What if the "best fit" is a mediocre school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does a "mediocre" school mean?

It means Landon

Is Landon considered a mediocre school? I have daughters, but I’ve good things about the school from others in the community.

* I’ve heard good things

[Anonymous]

I would wait for acceptances before worrying. Then, you need the child to do a shadow day at the schools. Has he done this? The shadow days changed my daughter’s opinion of her favorite schools. Finances aren’t a concern of ours (so I’m not sure how that factors into the equation) but I would absolutely allow my child to choose their school. I would expect that if my child was really exceptional that a “mediocre” school would allow them to shine, plus she’d be happy which is our main goal.

[Anonymous]

Nothing is guaranteed in the current admissions process.

Wait until you have acceptances in hand. And then do another round of visits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does a "mediocre" school mean?

It means Landon

Is Landon considered a mediocre school? I have daughters, but I’ve good things about the school from others in the community.

I suspect PP was trolling, but if they weren’t, then they were being obnoxiously elitist. Landon is a terrific school for many, many boys. Mine does not go there, but only because we wanted something different, not necessarily better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally get this post. For my older children, I got caught up with having them go to the “best” schools. I have a rising 9th grader and she fell in love with what would have been my back up choice. I’m going to let her go there, though. What I learned from my older kids - high school is so much more than prestige, academic rigor, or perceived status. Especially with what our kids have gone through - I am going for a well-rounded school where my daughter felt warmly welcomed and supported. It’s not a pressure cooker school, but it matches her values and she will be able to join in a lot of activities without stressing as much. Just some perspective from a mom who has BTDT.

Thanks. This is our eldest kid so it’s helpful to hear from someone who has btdt.

The “mediocre” school is warmer and less pressure cooker so it could be a happier experience overall.

But it’s hard for two type-A, top 10 grads to let go of our drive for “the best” if we know it’s an option.

Guess we will see how things play out over the next few months.

[Anonymous]

I think it is fine to tell your kids we don't think XYZ school is worth $45K more than public. But the best way to handle that is to not let your kid tour XYZ school and just not have it available as an option. Same as how a Catholic family wouldn't have a Jewish day school on the list of options. But you're father down the road so trickier to handle this now. But I do think it is ok to say "we took another look at our our finances are we aren't going to pay for XYZ because it does not seem that much better than our public school."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get this post. For my older children, I got caught up with having them go to the “best” schools. I have a rising 9th grader and she fell in love with what would have been my back up choice. I’m going to let her go there, though. What I learned from my older kids - high school is so much more than prestige, academic rigor, or perceived status. Especially with what our kids have gone through - I am going for a well-rounded school where my daughter felt warmly welcomed and supported. It’s not a pressure cooker school, but it matches her values and she will be able to join in a lot of activities without stressing as much. Just some perspective from a mom who has BTDT.

Thanks. This is our eldest kid so it’s helpful to hear from someone who has btdt.

The “mediocre” school is warmer and less pressure cooker so it could be a happier experience overall.

But it’s hard for two type-A, top 10 grads to let go of our drive for “the best” if we know it’s an option.

Guess we will see how things play out over the next few months.

Flip over to the college board and read all the griping from private school parents seeing that public school kids fare better in college admissions due to relative grade inflation and decreased importance of standardized testing. I have one kid in public and one in private. My private school kid is getting a better education that he could in public. But a better HS education does not necessarily mean better chance at admissions to elite colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get this post. For my older children, I got caught up with having them go to the “best” schools. I have a rising 9th grader and she fell in love with what would have been my back up choice. I’m going to let her go there, though. What I learned from my older kids - high school is so much more than prestige, academic rigor, or perceived status. Especially with what our kids have gone through - I am going for a well-rounded school where my daughter felt warmly welcomed and supported. It’s not a pressure cooker school, but it matches her values and she will be able to join in a lot of activities without stressing as much. Just some perspective from a mom who has BTDT.

