I want to feel beautiful again

[Anonymous]

OP here thank you all for the tips and lash extensions wow! I should do that I have sparse lashes so I used to rely on mascara but it’s not practical now.

I’ll look into the app workouts I think I need to start with something small but something.

These are great tips!

[Anonymous]

IIFYM Postpartum & Breastfeeding group on FB for weightloss

I'd be very careful about whitestrips and at-home peels while breastfeeding. Just cover skin with makeup for now and save for future dermatologist peels and laser treatments.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with White strips. I used them while pregnant with doc’s ok. But C should work well enough.

This lady has a nice post partum program if the super religious part doesn’t bother you.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYovK-I6zn_q5CuGjEoSDZw4hQ9axysrY

[Anonymous]

I feel ya. I started a better, more consistent skin care routine and it’s made a world of difference. I also really enjoy great scented soaps in the shower. It’s the little things that make me feel more like myself.

- Mom of 2 under 2 & who mostly lives in sweatpants.

[Anonymous]

Trust me, OP. You are already really, really beautiful. You look absolutely amazing.

Signed,

Elder mom to teen who is a handful. Totally grey hair, stress eating like crazy.

[Anonymous]

I do my hair and makeup and bought bigger clothes that don't make me feel terrible when wearing them. I'm 4 months PP and cannot for the life of me lose weight and breastfeed. This is my 3rd kid and I'm not even trying this time. It's too hard and doesn't work well. I'll lose later and survive now with shiny hair and cute eyeliner instead.

[Anonymous]

I am nursing and have 2 under 5. I try to shower daily but only wash hair every 3 days. I wear pearl earrings and try to put on some makeup every day. Even just lipstick. It honestly makes me feel so much better. Don’t underestimate the power of a haircut, pedicure, at home hair gloss, sheet mask, white strips, nice shower products, nice earrings, etc. little things. I feel like a fat mushy slob til I wean and my kids nurse for like 2 years. After I weaned the first time the brain fog lifted, I had more energy, I could lose those last few pounds, and I started feeling like myself again. I know I will get there again. Also, I love using good skincare. I spend about 100 on Paula’s choice products a few times a year and my skin is aging but comparatively to other moms looks better, which I credit to Paula’s choice products and daily SPF since my teens.

[Anonymous]

I know you said no to peloton and expensive workout classes but what about going on daily walks? They’re free and great for the mind and body. I’ve been trying to get 30 minutes outside everyday and it helps so much. Just picking up the pace just slightly to get your heart rate up may feel like you’re getting somewhere. Plus now that it’s getting nicer, maybe you’ll get a little glow on your skin on those sunny days.

[Anonymous]

Stop breastfeeding! Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Breastfeeding is the easiest way to lose weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t know where to post this but I’m going with the postpartum forum because I am 3 months postpartum and want the advice and input tailored based on that. I have a 4 year old and a 3 month old. I am 35 years old and done having kids.

I was looking at my iPhone “random” highlighted photos and saw pictures of me before kids. I was glowing, I had beautiful long hair, I had nice skin, bright teeth, smelled nice, feminine clothes, and most importantly, I was at a nice weight (not super skinny but just right for my frame). I remember putting on clothes and going out for errands or vacation or date night and I felt beautiful.

I want that feeling back even if a little bit. I miss being beautiful and feeling nice about myself. I am overweight I look pregnant with a C-section shelf and arms that are like big potato sacks. I have weird dark spots on my skin. I’ve been cutting my hair since pandemic began and it’s lackluster. I’m constantly so smelly and gassy. I wear leggings and nursing tanks. I have little kids I’m nursing and I’m not rich so I can’t just buy a peloton or go out for extravagant workouts.

So, I am nursing, but what can I do? Did any of you lose weight and continued to nurse if you had a regular supply (not over supply)? What should I be eating is there a diet I should follow or hire an Instagram trainer or something? How do I get my skin to look more youthful and can I wear it when nursing? I wish I could do Invisalign or teeth whitening but not sure I can do the time commitment. I don’t fell like buying clothes because I’m overweight. BO is out of control how do I help that?

I think if I lost weight I would feel better and other things will improve as well but with nursing and little kids, I don’t know where to start. I feel like the monsters from where the wild things are I want to not be like that.

