respect, men are pretty simple in their thinking. There are the women they’d like to bang and the ones they love. Two totally different categories. You need at least a month of interaction to figure out which category you are in, if you care.

I think there are three categories:

1- Women they like to bang and they don't care if she's sweet and wonderful or psycho and a narcissist, they just really like to bang her. (They often marry these women)

2- Women they respect and are intrigued by their personality but could take her or leave her in the banging category (Seldom marry and often regret it if they do)

3- Women they like to bang and they respect and like her too. (Perfect marriage material!)

I prefer to be in the last category. You do have to give it some time to figure out if you are in that one.

Except no guy really spends much time on 2). So it's 1) & 3).

[Anonymous]

I think that’s true. I never had sex for religious reasons (until my DH), and had several guys talk about marriage after two months of dating. To be honest, I think it drives men crazy to date attractive women and not go “all the way”. There is nothing more crazymaking to a man than a beautiful and happy woman who laughs at this jokes, kisses sweetly and won’t let him touch her boobs. They probably really believe they are in love, because they haven’t consummated their lust, but afterwards may feel differently. It seems more hormone-driven than real love.

[Anonymous]

I am mid-40s, div, dating woman and this is my experience:

I date because I want regular and consistent companionship, physical and emotional intimacy. I don't evaluate men for being marriage material or father potential.
I go by physical attraction and whether I enjoy the person's company. This is hard to find in middle-aged men!
But when I find that I am open to sleeping together rather sooner than later.
Here is my weak spot ... if the physical part is great, in addition to looks and personality, I get super excited about and emotionally attached to the guy.

At this point, the men appear less invested than me. I take that as rejection of me (old baggage ... working on it). Eventually I break it off because I think the guy is not really into me.

I have a date tomorrow night and I will take it much slower to built a connection Maybe that will work better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be more true with money than sex. Men who don’t spend on you don’t value you even if they manage to make you feel valued emotionally. Sex is variable. Sometimes a guy will value very much a woman who enjoys sex and has no hang ups about it and wants it with him. If he doesn’t, he has hang ups about sex himself/was taught to view it as dirty/sinful/shameful in some way. Who needs that anyway.

Wtf? This is what we're dealing with gents...

Ok, tell me all about how much you love the woman you refuse to spend money on. I’m sure it’s an epic tale of true love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be more true with money than sex. Men who don’t spend on you don’t value you even if they manage to make you feel valued emotionally. Sex is variable. Sometimes a guy will value very much a woman who enjoys sex and has no hang ups about it and wants it with him. If he doesn’t, he has hang ups about sex himself/was taught to view it as dirty/sinful/shameful in some way. Who needs that anyway.

Wtf? This is what we're dealing with gents...

Ok, tell me all about how much you love the woman you refuse to spend money on. I’m sure it’s an epic tale of true love.

This reminds me of a Reddit FDS thread where the woman had been on several nice dates with a guy, and then for the next meetup he’s suggested a lunchtime walk around a park. It was the FDS consensus that this was the sign of a LVM (low value man) and she should cut it off immediately.

[Anonymous]

Cut WHAT off???!!!??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be more true with money than sex. Men who don’t spend on you don’t value you even if they manage to make you feel valued emotionally. Sex is variable. Sometimes a guy will value very much a woman who enjoys sex and has no hang ups about it and wants it with him. If he doesn’t, he has hang ups about sex himself/was taught to view it as dirty/sinful/shameful in some way. Who needs that anyway.

Wtf? This is what we're dealing with gents...

Ok, tell me all about how much you love the woman you refuse to spend money on. I’m sure it’s an epic tale of true love.

This reminds me of a Reddit FDS thread where the woman had been on several nice dates with a guy, and then for the next meetup he’s suggested a lunchtime walk around a park. It was the FDS consensus that this was the sign of a LVM (low value man) and she should cut it off immediately.

What’s FDS.