How to handle sleep routine differences with spouse?

[Anonymous]

Since his needs trump yours, I would put a cot into the child’s room and sleep in there. Sorry you have a jerk husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a night owl but have adapted to my DH's routine (go to bed at 10p, wake up by 6a). It feels much healthier and gives us ample adult-only time now that we have a child. Your DH's midnight exercise routine is honestly weird.

This would be ideal for me, but I accept that DH is a night owl. His father is the same - MIL goes to bed at 9, FIL is up until midnight or later.
Wasn’t an issue until I wanted to go to bed earlier so I suspect it will require some adjustment and trying some changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your spouse even apart of your family?? He gets home after dinner and after your kid goes to bed. He takes a nap instead of spending time with you. And then he's working out while you're sleeping. All of this is insane.

Dh and I get home at 5pm (we start work at 7-8am). We hang out with our kids, eat dinner as a family, play together and then the kids go to bed by 7:30/8pm. Then we're both doing chores together until 10:30pm. I go to bed and am asleep by 11pm while dh fools around on his Iphone. I refuse to wake up to take a kid to the bathroom either.

You… do chores as a couple for 2 1/2 hours? That’s weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your spouse even apart of your family?? He gets home after dinner and after your kid goes to bed. He takes a nap instead of spending time with you. And then he's working out while you're sleeping. All of this is insane.

Dh and I get home at 5pm (we start work at 7-8am). We hang out with our kids, eat dinner as a family, play together and then the kids go to bed by 7:30/8pm. Then we're both doing chores together until 10:30pm. I go to bed and am asleep by 11pm while dh fools around on his Iphone. I refuse to wake up to take a kid to the bathroom either.

As I said, this is not every night:
This schedule is a little different when we spend time together or have dates together, obviously, but on these mundane weeknights, I'd like to be able to sleep without waking up 3-4 times at night.

And I don’t get up to help my kid go to the bathroom. But I wake up because the bathroom is right outside the bedroom and our preschooler can’t really go to the bathroom silently.

[Anonymous]

Different bedrooms quite a bit. I work late in home office and wake up at 7am, he crashes early and wakes up for coffee super early. I don't like it but it was getting too disruptive for the whole household. Friends and family we have traveled with or houseguested at find him disruptive as well (creeping around at 5 or 6am, loudly making tons of coffee, eats all the food before 7 or 8am).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different bedrooms quite a bit. I work late in home office and wake up at 7am, he crashes early and wakes up for coffee super early. I don't like it but it was getting too disruptive for the whole household. Friends and family we have traveled with or houseguested at find him disruptive as well (creeping around at 5 or 6am, loudly making tons of coffee, eats all the food before 7 or 8am).

We are in 2 BEDRM/1 Bath. There’s no other room.

[Anonymous]

mental disorders / on the spectrum.

[Anonymous]

Why does he need to shower twice? So he can spend less time with his family? He should shower right after working out. No one needs to shower before working out.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Btw spouse often does his computer browsing in the bedroom because I watch TV on the one TV in the living room. So that’s once nice thing he does for me. When we want to watch TV separately I often watch on the couch and DH watches on his laptop or watches in the living room later in the evening after his nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to shower twice? So he can spend less time with his family? He should shower right after working out. No one needs to shower before working out.

He may be ocd? He used to shower more, but now he showers in the AM, after work, and after working out or taking out the trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to shower twice? So he can spend less time with his family? He should shower right after working out. No one needs to shower before working out.

He may be ocd? He used to shower more, but now he showers in the AM, after work, and after working out or taking out the trash.

He showers after he takes out the trash?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your spouse even apart of your family?? He gets home after dinner and after your kid goes to bed. He takes a nap instead of spending time with you. And then he's working out while you're sleeping. All of this is insane.

Dh and I get home at 5pm (we start work at 7-8am). We hang out with our kids, eat dinner as a family, play together and then the kids go to bed by 7:30/8pm. Then we're both doing chores together until 10:30pm. I go to bed and am asleep by 11pm while dh fools around on his Iphone. I refuse to wake up to take a kid to the bathroom either.

You… do chores as a couple for 2 1/2 hours? That’s weird.

Yes. Cleaning dishes, regular house cleaning, prepping dinner for tomorrow, making lunches, laundry, I take a shower usually. Last night I did my taxes, there's always something. I have 3 kids under 5 so the place isn't spotless either. I don't spend my weekends doing chores though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to shower twice? So he can spend less time with his family? He should shower right after working out. No one needs to shower before working out.

He may be ocd? He used to shower more, but now he showers in the AM, after work, and after working out or taking out the trash.

He showers after he takes out the trash?

Yes, but I’m not complaining since I only take out the trash maybe 2-3 times a month.

[Anonymous]

What's unsafe about the gym?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he need to shower twice? So he can spend less time with his family? He should shower right after working out. No one needs to shower before working out.

He may be ocd? He used to shower more, but now he showers in the AM, after work, and after working out or taking out the trash.

He showers after he takes out the trash?

Oh come on- this has got to be a troll. Who showers 3x a day??