Is this true regarding sex?

[Anonymous]

I'm 40 and have been dating for the past two years since my divorce.

I've noticed that with the guys I decide to wait to have sex with, they end up falling for me hard. The guys I had sex with on date #3/4, not so much.

This is contrary to advice I've received from WOMEN, stating that no guy will commit without first having sex with you to see if you're compatible, and that if he doesn't get it after a few dates, he'll move on.

So, which is it, in your opinion?

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised you got that advice from women. I’d almost think they were trying to sabotage you, tbh.

I am a fan of having sex whenever feels right to you, and if a guy doesn’t respect you or loses interest in you after sex, it wasn’t meant to be. But generally speaking men like the chase and if they get what they want too easily they value it less.

Something to consider is how you act after sex though. If you still act like you’re a prize and not like sex means you expect something from them, there is still something for them to pursue, if that makes sense.

- woman

[Anonymous]

Guys willing to wait were desperate. Guys not willing to wait had options. It’s about as simple as that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and have been dating for the past two years since my divorce.

I've noticed that with the guys I decide to wait to have sex with, they end up falling for me hard. The guys I had sex with on date #3/4, not so much.

This is contrary to advice I've received from WOMEN, stating that no guy will commit without first having sex with you to see if you're compatible, and that if he doesn't get it after a few dates, he'll move on.

So, which is it, in your opinion?

Women who say this to other women do so to justify their own decisions to sleep with men quickly.

You should have sex with a man when YOU want to, not in a desperate bid to keep him around.

I like to date men for several months and agree to exclusivity before having sex. I’ve never had anyone bail because of this.

[Anonymous]

I find this to be more true with money than sex. Men who don’t spend on you don’t value you even if they manage to make you feel valued emotionally. Sex is variable. Sometimes a guy will value very much a woman who enjoys sex and has no hang ups about it and wants it with him. If he doesn’t, he has hang ups about sex himself/was taught to view it as dirty/sinful/shameful in some way. Who needs that anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be more true with money than sex. Men who don’t spend on you don’t value you even if they manage to make you feel valued emotionally. Sex is variable. Sometimes a guy will value very much a woman who enjoys sex and has no hang ups about it and wants it with him. If he doesn’t, he has hang ups about sex himself/was taught to view it as dirty/sinful/shameful in some way. Who needs that anyway.

Wtf? This is what we're dealing with gents...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys willing to wait were desperate. Guys not willing to wait had options. It’s about as simple as that.

Yep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be more true with money than sex. Men who don’t spend on you don’t value you even if they manage to make you feel valued emotionally. Sex is variable. Sometimes a guy will value very much a woman who enjoys sex and has no hang ups about it and wants it with him. If he doesn’t, he has hang ups about sex himself/was taught to view it as dirty/sinful/shameful in some way. Who needs that anyway.

Wtf? This is what we're dealing with gents...

Not really. If you don’t want to “deal” with that attitude, just don’t spend money on a woman. Like, lots of men are jerks and women can just avoid those ones rather than suffering through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this to be more true with money than sex. Men who don’t spend on you don’t value you even if they manage to make you feel valued emotionally. Sex is variable. Sometimes a guy will value very much a woman who enjoys sex and has no hang ups about it and wants it with him. If he doesn’t, he has hang ups about sex himself/was taught to view it as dirty/sinful/shameful in some way. Who needs that anyway.

Wtf? This is what we're dealing with gents...

I'm a woman and definitely do not agree with the above statement. It's some F-ed up, old way of thinking. I pay for my own stuff on dates. I figured if he likes my company it's doesn't matter who pays.

[Anonymous]

I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

Guy here, and this is not true for me or anyone else I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

+1

[Anonymous]

It's not that.men don't respect you if you sleep with them quickly. It's more that it suggests that the woman doesn't really care who she sleeps with and therefore the prospects of.establishing a stable committed relationship is not very likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

Guy here, and this is not true for me or anyone else I know.

What men say amongst each other and how they act around and treat women are two very totally different things—remember this, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I experienced the same thing when I was single. Men can’t love you if they don’t respect you. They do not respect women that sleep with them easily. It’s a fact of nature like the birds and the bees, no matter how much people want the contrary to be true. I wanted it to be true, also, and beat my head against a brick wall until I accepted reality. Then I used this fact to my advantage to secure a man who loves me, respects me, and really appreciates our sex a whole lot more. Many will disagree, but—worked for me!

This.

Even if it’s not respect, men are pretty simple in their thinking. There are the women they’d like to bang and the ones they love. Two totally different categories. You need at least a month of interaction to figure out which category you are in, if you care.