Starting to care about dates' SES

[Anonymous]

I've never thought of myself as a gold digger. My past partners have made between 60-100k, but their income was just a side thought. However, lately I am starting to care a lot about potential partners earning or earning potential. I make around 90k in my late twenties and am starting realize that I want a house and a kid. And to support both those financial goals, my future husband will have to earn around what I make or more. So now I don't think I would seriously date someone who at least make 70k. I'm in my late twenties, so I'm more marriage minded than I was in the past. Does this make me a gold digger? Or do a lot of women go through this transformation of thought?

[Anonymous]

No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

[Anonymous]

I’m a female but in my late 20s I was still in grad school and making 18K a year as a TA. I am 47 now and make 500K. I am glad that my DH didn’t rule me out because I wasn’t making as much as him 20 years ago. In your 20s you need to focus on things like work ethic and career ambition, not the $ amount. It is still pretty early in the curve for many professions.

[Anonymous]

It does not make you a gold digger it makes you practical. I would suggest considering trajectory and potential as well as bottom line, but in your late twenties you’re on about a ten year timeline so don’t allow too long for reaching a comfortable salary.

[Anonymous]

When I was 26 I made 43k. Now about 10x, 15 years later. Hard to predict at times!

[Anonymous]

Don’t discount a good man because of his income. I briefly dated a man who made almost four times my salary and he was a cheap condescending classless jerk. What matters most is ambition, goals, and work ethics. Companies are now more open to letting staff move out of state and telework, so perhaps you could move to a less expensive area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

Even on $90k. I've done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never thought of myself as a gold digger. My past partners have made between 60-100k, but their income was just a side thought. However, lately I am starting to care a lot about potential partners earning or earning potential. I make around 90k in my late twenties and am starting realize that I want a house and a kid. And to support both those financial goals, my future husband will have to earn around what I make or more. So now I don't think I would seriously date someone who at least make 70k. I'm in my late twenties, so I'm more marriage minded than I was in the past. Does this make me a gold digger? Or do a lot of women go through this transformation of thought?

You can still accumulate wealth while married. White males are often given a salary hike when married. Marry for love and things like no debt, fiscal responsibility, trust, respect, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

+1. The ignorance displayed on this forum is depressing at times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've never thought of myself as a gold digger. My past partners have made between 60-100k, but their income was just a side thought. However, lately I am starting to care a lot about potential partners earning or earning potential. I make around 90k in my late twenties and am starting realize that I want a house and a kid. And to support both those financial goals, my future husband will have to earn around what I make or more. So now I don't think I would seriously date someone who at least make 70k. I'm in my late twenties, so I'm more marriage minded than I was in the past. Does this make me a gold digger? Or do a lot of women go through this transformation of thought?

You can still accumulate wealth while married. White males are often given a salary hike when married. Marry for love and things like no debt, fiscal responsibility, trust, respect, etc.

Really???

[Anonymous]

I don't think it makes you a gold digger, but you should realize salary is not a set thing. That 90k could decrease if he decides he needs to take another job or field.

Which brings me to you need to consider his overall attitude towards money and finances. Does he have tons of debt? Lots of wasteful spending?

What's his work ethic? Is he ambitious and motivated or is he the type discussed on this forum who will quit his job or be fired and chronically unemployed?

What are his future goals.

As pp said don't throw out an overall good guy and good match because he maybe makes only 70 k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a female but in my late 20s I was still in grad school and making 18K a year as a TA. I am 47 now and make 500K. I am glad that my DH didn’t rule me out because I wasn’t making as much as him 20 years ago. In your 20s you need to focus on things like work ethic and career ambition, not the $ amount. It is still pretty early in the curve for many professions.

+1
Met DH I'm grad school. Directly out of grad school he made ~40k and I still was in school.... fast forward to our mid 40s and we are in top 1% no matter how you slice the cake HHI or wealth. Money isn't everything, but don't marry just for love...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No it doesn’t. 90k isn’t that much either x 2. You can’t afford a house and kid on that.

You can definitely afford a house and child on $180k.

You can afford to RENT a house and a child on $180k in this area. Specify if you live in Ohio.

[Anonymous]

Alpha f’s, beta bux

It’s a well known thing.