Thanks. This is our eldest kid so it’s helpful to hear from someone who has btdt.

The “mediocre” school is warmer and less pressure cooker so it could be a happier experience overall.

But it’s hard for two type-A, top 10 grads to let go of our drive for “the best” if we know it’s an option.

Guess we will see how things play out over the next few months.

You are simply misdefining "best" in this instance. What is "best" for your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get this post. For my older children, I got caught up with having them go to the “best” schools. I have a rising 9th grader and she fell in love with what would have been my back up choice. I’m going to let her go there, though. What I learned from my older kids - high school is so much more than prestige, academic rigor, or perceived status. Especially with what our kids have gone through - I am going for a well-rounded school where my daughter felt warmly welcomed and supported. It’s not a pressure cooker school, but it matches her values and she will be able to join in a lot of activities without stressing as much. Just some perspective from a mom who has BTDT.

Thanks. This is our eldest kid so it’s helpful to hear from someone who has btdt.

The “mediocre” school is warmer and less pressure cooker so it could be a happier experience overall.

But it’s hard for two type-A, top 10 grads to let go of our drive for “the best” if we know it’s an option.

Guess we will see how things play out over the next few months.

You need to parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had or the child that you were yourself. There is nothing wrong with a happier, less pressure cooker experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get this post. For my older children, I got caught up with having them go to the “best” schools. I have a rising 9th grader and she fell in love with what would have been my back up choice. I’m going to let her go there, though. What I learned from my older kids - high school is so much more than prestige, academic rigor, or perceived status. Especially with what our kids have gone through - I am going for a well-rounded school where my daughter felt warmly welcomed and supported. It’s not a pressure cooker school, but it matches her values and she will be able to join in a lot of activities without stressing as much. Just some perspective from a mom who has BTDT.

Thanks. This is our eldest kid so it’s helpful to hear from someone who has btdt.

The “mediocre” school is warmer and less pressure cooker so it could be a happier experience overall.

But it’s hard for two type-A, top 10 grads to let go of our drive for “the best” if we know it’s an option.

Guess we will see how things play out over the next few months.

You need to parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had or the child that you were yourself. There is nothing wrong with a happier, less pressure cooker experience.

Yes - this, OP.

[Anonymous]

Is money an object? Will private school tuition prevent you from sending DC to the private university of his dreams? How does the local public compare? I assume you’ve already thought this through, but if DC only gets into the so-called mediocre schools, it may be too late to tell him that he’s going public after all.

[Anonymous]

It’s hard if you are new to private. My kids are in a gifted program in public, but they don’t enjoy doing school work when they don’t have to. We applied to some schools that are considered pressure cookers and some that are said to be not.

I am scared they will get into a pressure cooker and it will be too much.

[Anonymous]

Then it’s not considered mediocre for your kid. Name means nothing if it’s not a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally get this post. For my older children, I got caught up with having them go to the “best” schools. I have a rising 9th grader and she fell in love with what would have been my back up choice. I’m going to let her go there, though. What I learned from my older kids - high school is so much more than prestige, academic rigor, or perceived status. Especially with what our kids have gone through - I am going for a well-rounded school where my daughter felt warmly welcomed and supported. It’s not a pressure cooker school, but it matches her values and she will be able to join in a lot of activities without stressing as much. Just some perspective from a mom who has BTDT.

Thanks. This is our eldest kid so it’s helpful to hear from someone who has btdt.

The “mediocre” school is warmer and less pressure cooker so it could be a happier experience overall.

But it’s hard for two type-A, top 10 grads to let go of our drive for “the best” if we know it’s an option.

Guess we will see how things play out over the next few months.

You need to parent the child you have, not the child you wish you had or the child that you were yourself. There is nothing wrong with a happier, less pressure cooker experience.

Yes this. I’m on my 4th kid in private high school and this is an important, lasting lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does a "mediocre" school mean?

Bullis, obviously.