You control what you eat so only you are at fault for being overweight and I know mindless eating is so easy to fall into. As for BO, do you bathe and change clothes everyday,? Also, I can always smell a. nursing mother. They may not think they smell but they do. Take it by by day and give yourself a year because you can accomplish a lot in a year. In the meantime, use makeup everyday and dress nicely--no yoga pants. Present your best self and you will be beautiful. Hire a baby sitter and go to a spa plus a mani/Pedi and have your hair done. You will look and feel beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Buy a couple of nice pants, shorts, dresses etc. You need some clothes that fit.

Do an outdoor masked haircut, if you’re worried about Covid.

Take lots of walks.

If it makes you feel better, I look so much worse than I did two years ago. And I don’t even have kids. The pandemic really aged me. I think a lot of people feel that way. I’ve always been average looking so it probably doesn’t affect me as much as it affects you.

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain, OP. I’m in the same boat - baby and 5yo, and still 20 pounds over my ideal weight. But it’s coming along, I’ve lost over 20 pounds since baby was born.

I’ve found that the basics are what work best:

- protein and veggies (or fruit) at every meal
- walk as much as you can
- body weight exercises and stretching/mobility work as you can fit it into your day. 2-5 minutes a few times a day can really add up.
- sunscreen. I use a tinted sunscreen and follow it with a “glow”/dewy sunscreen. Tinted evens out my skin tone, glow helps hide my fine lines and makes me look a bit younger
- 10 minute makeup/hair routine. Tinted sunscreen, mascara, crème blush, tinted lip balm, fill in brows if they’re thin. I’m digging French braids and side braids for my hair, easy to do and cute for summer.
- splurge on some nicer clothes, even if you plan on losing weight. Get the same thing you’re wearing now, but nicer. Instead of cheap maternity leggings, pick up some Lululemons.

This has helped me lose weight without restricting calories and without driving myself crazy. It’s also nice to feel pretty even if I’m just sitting around at home all day.

Oh and tell your partner you’re feeling down about your looks and have them compliment you! I told my H how sad I was and he’s helped me a lot in feeling more beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Strap the youngest on to you, put the older one in a stroller or a little red wagon or whatever you've got and get out there and walk until you drop. Model the active lifestyle to your children from day one. Start with 15 minutes if that is all you have. 35 is so young. (I had my kids in my 40s.) Turn off the TV and walk around the block.

You will feel beautiful with glowing skin again and let that hair grow.

My own mom had 3 kids in 4 years and this is what she did. I did it too. So can you.

[Anonymous]

-stop cutting your own hair. wear N95 mask to salon if you feel worried.

-see postpartum physical therapist (pelvic floor focused) for help with the C shelf. if you look pregnant, you might have diastasis recti (split ab muscles), which is treatable with PT. I've used Advantage Physical Therapy in Falls Church and Washington Wellness PT downtown. if it doesn't help completely, I'd personally seek surgical options. but PT is the first step and you may be surprised how much it helps

-get exercise. if you have a spouse, you have time to exercise. avoid crunches/situps until you see a PT, as recommended above.

-prioritize sleep. baby can be nudged toward good sleep habits. no sleeping in your arms or in your bed. start a bedtime routine. I look like hell if I don't get enough sleep, kid or no kid.

-stop nursing. sleep and pelvic floor health (and mental health) usually improve with this step. also enables weight loss more efficiently.

-get dressed every day, in real pants, even if you are just sitting around at home. same with makeup if you wear it, or at least moisturizer/skincare. see a dermatologist if you are having skin issues.

-drink more water, cut down on alcohol and sugar/simple carbs

-find a village of support - daycare, nanny, babysitter, whatever combo works for you. your kid is out of the super super vulnerable, spinal tap for all fevers, newborn days. i personally would find a trustworthy adult (not a college kid) to babysit at least a few hours a week even if you don't "need" the help to go to work.

-buy new clothes! not because you're "accepting your new body" or whatever, but because you want to look nice!

-have hobbies or at least a hobby that make you feel confident. same with social stimulation/friendships. it's about to be beautiful April weather so you can go outdoors if you are covid-cautious.