Starting to care about dates' SES

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

You can afford to RENT a house and a child on $180k in this area. Specify if you live in Ohio.

A rented house is still a house. Being a classist and regionalist isn't becoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a female but in my late 20s I was still in grad school and making 18K a year as a TA. I am 47 now and make 500K. I am glad that my DH didn’t rule me out because I wasn’t making as much as him 20 years ago. In your 20s you need to focus on things like work ethic and career ambition, not the $ amount. It is still pretty early in the curve for many professions.

+1
Met DH I'm grad school. Directly out of grad school he made ~40k and I still was in school.... fast forward to our mid 40s and we are in top 1% no matter how you slice the cake HHI or wealth. Money isn't everything, but don't marry just for love...

Ah yes, another I married him when we was poor, but he makes $$$, but I would love him anyway.

[Anonymous]

It's great you think that way, super smart! the only problem is whether that prospective partner will want you back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

+1. The ignorance displayed on this forum is depressing at times.

We have a house 2 kids a dog and a SAHD on $90k in NOVA. Real estate is in the timing of the buy.

[Anonymous]

White males are often given a salary hike when married.

¿Que?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it makes you a gold digger, but you should realize salary is not a set thing. That 90k could decrease if he decides he needs to take another job or field.

Which brings me to you need to consider his overall attitude towards money and finances. Does he have tons of debt? Lots of wasteful spending?

What's his work ethic? Is he ambitious and motivated or is he the type discussed on this forum who will quit his job or be fired and chronically unemployed?

What are his future goals.

As pp said don't throw out an overall good guy and good match because he maybe makes only 70 k.

This is the truth.

I am late 30s now, been married over 10 years. I got married young for this area and my spouse made a lot at the time. Huge earning went away and DH is now at a job he enjoys in the public sector.

Lots of things happened in life where you want a GOOD loving spouse and I am thankful I didn't end up with some of the guys I'd dated, who wouldn't have been a good spouse during hard times which come for many in life though no one expects it.

You want someone with similar values, who you get along with, who worships the ground you walk on.

I know women still dating, my age approaching 40, because they are pursuing high earners or some criteria list. Men who fit that specific criteria list may be a hot commodity short on supply and high in demand, and may often use that status to "play the field" or have their own criteria list for women to settle down with.

That is for you as a single women to decide how to proceed, but I mention this because with a "criteria list" with stringent income requirements, I have seen women end up alone, or unhappy, etc. I got a man with very high income, and very high income potential went away (and is all good, make a good income at a public sector job he enjoys), so I tell you also, that can happen too.

[Anonymous]

“Starting to care”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

You can afford to RENT a house and a child on $180k in this area. Specify if you live in Ohio.

Sounds pretty low for child rental, actually

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

Even on $90k. I've done it.

Two earners, $90k total, 4BR house in PG County, 2 kids, 2 dogs, private school, and still plenty of money left over for retirement and college savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never thought of myself as a gold digger. My past partners have made between 60-100k, but their income was just a side thought. However, lately I am starting to care a lot about potential partners earning or earning potential. I make around 90k in my late twenties and am starting realize that I want a house and a kid. And to support both those financial goals, my future husband will have to earn around what I make or more. So now I don't think I would seriously date someone who at least make 70k. I'm in my late twenties, so I'm more marriage minded than I was in the past. Does this make me a gold digger? Or do a lot of women go through this transformation of thought?

Wow, is this forum ever made for you! Welcome to DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

+1. The ignorance displayed on this forum is depressing at times.

We have a house 2 kids a dog and a SAHD on $90k in NOVA. Real estate is in the timing of the buy.

+1 and managing expectations. If you're looking for a 4 BDR/4BA neo-colonial, forget it. A 1950s ranch style house on .3 acre in the Alexandria section of FFX Co, no problem! It's what I did on a single salary less than $100K.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's great you think that way, super smart! the only problem is whether that prospective partner will want you back.

-1 If OP were so smart, she'd achieve what she wanted on her on salary and not have to depend on a man to give it to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a female but in my late 20s I was still in grad school and making 18K a year as a TA. I am 47 now and make 500K. I am glad that my DH didn’t rule me out because I wasn’t making as much as him 20 years ago. In your 20s you need to focus on things like work ethic and career ambition, not the $ amount. It is still pretty early in the curve for many professions.

+1
Met DH I'm grad school. Directly out of grad school he made ~40k and I still was in school.... fast forward to our mid 40s and we are in top 1% no matter how you slice the cake HHI or wealth. Money isn't everything, but don't marry just for love...

Ah yes, another I married him when we was poor, but he makes $$$, but I would love him anyway.

I think the point here is they met in grad school. They were both going places anyway. So marry because of ambition AND love, not just one.

I would never remarry, if spouse died, simply because I would always worry about golddiggers. And yes, we married poor.